


Downfall

by Icalynn, Ischa



Series: Wayne Designation CAU9569BIM9698BA [3]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman (Movies - Nolan), Dark Knight Rises (2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Co-Written, F/M, Family, M/M, Polyamory, Sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-28
Updated: 2014-03-04
Packaged: 2017-12-30 18:24:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 70,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1021929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icalynn/pseuds/Icalynn, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ischa/pseuds/Ischa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Events surrounding the Occupation.... where Bruce is presumed dead and John discovers he might be falling in love with Dick. Complications be damned.  </p><p>Sequel to Bodies in Motion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> As stated in the summary, this is the sequel to Bodies in Motion. If you have not read that, this will make no sense to you! 
> 
> John's POV by Icalynn  
> Dick's POV by Ischa
> 
> Will be adding additional parings and warnings as needed... this is a work in progress.
> 
> Enjoy!

~Zero~ 

Dick had told John that it would be okay, but the truth was, he wasn’t sure. He wanted it all to be okay, because John deserved to be happy. He didn’t think Bruce deserved it – at least not now. The anger at Bruce was still burning very strongly in Dick’s veins and that Bruce apparently got what he desired when Dick had to leave Amanda – he took a deep breath to calm himself down and balled his hands to fists.

“I’m glad you’re back,” Bruce said once the door was closed. Dick imagined that he could feel John linger on the other side of it. Just inches out of reach.

“Really? Because I wasn’t due for another week.” Because you left me in Germany for a year, even I didn’t speak with you, because I was just that angry, he thought.

“I still don’t know how you could sneak all of that past me,” Bruce said with a small smile.

Dick shrugged. He still loved to see Bruce smile. To see him happy, and he had looked happy with John draped all around him. He had looked peaceful and it was hard to hate him right now. Bruce hadn’t looked that way since Dick’s parents died. 

He could not hate Bruce, he realized. It was true that Bruce had done wrong by him. He had tried and he had failed, because he was too self-centered. He wasn’t like Dick, or how Dick’s parents had been. He wasn’t like John either. He was different and for the first time Dick thought, Bruce was a darker kind of human. Something that maybe didn’t belong into the day-light world. It was silly, he knew, but there it was.

“I have means and ways. Friends. And everyone thought you were a douche for doing what you did,” Dick replied. “That helped.”

“I’m sorry Dick,” Bruce said.

“For what exactly?” Dick crossed his arms over his chest and looked at Bruce. He wondered if Bruce would say the right things. He wondered if it would make any difference at all. 

“For acting so selfishly,” Bruce answered after a long silence.

Dick nodded. It was start. “And now you want to be even more selfish-”

“If you are against it-”

“You would leave John hanging? You would pull away again, after you had had sex with him? Hurt him even more? You would cut him out of your life? And probably mine too?” Dick cut in. “Are you stupid? I think John deserves everything he wants. I’ve always had,” Dick said, and didn’t think too much about how he loved John, how…how John should have been his and how he could have done so much better by John than Bruce.

“Dick-”

“I am still angry at you for dumping me in Germany and leaving me there. I am still not ready to forgive you for that. But I am different than you. I don’t punish other people for your mistakes. You should go to John and talk. I mean it, Bruce. He needs to know that this wasn’t just you losing it and being eaten by your guilt afterwards. He needs to know that it means something. That he means something to you,” Dick said. The last word was barely a whisper and Dick fought hard not to choke on it. 

John had said it himself: there was no one else for him besides Bruce. He was fixated on Bruce and it would never change. It hadn’t in all these years. Dick just had to suck it up and deal with it. And besides he had Amanda and she loved him. Wasn’t it greedy to want to have John too? Probably, but Dick couldn’t help it.

“Thank you, Dick,” Bruce said and took a step forward.

What the hell for, Dick wanted to ask. It was the sane thing to do. It was a simple calculation. If Dick said he didn’t approve of John and Bruce, Bruce would pull away again. Maybe from everyone and everything and John would be unhappy and Dick would be unhappy too. Three people being messed up. Dick wouldn’t stand for it. He could suck it up and let John and Bruce be happy together. Well, he could at least try. It would have been easier of course if he hadn’t realized his feelings for John, but life sometimes sucked like that.

“Just go, Bruce. I mean you shut the door in his freaking face,” Dick sighed.

Bruce grabbed him by the neck and pulled him in lightning fast. Dick had forgotten how sometimes Bruce was just so there and agile, fast, scary in a way. He went stiff for a second, but Bruce didn’t let go. “Thank you, Dick,” he repeated.

Dick sighed again and melted into the hug. He was still angry deep down in his bones and he knew that this wasn’t over at all. That this was only a quick and temporally fix, but…but: John had always been good to Dick. John had never lied to him about any of the important things. Dick wanted John to be happy and deep down he wanted for Bruce to be happy again too. Like he used to be with his parents.

He knew that it wouldn’t be easy, but he vowed to try his hardest to not let on how he felt about John. He had no such qualms he realized about letting Bruce know how he felt. But not now.

“Go,” Dick mumbled into Bruce’s chest and pulled away.

Bruce nodded and grabbed his coat.

Dick didn’t watch him leave.

~+~

Dick let his fingertips trail down the wood paneling and breathed the house in.

It was silent and familiar, but not. He got used to having neighbors. He had gotten used to the different smells from the balconies around him and now there was only silence and the wood and dust smell of the manor.

“Master Dick,” Alfred said.

Dick smiled and turned around. “Hey…”

“You were hiding,” Alfred said.

Dick nodded. He had been hiding. He had no illusions that Alfred knew exactly what had happened between Bruce and John and he had no doubt that somehow Alfred had encouraged John over the last year. Hell, everyone had been encouraging John to not give up on Bruce. Dick had known that Bruce was feeling something for John too. Why did it still hurt so much then?

“I’m getting familiar with the house again,” Dick said.

“The house is as it always was, Master Dick. Only the people change,” he replied with a smile that was mostly in his eyes. “Would you like some dinner and perhaps a bowl of Gypsy Magic?”

Dick had missed Alfred’s cooking. He had liked what Miss Olga cooked and her wife too, but most of their dishes were distinctly European. While Alfred’s cooking was solid and American in a way that was hard to describe, and also strange considering that Alfred was British himself.

“I’d like dinner, yes,” Dick said. “But maybe I can have cake instead?”

“Don’t you feel like ice-cream tonight, Master Dick?”

“No,” he replied. “No, not really.”

Alfred nodded and Dick followed him back to the kitchen.


	2. Chapter 2

~One~ 

The light filtered into the darkness of his bedroom. John yawned, waking up slowly, feeling warm and content wrapped up in the arms of the man he loved. John never thought that this would happen… it was a dream come true. 

He turned and kissed Bruce’s chest, tracing his fingers over one of the many scars that marred Bruce’s skin that he didn’t take the time to fully explore the night before. 

Bruce groaned, his arms tightening possessively around John. It cemented the fact that Bruce was here in his bed, that last night wasn’t a dream… it was very real. And god, he thought sex with Lucas was good, but Bruce was fucking amazing. John had never felt so complete until him. 

“Morning,” John whispered as he realized Bruce was watching him and he looked up into Bruce’s eyes. “Sleep well?”

“Yes.” He smiled, a real smile and not one of those fake Bruce Wayne smiles. It tugged at John’s heart and he leaned up and kissed Bruce. 

The kiss was hungry and passionate and it sparked the desire he’s always felt for Bruce. And this time he knew it was mutual… but it still left so many unanswered questions of their future. 

“I probably should have asked you last night, but what about Miranda?” John questioned as they parted, rubbing his hands up and down Bruce’s sides. 

“We are no longer together,” Bruce stated, running his fingers through John’s hair and John leaned into the tender touch. 

“Good… I mean, I’d understand if you needed to date her, public appearances and all that.” Bruce snorted, shaking his head as he pulled him closer, kissing him deeply. John moaned against his lips. “So, does this mean there is an us?”

Bruce chuckled, “There was always an us.” 

John smiled, his heart skipping a beat at his confirmation. “I fucking knew it.” 

“You never let me forget.” He snorted and John stole another kiss, unable to stop himself… he knew he’d never tire of this, tasting him, kissing him. Loving him. 

“I’m never going to let you forget it…” John smirked, startling slightly when his alarm went off. “Fuck.” John smacked it off, his eyes widening when he realized what time it was. “Crap, I’m gonna be late...” He reluctantly pulled away from Bruce.

Bruce tugged on his arm, not letting him go and he pulled John into a breathtaking kiss that left him weak in the knees. “To last you through your day.”

John swooned, if he wasn’t already madly in love with this man he’d be a goner now. Who knew that this side existed? “Fuck.”

“Language.” 

John smacked his arm, “Shut up.” He scrambled off the bed and headed to the bathroom. He switched on the water and stepped under the spray. John started to wash off the evidence of their lovemaking when he felt Bruce step in behind him. 

Bruce took the washcloth from his hands, proceeded to clean every inch of his skin, and purposely ignored his hardening cock. John moaned, arching back into Bruce’s body, shuddering as he felt Bruce’s hardness against his backside. “Someone seems eager for my attention,” Bruce teased as he finally wrapped his hands around John’s cock.

“Oh, god.” John moaned, hands flailing as he reached out for purchase as Bruce began to jerk him off. “Bruce.” 

“Did you think of me when you jerked off in the shower?” Bruce breathed into his ear and John whimpered, his head dropping back against Bruce’s chest. 

“Yes, fuck.” He thrust into Bruce’s hand… Bruce did it exactly how he liked it without him even having to tell him…it was a heady feeling. It was like he knew him inside and out. “And every other fucking place possible…” John continued and he had to bite his tongue so he wouldn’t babble on about the fact that he also imagined them in the Batmobile… on the rooftop with Bruce in his Batsuit. 

Bruce sucked on John’s neck, marking him for the entire world to see and John welcomed it. He felt claimed and wanted, so different from the first time he kissed Bruce on his seventeenth birthday. Bruce rubbed his erection in the cleft of his ass and John rocked back against him. 

The water was starting to lose the heat, but John’s body was on fire and he barely noticed. He continued to move in sync with Bruce until he cried out his name and shuddered through his release. He moaned, smiling as he felt Bruce come against his back. 

John turned to Bruce, pulling him into a kiss as the water turned blistering cold and he yelped. “Fuck.” 

Bruce chuckled, quickly cleaning them up. “Next time, my shower will have to do.” 

“So there will be a next time?” John suddenly felt a rush of relief that he didn’t realize had been building… this wasn’t a onetime thing. It was a beginning of something that he hoped would be forever. 

“Yes.” Bruce wrapped a towel around him and helped dry him off. “Now you better hurry or you’ll have to answer to the Commissioner.” 

John didn’t want to leave Bruce, but like Bruce, he had a duty to his city. “Tonight at the manor? Dinner?” 

Bruce nodded, “You have your key.” 

John smirked. “Alfred’s advice worked after all.” He tugged on Bruce’s arm and pulled him into another kiss. 

“I should have known,” Bruce snorted, nipping at his lip as he slapped John’s ass. “Get dressed, you have work to do.” 

~+~

“Did you see who they paired me up with?” Lucas groaned as he plopped down beside him. 

John couldn’t help but chuckle, he was glad he was placed with Ross for his partner. It would have been awesome to be with Lucas, but for their first year, they would have to be with a more seasoned partner to learn the ropes. “He’s a good veteran cop.” 

“That’s right he’s a veteran cop… more like he’s overweight, old, and lazy.” Lucas shook his head with disgust and John laughed outright it was rare to see Lucas so riled up. “It’s not funny-” he paused, looking John over. “Wait, something’s different.”

John shrugged, trying for nonchalant but Lucas knew him too well, and he felt his cheeks flush. 

“You got laid,” Lucas inhaled, glancing around them before he scooted closer to him. “Oh, you gotta spill, who was it? You’ve not been out with anyone since we broke it off…”

John’s body flushed as he thought about the night before and he ducked his head. Lucas had been his last partner, until Bruce finally came to his senses. “Um.” 

Lucas leaned a little closer, pulling on his collar to see a few of the marks Bruce had left on his body. “Robin John Blake, if you don’t spill I’m so going to kick your ass… and you know I can do it.” 

“I know, I know,” John grinned. “It’s Wayne.” 

Lucas’ eyes widened, “You’re shitting me!” 

John shook his head, he knew he must have turned every color of red for the amount he was blushing. “It was fucking amazing.” 

Lucas immediately wrapped his arms around him in a tight embrace and John returned it. “I’m so happy for you,” Lucas whispered into his ear. “I can’t wait to tell Dimitri… ah, man. You couldn’t wait another year?” 

John raised a brow in confusion as he pulled away, “What?” 

“We had a bet, he said that Wayne wouldn’t hold out another year and I said he would.” Lucas explained and John scoffed. 

“Seriously?” John shook his head and Lucas was supposed to be one of his closest friends. “I can’t believe you bet against me.”

“At least we knew it would happen one day… you’re both stubborn men.” Lucas pointed out as he squeezed his arm.

“I had hoped that it would, but I didn’t know if it ever would,” John confessed, running his fingers through his hair. “It still can’t believe it… last night, this morning-”

“Morning?” Lucas teased. “He even stayed the night?” 

John’s cheeks flushed even more. “Yeah, he came to our place. That alone was shocking, ya know?”

Lucas nodded, grinning at him. “Damn, I’m so happy for you.” 

“Rookies! Gather around.” The Sergeant began and they paused, turning to him as the rest of their class pooled into the room. Lucas bumped his shoulder against John’s as the officer began to speak and go over their class for the day. 

John found it hard to focus on the task… all he could think about was Bruce and the night before. He shook his head, clearing it as the Commissioner entered the room. It was time to get busy. 

~+~

It was later than he had anticipated and he was practically dead on his feet by the time he made it back to the manor. John wasn’t sure how long he was standing at the door with his key in hand when Alfred opened it and he gave him a small smile, “Hey, Al.”

“Master John, we’ve been expecting you.” 

John nodded, “Kinda got held up.” He rubbed his neck, suppressing a yawn. “I’ve been looking forward to a good meal all day.” 

“Dinner is ready to be served, Master Dick was insistent that we wait for you.” Alfred informed him and John felt special.

John smiled, “Of course.” 

Alfred led him to the kitchen and John was happy to see the two people he loved the most sitting at the kitchen table. John had always preferred the comfort and warmth of this table and he just felt like he was home. He was practically walking on air as he leaned in and kissed Bruce briefly before he plopped down on the chair next to him.

“We were starting to get worried,” Bruce commented as John felt Bruce squeeze his leg under the table and John flushed with love and desire… it was just so surreal. 

John glanced over at Dick who was watching him carefully. “The Commissioner had us running drills and then we had to go through a dozen cold cases and reorganize the evidence and paperwork…it took forever.” John paused, he was about to ask about their day when Alfred served them their meal.

“Enjoy,” Alfred smiled and whatever John was about to say died on his lips as he immediately dug into his meal. He was starving, he hadn’t eaten anything all day. Bruce kept him far too occupied this morning and he didn’t manage to grab anything before heading to the station.

John was almost done when he realized that Dick was really quiet. John tapped Dick’s knee with his foot, “You’re awfully quiet.” 

Dick’s cheeks flushed and he shrugged, “I’m starving… growing boy and all that.” 

John raised a brow, but he nodded, taking another bite. “Soon you’ll be taller than me.” He teased lightly as he played footsie with Dick. 

“Maybe,” Dick smiled as he shoveled more food into his mouth and then jumped up a moment later. “I’m gonna see if I can get a hold of Amanda.” 

Dick disappeared before either of them could comment. It worried John a little and he turned to Bruce. “Everything okay?”

Bruce nodded as he glanced at the time. “I’m sure he’s just missing Amanda.” 

John sighed, “Yeah. I just…” He closed his eyes as he rubbed his neck. He just hoped that John being with Bruce wouldn’t change things. He still considered Dick his best friend and brother. 

“I know,” Bruce added as John felt his presence behind him and he let Bruce help him up. John practically melted against him as Bruce kissed him and wrapped his arms around John. 

“Take me to bed?” John smirked as he snaked his arms around Bruce. 

“Gladly.” 

~+~

John curled next to Bruce completely sated after another round of sex… he knew he could drift off into blissful sleep, but all he could think of was Dick. John kissed Bruce’s chest, “Would you kill me if I went and slept with Dick?” 

Bruce raised a brow, a flicker of worry in his eyes. “John-”

“Bruce,” John groaned as he sat up and straddled Bruce’s waist. “I’m with you and only you. However, Dick is very special to me and I just feel like something’s wrong. And if we want this to work, we need him on our side.” 

“He is,” Bruce insisted and John really wished he was there for the conversation they had the other day to know for sure… but something still felt off and he couldn’t place it. 

John leaned in and kissed him, loving how Bruce grabbed at his hips possessively. “And he’s hurting. It must have been really hard on him to leave Amanda.” 

Bruce sighed, closing his eye and reluctantly nodded his head. “Okay.” 

John smiled, kissed him once more, and pulled away. “See you in the morning,” he winked as he grabbed his boxers and pants, changing quickly before he made his way down the hall. 

He peeked into Dick’s room and frowned when he saw Dick curled up under his covers… he looked so small in the big bed. “Dick?” John began as he entered and crossed over to the bed. 

Dick whimpered slightly in his sleep as John climbed into the bed. He smiled when Dick automatically curled around him. John missed this and he ran his fingers through Dick’s hair, falling asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.


	3. Chapter 3

**~Two~**

Dick could hear and feel John breathe. He kept his eyes closed. He had missed John and he hadn’t known if John – now that he had Bruce – would be sleeping with him again. Dick knew he was way too old to curl up like a child against John’s body, but he couldn’t help it. He felt safe and he felt loved when he did it.

But he also felt a dull ache in his chest. It was stupid really, because he had always known that John was in love with Bruce. There was no one else for John. And he should be glad that he had a place in John's heart. A big part of it. John had been in Bruce's face on a regular basis just for Dick's sake.

Dick's heart had no idea what it wanted to do. It was so full with love and pain. John was the cause of both.

“I know you're up,” John whispered.

“Let me pretend a bit longer,” Dick said.

John stroked his hip under the covers and Dick sighed. He didn't know what to do. He was happy for John, because he had always wanted John to be happy, but-

“You okay?” John asked.

“Yes...” Dick answered.

“You don't sound very convincing, kiddo.”

“Stop calling me that!” Dick hissed.

“Dick-”

Dick took a deep breath. “I'm not a kid anymore.”

“I know, but I’ve always called you that, it means 'I love you'.” John said, his fingers tightening a fraction on Dick's hip.

You have Bruce now, Dick wanted to say, but bit it back. “Find a new way to say it then,” he replied.

“Dick, is everything alright?”

“I miss Amanda and now that you have Bruce-” he cut off the rest of the sentence.

“Are you afraid that I will spend less time with you?” John asked carefully.

Dick nodded. It was one of the fears he had, the other was that John or Bruce would figure out how he felt about John. 

“You really don’t have to, Dick. There is no way I will let Bruce come between us,” John added.

“You know how that sounds, right?” Dick joked.

“Oh, shut up you!” John replied and kissed his forehead. Dick committed the shape of John’s lips to memory. “But seriously, I thought you and Bruce talked. I mean he came to me after you guys talked.”

“We did. I am happy for you two. You deserve to be happy John and so does Bruce,” Dick answered.

“Okay. I want you to be okay with this.”

“I know,” Dick replied.

~+~

Bruce gave him a look at breakfast, but Dick wasn’t going to spill. No matter what. He would take this secret to his grave if he had to. He probably would have to and it was a super depressing thought.

He drank his tea and listened to Bruce and John talk and being happy.

It’s not depressing, he thought firmly. It’s not depressing.

Well at least it was Sunday and he wouldn’t have to spend the whole day tomorrow with them. Going to school never seemed so good before.

~+~

He hung out with John, because John made it a point to hang out with him the whole day.

“You don’t have to, you know?” Dick said, eating popcorn.

“I know. But I missed you and we haven’t seen enough of each other yet.”

“Will there be a time where we will have seen enough of each other?” Dick wondered.

“I hope not,” John replied.

“You should spend more time with Bruce. It is kinda your honeymoon,” Dick made himself say. He wouldn’t be selfish about this. Just because he hadn’t figured out his own feelings sooner.

John had fought for this for so long and Dick would be damned if he was going to spoil it.

“It is. It certainly feels like it,” John said quietly.

The only thing Dick could think was: But I had you first. It settled something in his stomach. He handed the popcorn over to John.

“I don’t want to know any details.”

“Are you kidding? Bruce would probably kill me if I talked about our sex-life with you or anybody really…” John replied.

Dick grinned. “Probably.”

~+~

Being back in school was strange. He had gotten used to speaking his own brand of German and English while he was in Berlin and now his old school seemed strange, foreign. It was like conquering it once more. He hated Bruce a bit for doing this to him. All the drama and now he was fucking John anyway. 

Shit, he thought, that was pretty mean.

As he sat in class, he realized that he had nothing in common with these kids. He was an outsider – probably always had been, but as a kid it didn’t really matter. Hadn’t been that noticeable. Now…well, now it did. He had no friends and it would be hard to make new ones. The girls seemed interested enough, but the guys kept a distance.

And there was something else: Dick got used to people being carefree about the things they liked and the people they liked: about sexuality. Now he had to keep it reeled in. Couldn’t joke about finding that boy cute or whatever like he used to do with Jens and Amanda.

For the first time ever Dick thought: well, school sucks. 

~+~

“You don’t look happy, Dick,” Bruce said.

Dick sighed. Of all the days Bruce had to pick today to start being a parent again. “I’m not,” he replied, throwing his bag on one of the chairs in the hall and crossing his arms over his chest.

“Why? Is it about me and John?”

“Not everything in my life is about you and John!” Dick exploded. He had had a shitty day at school and all he wanted to do was go to his room and wallow in self-pity.

“Dick-” Bruce said and took a step closer.

“Don’t,” Dick warned. He wasn’t in the mood to be hugged.

“What is wrong?”

“You left me in a foreign country for a year. A country, a city that was so freaking liberal it was a dream come true once you got used to it. You gave me all the freedom and then you took it away.”

“You want to go back to Germany?” Bruce asked. He looked confused.

“I want to be able to talk about boys, like I talk about girls, without people sneering at me or making me want to punch them for their comments!”

“Should I expect a call from the principal?” Bruce asked. There was something in his voice that Dick didn’t like.

“Are you already blaming me?” He hissed.

“I’m not blaming you, Dick.”

“It sounds awfully like you do,” Dick replied.

“Why are you angry at me?” Bruce asked.

“Because you’re selfish and because you fucked my life up because you couldn’t deal with your attraction to John. And we both know he could do better than you,” Dick said. Shit. He hated it when he got so angry and spiteful with Bruce. Now it made sense. He was jealous. Had always been jealous. “Shit,” he said raking one hand through his hair.

“Dick. I didn’t know you felt that way.”

“I made myself clear on several occasions Bruce. Before you sent me away. And let’s face it: you have no idea who I am. What kind of person I have become, because we haven’t spoken in a year.”

“You didn’t want to speak-”

“You LEFT me in GERMANY!”

Bruce took a breath. Dick waited. He had no idea what he was waiting for, but Bruce liked to have the last word. “We talked when you came back. We talked about-”

“You and John, and the fact that I saw you two fucking in the study.”

“I told you not to use that word.”

“John uses it. Besides I told you that I don’t care. It certainly looked like fucking to me: hot, hard, messy-”

“Dick!”

“I feel,” Dick said, “That everything you do is in some way about John. Not about me at all. We talked about me seeing you two getting it on, true, but even that was about you two. You know I want the best for John. I’ve always only wanted John to have everything he wanted. So it was really a no brainer that I would give my fucking blessing!”

Bruce blinked. “Are you afraid I will hurt John?”

“Yes,” Dick said. He had no idea how they got from a conversation about his shitty day at school to this soul-searching something in the middle of the freaking hallway.

“I love John,” Bruce replied quietly.

Bam, Dick thought. Well that was how it felt like when you lost the last bit of hope then. “I hope you tell him that. I hope you let him know in all the ways you let my parents know,” Dick said.

Bruce nodded and then took another step forward. Dick sighed and Bruce grabbed him by the neck and pulled him into a hug.

Bruce smelled like himself, with just the faintest hint of John. Dick would have to get used to that or he would go crazy. And mean. He didn’t want to be a mean, jealous person all the time. He didn’t like that person.

~+~

Dick was staring into the water in the pool. His feet dangling, his toes brushing the surface now and then. He missed Amanda. He let his head fall back and closed his eyes, breathed slowly.

He had dreamt about that time they went to Bruce’s Private Island. In his dream he had been older, but John had been the same. He had been tired and John had helped him strip. He had felt Bruce at the edges of the room, watching them and then John had kissed his shoulder and –

“You look…flushed,” John said, sitting down next to him.

“Uhm…”

“Ah,” John said, nudging his ribs with an elbow gently. “You had a fantasy.”

“Well…” Dick replied.

“Wanna tell me about it?”

Dick didn’t like to lie to John. “I had a dream last night about two hot men and I was the focus of their attention,” Dick replied. He could feel the flush spread over his skin.

“And you were thinking about that dream right now?”

“Yeah,” Dick said.

“Some dream you had-” John stopped.

Dick knew he had wanted to finish that sentence with ‘kiddo’. He appreciated that John hadn’t. “I know. NO idea where it came from.”

“Probably sexual frustration. You’ve been having sex on a pretty regular basis for the last year with Amanda,” John shrugged. “Happened to me when I stopped sleeping with Lucas too.”

“Thanks John,” Dick said.

“What for?”

“Don’t know. Not freaking out about me dreaming about being the filling in a man-sandwich?” He grinned.

John groaned. “Shut up…you’re giving me a hard-on.”

Dick grinned wider and then he pushed John into the pool. “Should cool down then.”

John grabbed his foot and yanked hard. Dick landed in the pool with a loud splash. The water was pleasantly warm. He dunked his head and then stripped out of his clothes. “I see, you aren’t afraid of skinny dipping anymore,” John commented.

“I’m a whole new boy,” Dick replied and John laughed. It felt good to be here with John. It was good to hear him laugh.

Maybe Dick could do this after all.


	4. Chapter 4

**~Three~**

John floated on his back, loving how the water caressed him and he smirked when he felt a heated gaze searing his skin. “Are you going to stare at me all night or join me?” John questioned as he glanced over to see Bruce standing at the edge of the pool, watching him closely. 

Bruce snorted, “I wasn’t sure you wanted company.” 

“Of course I do,” John smiled as he ducked under the water and resurfaced near the edge. “Didn’t you hear? It’s our honeymoon.” 

“It is?” Bruce raised a brow as John reached out and traced his fingers over Bruce’s toes. 

“Yep,” John tugged on the hem of Bruce’s pants. “Come join me… or I will have no other choice.” 

Bruce laughed, shaking his head. “Are you going to make me?”

John flashed him a wicked smile. “Yes.” 

“Very well,” Bruce slowly discarded his clothes and John bit back a moan of desire as he watched him. Bruce dove into the water, he was so graceful and masculine that it took John’s breath away and he instantly pulled Bruce against him as he surfaced. 

“God, you’re so fucking hot,” John breathed against his lips as he kissed him, needing Bruce with every fiber of his being. After the talk of a man sandwich with Dick and the water stimulating him, he was so fucking horny.

Bruce wrapped his arms around John, pulling him flush against him, the water splashing against them as they moved. “Of course.” 

John snorted, “Billionaire playboy.”

Bruce laughed and John loved hearing him laugh… every time it touched his heart more. Bruce was so open with him now, it was refreshing and it made him think that maybe, just maybe this would last forever. Sometimes he couldn’t believe how lucky he was, that he finally had Bruce in his life.

“You love it,” Bruce teased and John’s heart skipped a beat.

“I do,” John rubbed against him, his erection hard and eager for Bruce’s touch. “I want you.” 

“You’re insatiable,” Bruce kissed him, dragging his hands down his slick sides and John bucked his hips against Bruce’s. 

“It is our honeymoon,” John pointed out and was rewarded with another searing kiss as John wrapped his legs around Bruce’s waist.

Bruce took him hard and fast and John was practically glowing when he came. He didn’t think he’d ever be tired of being intimate with Bruce… every time it felt new and so fucking good. 

John slumped against him, humming into Bruce’s neck as they just wadded in the water as they came down from their orgasms. “I really love this pool,” John mused.

“Just the pool?” Bruce breathed as he ran his fingers through John’s damp hair. 

“You, Dick…” John’s voice faltered slightly as his thoughts returned to Dick and he felt a little guilty for enjoying sex with Bruce in the pool only an hour after Dick had left him for bed.

Bruce rubbed his arm. “Is he okay?” He questioned and John reluctantly nodded, not really sure. 

“I just get the feeling he’s hiding something… he seems to be happy for us, but there’s just something off.” John sighed. “It’s a lot to take in, ya know? A new year at school, we’re together...and I bet he’s missing Amanda too.” 

“Do you think a visit with Amanda would help?” 

John shrugged as he pulled away slightly, “Maybe?” John kissed Bruce’s brow. “But don’t do anything drastic and let Dick have a say in it. Okay?” John wasn’t about to have Bruce whisk Dick off to Germany again without Dick’s say in it. “He’s sixteen, let him have a voice in his future.”

Bruce grunted. 

“I know you think you were doing what you thought was best, but you were just being fucking selfish.” John pressed a finger against Bruce’s lips as he was about to protest. “Don’t.”

“You’re never going to let that go, are you?”

John shook his head. “Nope, that just wouldn’t be me.” 

Bruce snorted and pulled John into another kiss. “Let’s go to bed.”

~+~

John had to drag himself out of bed and he groaned as he made his way down to the kitchen. He cursed under his breath as he attempted to tie his shoe for the third time and he finally got it… it was way too early and he knew he should have refrained from a second round of sex, but he couldn’t help himself. He was going to greedily take whatever Bruce gave him and when he dropped to his knees in front John… he was a goner. 

“Coffee, Master John?” 

John nodded, “Thanks, Al.”

Alfred gave him a small smile as he poured him a cup of coffee just like he liked it. “Would you like some breakfast?” 

John’s stomach growled as if on cue. “I really shouldn’t, I’m cutting it close as it is.” 

“Nonsense, you can’t serve the city without a decent breakfast, Master John.” 

“I wouldn’t put it past you to tie me to the chair until I did,” John laughed as he sipped his coffee. 

“I do have my ways.” 

John snorted; oh, he was sure Alfred did. John wasn’t about to turn down a homemade breakfast from Alfred. 

“What are you doing here?” 

John blinked, looking over at Dick as he entered the kitchen… he sounded almost angry. Before he could think to comment, Alfred was placing a plate of food in front of him and for Dick. 

“Good morning, Master Dick. Would you like milk or juice with your breakfast?”

Dick pursed his lips and rubbed at his face. He suddenly looked so young and lost and John’s heart ached. “Can I have my special tea?” He asked instead as he plopped down across from John. 

“What makes it so special?” John asked as he took a bite of his meal. 

Dick shrugged, but John noted the slight flush on his cheeks. John had a sneaking suspicion that it had something to do with Amanda. “You didn’t answer my question,” Dick replied instead as he stabbed his fork into his waffle. 

“It seemed pretty obvious to me,” John mused as he studied Dick, an uneasy feeling creeping over his stomach and he was no longer hungry. “I thought you were okay with me and Bruce being together.” 

“Miranda didn’t stay overnight.”

John wasn’t sure how to reply to that… and for the first time he felt awkward with Dick. This wasn’t what he wanted at all. “Oh.” He stood up, glancing over at Alfred. “Thanks for breakfast, I gotta go.” And darted down the hall… he just needed some fresh air. 

“John!” Dick suddenly called out after him and John closed his eyes, pausing mid step.

“Yeah?”

Dick practically tackled him to the ground in a massive hug and John immediately relaxed into his touch and hugged him back. “Sorry.” Dick muffled into John’s shirt and John wasn’t sure what he was apologizing for.

John sighed, “I’m so confused, kid-” John bit his lip, he was really trying to respect Dick’s wishes but it was so hard not to call him kiddo. “I thought you were okay with us.”

“I am,” Dick rushed to say, but John knew there was a huge but that still went unspoken. 

“Then what is it?” 

Dick wouldn’t look at him and he suddenly felt so tense and John was even more confused… they were always so open with each other. “It’s hard seeing you together, when-” Dick confessed, inhaling sharply as he cut himself off and buried his face against John’s chest.

“When you’re miserable because you had to leave Amanda?” John filed in, hoping that was all it was. 

Dick nodded, “Yeah.” 

John pressed a kiss to the top of Dick’s head. “Would you like it if Bruce arranged for her to visit?”

“Really?” Dick looked up and John was surprised at the sadness in his eyes. 

John wasn’t used to this at all. “I’ll talk to Bruce, okay? We’ll work something out.” 

Dick gave him a weak smile. “Okay.”

~+~

“What the fuck, Bruce?” John growled into the phone. “You just left the fucking country without even saying anything to me?” John was fuming and he hated that he sounded like the overbearing, jealous partner in the scenario. This wasn’t him and he hated this gnawing feeling. But this was beyond ridiculous. 

“John-”

“Don’t even attempt to make what you did remotely okay. All you had to say was that you had a business trip and I would have been fine… I shouldn’t have found out your fucking itinerary from Alfred of all people!!” 

“It was unexpected,” Bruce tried to argue, but John didn’t believe him for a moment. 

“Right, it was so unexpected that you couldn’t have picked up your damn phone and call me? You’re a fucking billionaire with his own private jet. Don’t fucking bullshit me.” 

“Language,” Bruce stressed and John wanted to come through the phone and throttle him. 

“You better not be in Germany or I swear to god, I’ll hurt you. You agreed to talk to Dick, to me about this…” The silence on the other end of the line was all the answer he needed. “Fuck you.” 

“John-”

“No, no. When are you going to learn that you can’t just do shit like this?” John inhaled, rubbing his neck. When John had left this morning, he was so full of hope and promise and now all he felt was hurt and betrayed, lost…so many emotions bubbled up inside him that he didn’t know what to do with them, so he let the angry little boy out.

“There was no other choice, Dick-”

“Right. Dick. This has nothing to do with Dick, it’s your fucked up selfish way of dealing with anything. Don’t I mean anything to you?” John snapped. “Or was I just a convenient fuck? This isn’t how a relationship is supposed to be like… we’re supposed to talk and make plans like this together. We were supposed to talk…” he sighed as tears stung his eyes. “I was so fucking delusional to actually think that this would fucking work.”

John hung up, not waiting for a response… he wasn’t feeling very rational and he left his phone ringing on the bed that he had shared with Bruce that morning. He was fucking hopeless, John should have known nothing had really changed.

He dragged his fingers through his hair and then he rushed into the hall, cursing when he bumped into Dick at the door. 

Dick’s look of amusement faded as he studied John and he frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” John snipped and he immediately regretted it. He sighed, unable to focus on anything but the fact that his phone was still ringing. “Sorry.”

Dick glanced past him and into the room, “Aren’t you going to answer your phone?” 

“Nope.” 

Dick raised a brow, “Okay…” he paused, tilting his head slightly and offering him a small smile. “Want some Gypsy Magic?”

“Fuck, yeah.” John wrapped his arm around Dick and buried his face into his neck for just a few seconds, needing this moment. “Lead the way.”

~+~

They were on their second bowl of ice cream, when John glanced over at Dick. “Do you think I’m delusional?”

“What?” Dick frowned. “No.”

“I wanted the happily ever after,” he whispered. “I should have known better.” 

“But the story isn’t over yet,” Dick mused and it gave John a glimmer of hope. “It’s a tale as old as time…” Dick’s voice was light, teasing… almost sing-song like in a familiar Disney tune they knew pretty well. 

John laughed aloud. “If Bruce is the Beast, does that make me Belle?” 

Dick smiled brightly as he nodded his head. “Yep.” 

“You spend way too much time with Lumière.” John teased back. 

“Does that make me Cogsworth?” Dick grinned, licking his spoon. 

“Nope, Chip.” 

Dick laughed, “We should call them and have a musical marathon!”

John groaned, but maybe that’s what he needed to get out of this funk and just maybe it’ll help Dick too. “Yeah, let’s do that.” 

~+~

An hour later they were all curled up on the sofa, watching Disney movies. It was exactly what John needed to take his mind of Bruce… well, mostly. He may have overreacted a bit. However, he still wished Bruce wouldn’t have acted so selfishly. Maybe one day, Bruce would see him more as a partner than just someone he shared his bed with.

They were on their third movie when John winked over at Dimitri as he leaned in and kissed Lucas. It wasn’t filled with heat and passion like they once were, but it was loving and everything he needed at the moment. 

“Hey, what about me?” Dick gasped, sounding almost offended and John pulled away from Lucas and grinned at him. 

“Just saving the best for last,” John smiled and leaned in and kissed Dick too.


	5. Chapter 5

**Four**

Dick knew he shouldn’t have savored the kiss, shouldn’t have grabbed John’s arm a bit too hard and he knew he shouldn’t have (above all fucking things) kissed back, but he couldn’t help himself. That was the truth. He couldn’t help himself as John’s soft lips touched his.

John gasped and a soft moan escaped Dick’s lips, and then John pulled back and laughed nervously. Dick opened his eyes and made himself let go of John’s arm. He shouldn’t do this anymore. Because it had been bliss and now he felt like someone had stolen all his happiness from his heart.

“Damn…” John said, looking at him.

“I told you,” Dick said with a grin (that didn’t feel too real), “I am not a kid anymore.”

And John laughed and leaned in, but only ruffled his hair like he didn’t know…what to do?

“Dick,” Lucas said, “Help me in the kitchen?”

“Yeah, sure,” Dick answered and got up.

Lucas grabbed the empty bowl and a plate.

“Bring coffee!” Dimitri yelled after them.

“I’m not your goddamned wife!” Lucas yelled back and smiled as Dimitri laughed saying something no doubt sexy in Russian.

“You like him a lot, hmm?” Dick asked as he watched the butter and oil in the pan. Lucas was playing with the corn.

“Yeah, I do,” he looked at Dick then. Dick could feel it: hot and searching. “Dick are you-”

“Am I what?” Dick hissed, because he knew what Lucas wanted to ask, he knew.

“In love with John?”

Dick inhaled sharply. He had never once said it out loud and he usually didn’t make it a habit to even think these words in the privacy of his head. Hearing them hurt and was freeing at the same time.

He nodded, not trusting his own voice. He waited, but he didn’t know what for. They have been here before. He had talked to Lucas about how much in love with, how hopelessly gone John was for Bruce. Lucas could only tell him the same fucking thing and Dick knew that. He knew that. He could feel his breathing getting irregular and his eyes were stinging and then Lucas switched off the stove and he was there in Dick's personal space and Dick buried his head in Lucas’ shirt and let the tears spill and be soaked up by the soft fabric.

“Oh, Dick,” Lucas said gently.

“I didn’t know. I didn’t realize until I saw them-”

“You saw them?” Lucas asked.

“Fuck. I saw them fucking in the study. I mean… and then I knew. It just hit me that all this time I have been in love with him and I can’t ever tell him and it’s tearing me up, because he keeps asking!” Dick hissed. It was, thank god, mostly muffled by Lucas’ chest. And the kitchen was far away enough from the media room to not be overheard. 

“He knows that you’re hiding something, Dick. He knows you.”

“I can’t tell him. I can’t tell Bruce and I get angry at Bruce for all kinds of things and I’m mean, Lucas. I don’t want to be mean.” He took a deep breath and looked up at Lucas’ handsome face. “You are a better person than me. You loved him anyway. You were never jealous. You encouraged him to be with Bruce-”

“You’re encouraged him too,” Lucas said gently. “You’re still doing it in fact, Dick.” 

“I want him to be happy, and Bruce,” Dick replied, “But it’s just so hard to see them together and sometimes all I can think about is what they’re up to and if he makes the same noises for Bruce he made for me that one time. And it’s fucked up and I get hard over it and then there is Amanda and we promised to try-” he took another breath and clung harder to Lucas’ shirt. He needed to get it all out now. He needed to do it, because who the hell knew when a chance to let it out would come again?

Lucas grabbed his neck and pulled him against his chest again. Dick just breathed and Lucas let him. Didn’t tell him that everything would be okay either.

They both knew that this love of theirs was pretty much hopeless.

“You can call me any time to talk, or come over so we can wallow in pity and cry,” Lucas said gently ruffling his hair.

“Thank you,” Dick replied, looking up and smiling at him.

Lucas bent down and kissed his forehead and then lips. It was a soft and nice kiss, but it didn’t leave Dick with that tingly feeling in his ribcage. That desire for more, that need to just roll over and have John touch him whichever way he wanted.

“We should finish the popcorn and go back before John comes looking for us,” Lucas said.

Dick stepped back. “Okay.”

~+~

John gave them a look as they came back, but didn’t comment. Dick had cleaned up as best he could, but he was sure John had noticed that his eyes were a bit red.

He pulled Dick into his arms and didn’t let go of him until the end of the movie. Dick enjoyed the warmth of his body and the closeness.

It would get better. He knew it. Just now he felt raw, but it would get better with time. Once he had dealt with this attraction. Once Amanda and he had talked.

And he had Lucas too. He could always go to him when things should become too much.

~+~

“You were crying in the kitchen,” John said, his thumb stroking the delicate skin under Dick's eye. Dick made himself relax into it, instead of flinching like he wanted to.

“Stupid me. And I wanted to make you feel better today,” Dick replied with a smile, but it felt forced and fake on his face.

“Don't,” John said, sharply.

Dick did flinch then and stepped back. Already missing John's subtle warmth. “I-,” he swallowed. “I'm sorry,” he settled on.

“Dick. God!” And John hit the wall hard and then shook his hand out. “What is going on? Because I know something is going on, don't even try to bullshit me. You were crying in the kitchen and Lucas saw it. How can he be the one to see it? How can he be the one you open up to? When it has always been me, when I have...when we were so fucking close.” He took a breath. “Fuck, Dick! I’m upsetting Bruce when I sleep in your bed. I am-”

“You don't have to anymore,” Dick hissed.

“I didn't mean it that way! And that is another thing. I never know what will set you off these days. I never...it's like living with a ticking bomb and-” he stopped again.

“I meant it,” Dick said a bit calmer and quieter. Firmer.

“What?”

Dick looked him in the eyes. It would be better this way. It would be easier – with time. Dick was sure. “I don't think you should sleep in my bed anymore. You belong to Bruce now and you should spend the nights with him.”

“Dick-”

“I can smell him on you. I can smell the sex you had and it's-” he didn't finish that sentence because he didn't know how. That was a lie. He did know how to finish it. He wanted to finish it with the word 'torture'.

“I didn't think you would be grossed out by it-”

“I'm not, but,” Dick sighed. “You're with Bruce,” he stressed.

“I don't understand-”

“That's alright, John. It's enough when you respect my wishes.”

John looked like he wanted to punch the wall again, or Dick. “Fuck!”

“I'm sorry I'm messed up right now,” Dick said. “And I'm sorry I ruined the movie night that should have cheered you up.”

John grabbed him so fast Dick had no chance to get tense or step away. He melted into John's chest, because this was what he wanted. This felt natural.

“Whatever is going on in that head of yours, you should know you can come to me and we can talk about it,” John whispered.

Dick nodded. He knew that. “I know.”

“But you won't come to me with this,” John concluded.

“No, John. I won't,” Dick answered honestly.

He wanted to be honest with John whenever he could afford it.

“But this is okay, right?” John asked.

“Yes. This is okay,” Dick sighed.

John kissed his head and Dick enjoyed it more than he should. It would be alright with time. The pain would leave and he would feel normal again. The same happened after his parents died. It was hard for a while, but then the normal day to day routine took over and the pain slipped away.

~+~

“Dick,” Bruce said emerging from the shadows. Dick had been used to this once upon the time, but right now it nearly gave him a heart attack.

“Don’t do that,” he replied, trying to calm his heart. “Also, hi, you’re back.”

“Sorry, force of habit,” Bruce said with a small smile. It was mostly in his voice. “Yes, I am. And before you ask, yes I spoke to John already.”

Dick relaxed further. “You got used to no one being here?”

“John came by nearly every day-”

“And you were watching him,” Dick interrupted.

“I couldn’t help myself,” Bruce admitted.

Yeah, Dick knew how that felt. “You wanted to talk?”

“Yes, maybe in the office?” Bruce asked.

“Library,” Dick answered, because he felt more comfortable there. It was only natural as Bruce’s office was the room he saw John and Bruce fuck. He couldn’t deal with being there and the memories it brought to mind. At least not right now. 

Bruce nodded and led the way. Dick was watching him, he sure as hell felt it but let Dick study him anyway. He seemed happier, his body language was lighter, younger, Dick couldn’t really find the words, but it reminded him of the way Bruce used to be with his parents. Open and ready to take on whatever would come his way.

~+~

Dick sat down in the comfy chair. He was too big now to curl up in it like he used to, but that was okay.

“I know that something is going on and I think it’s because you miss Amanda and your life back in Berlin, so I flew to Germany and arranged a visit. She will come over next weekend,” Bruce said.

Dick nodded. He did miss Amanda and he needed to see her and talk with her, desperately. “Thank you.”

“Dick, John said you were unhappy and I know-” he stopped. “I used to be better at this. I used to be better with you-”

“When my parents were around. I know. I remember,” Dick said softly.

“I love you, Dick, and I want you to be happy and if there is anything I can give you to make that happen, I will,” Bruce said.

Dick nodded. “The feeling is mutual,” he replied.

Bruce gave him a sharp look. “Dick. What is it?”

“Nothing,” Dick answered.

“That, and we both know it, is not true at all. Something is eating at you and I want to help.”

“You can’t. But I appreciate the effort,” Dick said. Bruce made a frustrated noise. “I’m sorry,” Dick said.

Bruce sighed. “I wish your mother was here.”

“Yeah, me too,” Dick said quietly.

They sat there in silence until Alfred fetched them for dinner.


	6. Chapter 6

**Five**

John was feeling angry and restless. He was still pissed at Bruce and Dick.... well, “Fuck,” he groaned as he scrubbed his face. John didn’t know what was going on in that boy’s head. And what was worse was that Dick refused to tell him. That hurt more than anything else and he really didn’t know how to handle the fact that Dick was able to tell Lucas but not him. 

So instead of hanging out with Dick, he was stewing at his apartment alone. John grabbed a beer and gulped it down. He tried not to drink too much, but right now he just wanted to drown in misery. 

He was on his third beer and he was starting to feel a little buzzed, it was the perfect distraction and he was finally starting to relax a bit. A knock at the door startled him and he got up, answering it and he was kinda hoping that it was Dick. But it wasn’t. He glared at Bruce and then slammed the door in his face. 

“John.” 

John threw the door open, “No, don’t think you can come over and make this all better. You fucked up.”

“I know,” Bruce’s voice was soft, a small rueful smile quirking up his lip. 

John’s heart skipped a beat and he groaned at how fucking easy it was for Bruce to simply smile and sweep him off his feet. “Bastard,” John hit him in the chest as Bruce’s arms wrapped around him possessively and John practically melted against him as Bruce held him close. They stood in the doorway for a moment longer before Bruce ushered them into the living room and shut the door behind them. “I hate you,” John mumbled into his chest as he moved with him.

“I highly doubt that,” Bruce smirked, his lips brushing against John’s neck. 

“Fucking bastard,” John moaned as Bruce playfully bit him, his lips searing him and his teeth grazing in a teasing fashion… just like John liked it. 

“I’m sorry,” Bruce whispered as he pulled back slightly and cupped John’s face, brushing his thumb over John’s cheek before he kissed him. 

John inhaled sharply as he forced himself to pull away. “For what?” He questioned, he needed to know exactly what Bruce was apologizing for… there was too much on the line and John wasn’t going to just stand by and let Bruce fucking walk all over the people he claimed to care for. 

Bruce glanced down at his hands. “I had forgotten.” 

“Forgotten?” John repeated as he took in Bruce’s forlorn expression; it tugged at John’s heart. And maybe, just maybe Bruce meant it. 

“What it was like to be in a relationship,” he stated and John had forgotten too, in the heat of the moment…although there was Miranda, but John had always wondered how true that relationship really was. 

“You were with Miranda, Bruce.” John argued and Bruce snorted, biting his lip and John knew he was trying to find the words to explain... John reached out to him, squeezing Bruce’s hand and giving him the encouragement to continue. 

John would wait forever for Bruce. 

“My heart was never in that relationship,” Bruce began a moment later. “I do care for Miranda and she helped me through a transition in my life…” he continued as he brought John’s fingers to his lips and kissed them. “But you’re the one that stole my heart.” 

John sucked in a quick breath, he knew that, but Bruce had yet to voice his feelings. It was almost enough… but he still ached for Bruce to say he loved him. But this… this was enough for now and he pulled Bruce into a kiss. 

Bruce smiled against his lips and then placed another kiss to John’s brow. “Can you forgive me for running off this time?”

“No,” John sighed. “Cause that’s not why I was angry with you. I know you’ll be away on business, you’ve dashed off enough times that I knew it was going to happen sooner or later. But then I was just a guest in your house and now we’re together. And I had hoped that I meant more to you than just a good fuck.” John paused, studying Bruce’s face. “What is this, Bruce? Should I just shut my mouth and offer you my ass or are we going to really do this? Cause I want to be your partner and lover, not a fucking bed warmer.” 

John’s heart stilled, he felt like he couldn’t breathe as he waited for Bruce to answer him. To officially define their relationship. The honeymoon was definitely over. 

“I’m afraid to want more,” Bruce admitted. It was enough for John and he breathed a sigh of relief and pulled him into a deep kiss. Bruce’s arms wrapped around him once more and pulled him tight against him. 

“Me too,” John confessed as he snuggled as close as he could and rested his head on Bruce’s chest. “I’ve wanted this for so long, but I’m equally afraid of fucking this up. My track record kinda sucks… but none of them were you.” 

“You’ll defiantly keep me on my toes.” Bruce chuckled, pressing his lips against John’s brow. “If you’re not willing to give up on me, I will try harder.”

John nodded, “I tend to fight for things that I want.”

“I haven’t noticed,” Bruce teased and John laughed, smacking him. 

“Shut up,” John smirked at him. “So, what were you up too in Germany?”

“I had a meeting with a client and then I arranged for Amanda to visit this upcoming weekend,” he stated as he tugged John toward the sofa. “I was doing it for Dick, I was convinced that I was doing the right thing for all.”

John sighed, sitting down and pulling Bruce down to join him. “But you should have asked, Bruce. You have a nasty habit of arranging things that you think are best...when in reality it only helps you.” 

Bruce sighed, but he didn’t deny it.

“You could have handled it differently, with me, with us…” John rubbed his head. “But right now things are still awkward with Dick, I just don’t know what’s going on in Dick’s head.”

Bruce nodded, threading his fingers with John’s. It was such an intimate gesture and John soaked it in, “I’ve noticed and why I thought bringing Amanda here would help.” 

John curled into Bruce. “He was so supportive of us before…or I thought he was. Fuck, I just. I hate this. I feel like I’m losing my best friend. He fucking told Lucas what’s going on, but not me.” 

Bruce ran his fingers through John’s hair, but didn’t add anything. But this was all John really needed, someone to listen to him and hold him.

“We kissed.” 

“What?” Bruce practically growled and John rolled his eyes. 

“I kissed Lucas too,” John added and the sudden jealousy in Bruce’s entire body was really hot and John leaned in and kissed him too. 

“Do I even want to know?” Bruce questioned as they parted. 

John shrugged, “I was angry and hurt and I kissed Lucas ‘cause I just needed to, it was a brief comfort kiss. Dimitri was there too and they were trying to cheer me up-”

“So, it’s my fault?” 

“Yes, no. God, that’s not the point.” John pulled back, “It was kinda like Dick really wanted me to see him as more than just the little boy. And for the first time I did, the kiss had some heat in it and I wasn’t expecting that.” 

“And you wonder why I never liked the two of you sleeping together… you were just too close.” 

John groaned. “You were just fucking jealous and not able to deal with what was going on between us.” He sighed, “Doesn’t matter, he told me not to… but that just feels wrong in a way. I just feel so torn, I want more than anything to sleep in your arms all night.” 

“As you should, you’re with me John… if you want this relationship, this partnership together I shouldn’t have to share my bed with-”

“Isn’t that a bit hypocritical?” John snipped, “You were with Dick’s parents. I don’t even know how you made that work, but that’s not even the same thing. Dick’s my best friend!”

Bruce grunted, “You were his first, John.”

John closed his eyes, “That was different too, god. Don’t you fucking get that he was just curious and I wanted him to try that with someone that loved him. I didn’t want him to get hurt like I did.” 

Bruce tensed, “You said that before, hurt like you…who hurt you, John?”

John felt himself pale at the question and he clenched his fists… he’s never actually talked about it and he wasn’t about to start now. “It’s in the past. Just leave it there.” 

But the look on Bruce’s face was intense, and John’s heart skipped a beat. This was the Batman John craved to unravel… but that was another layer that he wasn’t sure they’d get past. He couldn’t help himself and he leaned in and kissed Bruce with all the passion and intensity he felt from that simple look. 

“John,” Bruce began as they parted and John knew he wanted to push, but John pressed his fingers to his lips. 

“I love that you care, but I was strong and angry boy. I moved past it and I’m not ready to share it just yet,” John began. “I’m worried about Dick. We need to focus on him, he’s just so unhappy and he’s pushing me away… maybe, maybe he’ll talk to you.” 

Bruce rubbed his arm down John’s back. “I’m not very good at that...but I will try. I love him as my own son.” 

John smiled, “Maybe that’s all you need to start with. Support him, love him. I know I do, we’ll work past this.” 

Bruce kissed him once more and they just shared in each other’s love and warmth and John felt so much better. They parted far too soon, but Bruce needed to go back to the manor and talk with Dick. John would swing by later, because John knew he wouldn’t be able to stay away from him. 

~+~

“I’m not telling you anything,” Lucas snorted as he sipped his coffee. “So you might as well stop giving me that pathetic look.”

John groaned. “It’s not…” he rubbed his cheek. “Come on, Lucas… Does he hate me now or something?”

“No, far from it.” Lucas squeezed John’s arm. “He just needs time to adjust.”

“But it’s been a few years, if you really think about it.” 

“John.”

“Okay, fine.” John sighed, swirling the coffee in his cup and just staring at the brown liquid. “Amanda’s plane lands in a few hours… I hope her presence helps.” He chewed on his lip as he glanced over at Lucas. “Have you talked to him lately?”

Lucas shook his head. “No, I haven’t.” 

John frowned, tossing the coffee away. “I’m glad he has you at least.” Which was mostly true, but his heart still ached at the thought that Dick couldn’t, wouldn’t confide in him.

“But you’re upset that he can’t tell you just yet.” Lucas squeezed John’s shoulder. 

“So you think he’ll tell me eventually?” John questioned, needing to know that Dick would at least, some day. 

Lucas considered it a moment, “I do.” 

John breathed a sigh of relief. “Good.” 

~+~

John arrived just as Alfred was pulling in and he quickly parked his car and got out. “Hey!” He waved over at Amanda.

“Hello, John.” She smiled and John couldn’t help but look her over. She had really blossomed since the last time he saw her. 

“You look great,” he winked as he offered her a hug. 

Amanda took the hug and then kissed John’s cheek. “So do you, the uniform is pretty hot.” 

John smirked, running his hand down his chest. “You’re not the only one to think so.” He whispered into her ear as he caught Bruce’s gaze. 

“Are you hitting on my girlfriend?” Dick questioned, his voice a bit sharp and once more John felt awkward and pulled away as Dick wrapped his arm around her. 

“Of course he is, boyfriend.” Amanda grinned. “You have a hot girlfriend.” 

Dick smiled, “Yes, I do.” 

Dick led her into the manor and John stayed back, relaxing slightly when he felt Bruce’s hand on his back. John leaned into his touch. 

“The uniform is hot,” Bruce breathed into his ear and John shuddered, slapping Bruce’s hand away. 

“Jesus, not now.”

“I don’t think they’ll even notice our absence,” Bruce smiled. “They were talking nonstop in the car… I think it was a good move.”

John sighed with a relief. “I hope so, they did look good together.” 

“Yes, they do.”

John turned to him, taking a moment to kiss him and just soaking in his warmth. John hoped that this weekend would be good, but only time would tell… Amanda would eventually have to go back and John was worried about both of them.


	7. Chapter 7

~six~

“So, boyfriend,” Amanda said flopping down on his bed. 

“Was?” And the tone was too sharp. 

She smirked. “Speaking German again? Don’t ‘Was’ me. What was that with John?” 

“I have no idea-”

“Oh,” she said. “You figured it out.”

“I-what?” Dick asked and he was staring at her. He knew he was. 

“That you’re in love with John,” she said softly. She was playing with her hair. It was a nervous habit of hers. Dick knew it all too well. 

He wanted to deny it. He really did, but they were in a partnership and he loved her and there was no way he would lie to her about something as important as his feelings. 

“I am. In love with John,” he said out loud and it still hurt like hell. “I’m sorry.” 

“What for?” Amanda asked. 

“That I am in love with someone else.”

“Auch,” she said and then shook her head, smiling. “Too. You’re in love with him too.”

“Yes,” Dick replied. “Yes, I don’t love you less just because I am in love with him as well. I…it seems I have always been in love with him. I just didn’t realize it.” He looked at her. “How long did you know?” 

“Since Germany. Sometimes, you looked at him like you look at me,” she said, shrugging. 

“I…he was my first,” Dick whispered. He had wanted to tell her about that for some time now, but didn’t know how to breach the subject. 

“You slept with him?” 

“Not exactly, we got each other off in the pool. One time, and that was before you and I were dating.” 

She nodded. “Okay…so your water kink isn’t only due to masturbating in the shower.” She smirked and he felt lighter. 

“No, not entirely.”

“John is hot. You have excellent taste boyfriend.”

“Thank you, girlfriend.” 

She grabbed his hand and pulled him close. Kissed him gently. “And now you’re all messed up because you love him and he is finally with Bruce,” she whispered. 

“Yes, and I don’t know how to be around him. I can’t tell him. It will mess him up. He will probably blame himself because he touched my cock when I was fourteen or some bullshit.” Dick sighed. “And besides, Bruce is all messed up about how close John and I are too. If he knew that I’m in love with John, it would fuck us up even more and I have the feeling that Bruce is better now. With John around. That he is really trying to be the parent he used to be before my parents died, before his feelings for John became complicated. Things are good between them.”

“Oh, Dick,” she said and pulled him closer still, so he could bury his head in her hair. 

“You still smell like peaches,” he said and breathed her in. He missed her smell and the only thing that came close was that tea he bought in Hamburg, but that was nearly empty now too. 

“I love when you tell me that.” 

“I love you,” Dick said. 

She tightened her grip on him until it was nearly crushing. 

~+~

“I’m sorry I snapped at you yesterday,” Dick said as soon as he entered the kitchen and saw John there. He was already sipping a mug of Alfred’s great coffee. Dick knew that John had stayed the night again. He was getting used to seeing John in the mornings before he dashed off to uphold the law and order in Gotham. He just didn’t want to think too much about what John and Bruce were up to all night. 

“It’s okay,” John said. 

Dick sighed. “It’s not John. I suck lately at being your friend.” 

John smiled at him. “Happens sometimes. Joys of being a teenager.” 

Dick smiled back. “I’ll try to do better.” 

“Are you feeling better then? With Amanda around?”

“Yes,” Dick replied, but who knew how long that would last? 

“I missed you last night,” John said and Dick’s heart skipped a beat. 

“Don’t let Bruce hear such things, John. He might get the impression you’re into really kinky stuff,” Dick teased. 

John looked at him blankly for a second and then grinned. “You! But he couldn’t throw the first stone. He used to fuck two peop- Shit. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it,” John said. He looked crushed and like he was afraid Dick would explode any second. Well, fuck, Dick thought. This was what their relationship was like now. Dick didn’t like it, but wasn’t sure how to fix it just yet.

“It’s okay. I think I came to terms with my parents and Bruce being in love. I remember things clearly, but they are different now. I remember how happy we were and once we all had breakfast in bed and how my mom used to kiss my dad and Bruce when we said goodnight and how my dad and Bruce were…close in a way that felt natural, but that probably wasn’t in other people’s eyes.” 

“Dick-”

“I’m fine,” Dick said, but his voice sounded funny and he was battling tears. He missed his parents suddenly, painfully like it sometimes happened without a warning. “Bruce was happy with them. We were a family and we were happy with Bruce too.” 

John put his mug down and grabbed for Dick and Dick let John pull him in so they could hug. “We are family too, Dick.” 

“I know,” Dick replied, because he knew that and it wasn’t anyone’s fault that Dick wanted to be closer. Another kind of family than what they were right now. 

“And I love you and Bruce loves you too. And Alfred.”

“I know. I love you guys too, John,” Dick said quietly. 

John hugged him tighter and didn’t let go even after Bruce entered the kitchen. 

~+~

The weekend with Amanda was over way too fast. He wanted to cling to her and smell her hair and touch her soft skin. Lick her nipples, because it made her moan in that certain way. 

She smiled at him on the way to the airport and held his hand tightly. 

“I love you,” she said. 

“I know,” Dick replied and kissed her. It was too hard a kiss and left her breathless. She smirked. 

“Now, my parents know for sure that we have had sex,” she said. 

Dick laughed. “Your parents aren’t idiots, and they like me,” Dick replied. 

She nodded and then kissed him again. Like in the movies. He knew that after she was gone he would feel her loss even more acutely. 

~+~

Dick was tossing and turning and couldn’t sleep. The bed felt too big and it only faintly smelled of Amanda now. 

He closed his eyes tightly and counted to ten and then hundred. 

The door to his bedroom never made a noise, but Dick always knew when someone opened it. “I know you said you don’t want me sleeping in your bed anymore, but Amanda is gone and-”

Dick threw the blanket aside and made room in his bed. He didn’t need to hear the rest. He was glad that John came. He didn’t even care what Bruce was thinking about it. He curled into John’s chest as soon as John laid down beside Dick. 

“Thank you,” Dick said. 

John kissed the top of his head and Dick suppressed a moan, even if he couldn’t suppress the shiver. 

“Are you alright?” John asked, because of course he had picked up on it. 

“Better with every second,” Dick replied and kissed his neck, because it was there and because he wanted to. It was just a quick press of his lips, but it made John relax in a way that was – at least to Dick, and maybe to Bruce as well – interesting. “This does it for you?” He asked in a whisper. 

“Amongst other things,” John said. 

“What things?” 

“What is this about?” John asked. 

Dick didn’t want to lie, but he couldn’t tell the truth either. Not the whole truth. “I might be…I might like another person. A guy,” he said softly. 

“Oh,” John replied. “Did you talk with Amanda about it?” 

“Yeah,” Dick said. 

“And you guys are okay?” 

“Yes, we are.” 

“Was this why you went to Lucas and not me? Because you thought…did you think I would judge? Just because I am more of a one guy at a moment type of boy?” 

“Not judge,” Dick said. “But sometimes it seems like you can’t wrap your head around the concept of being with two people at the same time. You broke it off with Lucas so he could be with Dimitri only.” 

“I broke it off because he deserves better-”

“Than you?” Dick interrupted. 

John sighed. “I know you think I am the best thing to ever have happened to you, but I am just a human being, Dick.” 

Dick snuggled closer. “I know that you are human, John. You are still the best thing that has happened to me since my parents died. You and Amanda.” 

“Okay. I won’t argue with that,” John replied lightly. There was a smile in his voice. “So…you have feelings for a guy now.” 

“Yeah…and I want to do things with him too.” 

“What does Amanda say about that?” 

Dick bit his lip. They didn’t talk about it because it was no use. John was with Bruce. There was no way he could act on his feelings. “In theory she thinks: gleiches Recht für alle.”

“What?” 

“Same rights for everyone,” Dick said, smiling. 

“Ah, so if she finds someone else she has strong feelings for, she will be allowed to act on them, yes?” 

“Yes,” Dick said. 

“And you want to act on these feelings for that boy?” 

“Very much, but it’s complicated.” 

“I feared it would be,” John replied. “And you’re messed up about it.” 

“I am and it’s hard to see you and Bruce, and to know you can act on those feelings and know things-”

“Things?”

“Yeah, like how to touch and how to suck cock. How to please another man,” Dick said. 

“You will figure this out, Dick. Like you did with Amanda.” 

“I asked Miranda for pointers before I slept with Amanda,” Dick admitted. 

“Oh…okay.” 

“I like to have a plan. A vague clue,” Dick said. 

“You can ask me any time, Dick.” 

“Thanks, but…I just might ask Lucas instead, because-”

“I am with Bruce and he is like your dad,” John said. 

“Yes and because I think he would freak out for good, if he knew you’re giving me pointers on how to suck cock.” 

John laughed and Dick could feel it in his whole body. “Sleep now, Dick.”

“Okay,” Dick whispered and closed his eyes. He listened to John’s breathing until he fell asleep.


	8. Chapter 8

~seven~

“Do I have too?” John knew he was whining, but he really hated wearing suits. And fancy galas. And this celebration always felt wrong to him. The Harvey Dent day… many celebrated it for what the Dent Act did for the city, but to him it was the reminder that the Batman went into hiding. He still had so many questions about that night, but he knew that he may never learn the truth.

Bruce smiled against his lips, kissing him once more, distracting him. Damn him. John lost himself in the kiss and clung to Bruce for fear that he wouldn’t be able to stand, “I wanted to show you off as my date.”

Date?

John’s eyes widened, his breathing hitched ever so slightly at the thought of being on Bruce’s arm. “You want to take me?”

“Yes.”

“Then everyone will know,” John breathed, not able to believe that Bruce was willing to take this very public step and make them official in Gotham’s elite society.

“I know,” Bruce gave him that rare smile that he only used for special occasions, like this. But there was something else: a sadness lingered in his eyes.

John’s elation faded slightly as he tugged on Bruce’s tie. “What is it?”

“I want this to be different…” he whispered and his voice trembled slightly and John knew he was talking about Mary and Jon. “We thought,” he paused and John didn’t push, he waited at Bruce’s side, knowing how hard it was for Bruce to talk about his feelings. “We had time… I never…”

John suddenly understood why this date symbolized more than his introduction as Bruce’s date. This was so much more. John leaned in, shutting him up with a kiss. “I’d love to go to the celebration with you.”

Bruce smiled, “Good.”

John’s heart skipped a beat, this was a big step and it was exciting. “Yeah.”

“Then you will be needing a new suit, Master John.” Alfred stated from the doorway and John snorted.

“I knew there was a catch.”

Bruce laughed and John soaked it in, it sounded so good to his ears. He would never tire of hearing the sound of Bruce’s laughter. “Alfred has everything arranged, they just need to measure you.”

John blinked, “A tailored suit?”

“Yes,” Bruce leaned in and kissed him softly.

“It’ll be a fine addition to your wardrobe, Master John.” Alfred smiled as he waited for John to join him.

John simply nodded, shaking his head, he’d do anything for Bruce. “Yeah, okay.”

~+~

John stood in front of the mirror, he didn’t recognize himself… he almost looked legit. The suit fit him like a glove and it cost more than his first year of college. It was insane, he still couldn’t believe that he was able to move from the streets of Gotham to this.

“You look amazing,” Bruce’s voice was husky, laced with lust and John wanted Bruce to rip off his very expensive suit and fuck him instead of going to the party. “The suit is impeccable on you.”

John groaned and turned to him, “It’ll look even better on the floor.” John teased as he fiddled with his tie. He was still not a fan of these damn things and he had the hardest time tying it correctly.

Bruce smirked, “Later.”

“Promise?” He grinned as Bruce tugged on John’s tie and retied it.

“Promise,” Bruce smirked, running his hand down John’s chest and then he sealed it with a breathtaking kiss.

John moaned into his mouth, barely able to catch his breath as Bruce pulled away and offered his arm instead. John readily accepted it, leaning into him as he led the way.

“Is Dick joining us?” John questioned as they walked down the stairs.

“I’m sure he will,” Bruce chuckled. “He’s gone every year, even when I haven’t attended… he can’t seem to help himself.”

John smiled, he knew Dick loved big parties. “He loves showing off.” The circus brat.

“Yes, he does.”

The celebration was in full swing when they arrived and he smiled as he caught a glimpse of Dick who was already milling around. Always the performer. Dick stopped in his tracks and stared at him, his eyes bright and warm. And there was something else John couldn’t quite name.

“Damn,” Dick gasped as he crossed over to them. “You look so good.”

“Thanks,” John smirked, pulling him into a hug. “How’s the party?”

“Amazing,” Dick breathed as his lips brushed against John’s neck and then he abruptly pulled away. “Gotta mingle, ya know?” He winked and dashed off.

“He really shines in a crowd,” John remarked when the first socialite bombarded them and John forced a smile to his face.

John had thought it would be easier, being at Bruce’s side… but it was worse, everyone was watching him, whispering about him. He was Bruce Wayne’s date and nothing more. He wanted more than anything to hide back upstairs.

“How are you doing?” Bruce questioned about an hour in, his hand rubbing the small of John’s back as he leaned in, pressing his lips to his brow.

“Okay, I guess.” John shrugged, trying to play it off.

“Liar,” Bruce smirked.

John sighed, letting the mask he was wearing fall momentarily. “I don’t think they like me.”

“Nonsense.”

“Bruce.” John rubbed his neck, glancing over the room. Commissioner Gordon was speaking but he barely heard his words. “I’m not used to everyone staring at me, talking about me… they don’t think I’m good enough for you.”

“It’s more like I’m not good enough for you,” Bruce smiled, his words making John’s heart skip a beat and he felt his cheeks flush.

“Now that’s fucking nonsense.” John chuckled, wrapping his arms around him. “You’re the only one for me.”

“Good,” Bruce leaned in and kissed him and John’s heart raced, this was their first PDA and it cemented them in society for good. In fact, John didn’t ever remember Bruce kissing anyone like this in public… it made him feel amazing and wanted.

John smiled as they parted, “Good.”

“You’re free to go upstairs, I know how straining this is on you.” Bruce remarked, glancing over the crowd.

“Thanks,” he grinned.

Bruce nodded, squeezing his hand and pressing a kiss to his brow. He turned to mingle once more and John escaped up the stairs.

John paused on the landing, watching the gala for a moment and smiling as his gaze caught Bruce’s.

“You cleaned up nicely,” a familiar purr rang in his ear and John turned to see Selina, she looked stunning in a black dress.

“As do you,” he raised a brow, wondering if the pearls around her neck were hers or not. John hated that it was her sticky fingers that he thought of first… it was the cop in him. But it hadn’t always been like that. “Selina.”

She glanced over at Bruce and then leaned in and kissed John, pressing her body against his. It was shocking and he didn’t respond… he had never been into girls that way and Selina had tried to tempt him before. “Robin.”

John groaned, rolling his eyes. She was the only one that used his real name, it drove him insane. “Really?”

“You know the early bird always catches his worm,” she winked and slinked off as Bruce stormed up the stairs.

“Who was that?” He demanded, jealousy laced through his words as he grabbed John’s wrist.

“She’s one of the closest things to a sister that I have,” John shrugged. “She was in the foster system too… and she was in the first home I went too.”

Bruce’s jaw clenched, his fingers tightening on John’s wrist. “She kissed you.”

“That’s right, she kissed me… I didn’t kiss her back.” John loved the dark fury in Bruce’s eyes, he could see the Batman surfacing and it turned him on.

Bruce growled, pulling him into a heated kiss and John responded eagerly, losing himself completely as Bruce forced him back against the wall.

“Get a room!”

They jumped apart at Dick’s voice and John had a hard time focusing on him… he felt weak in his knees, barely able to draw in a breath.

“Dick,” Bruce began, but Dick rolled his eyes and pointed down at the gala still going strong below them.

Dick looked upset and he crossed his arms. “They were taking pictures and probably video of your little make out session, so just get a fucking room unless you want to see yourself on the news.”

Bruce pursed his lips, “I’ll handle it.”

John just groaned, that was one thing he never considered and he tugged at his tie. “Just great.” He turned and headed back to their room. Dick a step behind him.

“You couldn’t keep your hands to yourself for one night?” There was a bitter accusation laced under Dick’s question.

John shrugged off his jacket and started to unbutton his dress shirt. “Guess not.” He frowned, not sure why Dick was so hurt by it. “Were you offended by it?” He asked, glancing over at Dick who was studying him closely.

“No… but it was private and they- they were taking pictures and whispering and it was kinda hot.”

John smirked, ah, that was why. “It was really hot and those are the moments that you live for.” He crossed over to him and pulled Dick into his arms who tensed slightly, before he relaxed and wrapped his arms around John. “Did you learn a trick or two?”

Dick groaned, “Maybe?” He flushed, pulling away. “You like to be taken.”

John nodded, unable to deny it. “Bruce was jealous of Selina, but he has nothing to worry about…” John’s gaze caught the picture of Bruce’s parents on the dresser. His eyes lingered on the set of pearls around her neck. Suddenly, John felt a wave of dread wash over him, it was a coincidence. It had to be. But a sinking feeling settled in his gut. “Fuck.”

“What?” Dick asked as he followed John’s gaze. “It’s the same picture Bruce has everywhere.”

“The pearls, I never noticed them before.”

“Yeah, they’re locked up in the safe… It’s one of the few things he still has of his mother’s. My mom wore them, they were special. One day, maybe I’ll give them to Amanda.”

John nodded, the pit growing even more in his stomach. “Fuck.”

Dick wrinkled his brow, obviously confused.

“Tell Bruce I had to go into the station… I have to. God, I hope I’m wrong.” John rushed to change into his uniform and he left Dick in the bedroom, racing to the safe and his heart ached when he realized it was open. “Fuck.”

“So you did notice,” Bruce’s voice broke into his thoughts.

John nodded, feeling like shit. Selina was his family… “I’ll get it back.”

Bruce pulled him into his arms. “Don’t stress about it, there’s a tracker on it.”

“Oh,” John sighed with relief. “I’m sorry, Selina has always had sticky fingers.”

“It’s nothing we can’t fix.” Bruce reassured him, kissing him softly.

~+~

John looked Selina up at work, hoping to find a current address to get back the pearls for Bruce. It was the least he could do. He felt responsible.

But he never had the chance to fully investigate the file because a call came in. They had found a boy’s body in the sewers and it was their turn to head out. Ross took the lead and it wasn’t until they approached the body that John felt his whole world cease to exist.

John froze, staring at the body.

Jimmy.

John’s heart skipped a beat, he was only a few months older than Dick. Dick. John’s heart squeezed tightly and he barely made it through the day, his thoughts lingering on Dick and what he’d feel if he lost him too.

He went to St. Swithin’s and broke the news to Jimmy’s brother, Mark. And John’s talk with Mark left him with even more questions, but he had a hard time focusing on his work, the investigation. He needed to see Dick.

As soon as he entered the manor he pulled Dick into a hug and held onto him for dear life. Dick muffled something into his chest, but John didn’t let go, he couldn’t.

“John?” Dick questioned, tugging on his jacket and John loosened his hold only slightly. John couldn’t deal with the thought of losing Dick.

“I love you, you know that right?” John whispered and ran his fingers through Dick’s hair, kissing his lips lightly.

Dick gasped, cheeks flushing as he gazed at John. “Yeah, love you too.”

John nodded and tightened his hold as he gripped onto him. “Don’t you ever leave me, okay?”

“What?”

John shook his head when he suddenly felt Bruce’s hand on his shoulder and John turned into him, wrapping an arm around Bruce and kept his hold on Dick. He felt safe in their arms and he felt that maybe, just maybe everything would be okay.

“John,” Bruce prompted and John inhaled a shaky breath.

It took John a few more moments to compose himself and then he told them what had happened, Jimmy’s death affected him more than he thought it would. Dick held his hand tightly, reassuring John that he was still there… that he wasn’t going to leave him.

~+~

John took a deep breath, his heart racing as he knocked on the door. He was a little nervous, this was the first time he was coming to the manor on more of an official capacity.

He stood up a little straighter when Alfred answered the door, smiling warmly at him. “Master John. Did you forget your key?”

“Mister Pennyworth.” He began and Alfred raised a brow in curiosity. “I’m here on official business.”

Alfred nodded, “I see, Officer Blake.” There was a note of amusement in his voice, but a hint of pride as well. “What may I do for you?”

“Is Mister Wayne in?”

“I’m sorry, but Mister Wayne is not taking any unscheduled appointments. Even if it is on official business.”

John knew he might get some resistance to his request and he was ready. “And if I get a warrant into the investigation of the death of Harvey Dent? Would that still be considered an unscheduled appointment?”

Alfred’s eyes lit up and he nodded. “Very well, Officer Blake.” John couldn’t help but smile at the admiration and pride in his tone... it felt damn good.

Alfred escorted him to the study and his feeling of exhilaration faded as his nerves started to wreak havoc once more. He was unable to sit still, drumming his fingers on his leg... he needed to do something and he really wished Dick was here.

“What can I do for you Officer...” Bruce’s voice trailed off as he got a good look at him. “John?”

John nodded. “Gordon’s been shot.”

Bruce pursed his lips together, concern briefly flickering over his face before he schooled his features. “I’m sorry to hear that, but I don’t see why-”

“He chased some men down into the sewers… and when I pulled him out, bleeding to death he was mumbling about an underground army and a masked man named Bane.” John cut in, needing him to understand why he came here in more of a professional manner.

“I don’t see why you’re telling me, shouldn’t you be telling your superior officers?”

John sighed, recalling when he did just that. And how they laughed in his face… he was considered as a rookie to them and they didn’t seem to care about Gordon or Gotham. “I did.” He seethed. “They laughed, asking if he saw a fucking alligator, too.” He clenched his hands into fists. “He needs you, he needs the Batman.”

Bruce blinked, but didn’t show any other emotions on his face. “He must be really bad off if he thinks I’m-”

“He doesn’t know or care who you are…” his gaze locked with Wayne’s. “But I do.”

“John-”

“Don’t,” John urged, looking at him.

Bruce nodded, glancing away from him and John knew he was wondering whether or not to confirm what he’s always known. “When?”

John felt relief wash over him and felt his muscles start to relax. “Since the first time I saw you… you made a habit of visiting St. Swithin’s. The first time confirmed my suspicions, you had a beautiful model on your arm, a flashy car… but none of that mattered, you wore the same mask I did. Not many know what it feels like, to be so angry that you feel it in your bones…”

Bruce’s own mask slipped, revealing a calm understanding in his eyes. “Yes.”

John nodded, “We talked, the boys and I, we made up so many stories… you were the billionaire orphan. Like us, special. It was only stories to them, but to me, I knew. You were the Batman.” 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Wayne questioned and John was surprised… this was probably the most honest discussion they’ve ever had.

“It wasn’t important, I don’t know why you took the fall for Dent’s death… but I was always a believer in the Batman and I had hoped one day you’d bring him back. But you never did. And now we need you. I need you.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I became a police officer ‘cause I wanted to help, and there’s been a false sense of security on the streets, but it’s getting bad out there. This threat is real.”

“I’m retired.” Bruce stated.

John frowned, getting up and crossing over to him. He stood before him. “Bruce,” he began and Bruce sighed, wrapping an arm around him. “Just think about it… this Bane is a threat.”

Bruce nodded, “I can’t promise you anything.”

“I know,” John whispered as he kissed him. He closed his eyes, letting himself savor the kiss… it was light and teasing, but there was so much more. For the first time, he felt like this was the most open kiss they’ve ever shared. There was nothing between them anymore. No more lies. “You’re Batman.”

Bruce breathed against his lips, “Yes.”

John moaned, he’s been waiting for this moment for years. “I really hope that you come out of retirement… but if not.” John tugged on Wayne’s tie. “Just for one night, can you wear the Batsuit and fuck me until I can’t remember my name?”

“Jesus,” Bruce inhaled, digging his fingers into John’s hips. “How long have you imagined me doing that?”

“It’s been years,” John chuckled, “I thought of it often, every time I touched myself, I imagined it was you. The dark, brooding Batman… it made me so hot and horny.”

Bruce groaned and slammed their mouths together in a brutal kiss. John moaned, throwing his arms around Bruce and pulling him closer. John arched into him, his hips thrusting against him. He was hot and horny and he could feel Bruce’s length against him.

“Please,” he inhaled as they parted and John’s hands immediately went to Bruce’s pants, undoing his belt.

“John.”

John was beyond caring, everything felt so raw between them and he was suddenly wearing too much clothes. He shed his jacket and before he could take off his dress shirt, Bruce’s hands stopped him. “Huh?”

“Keep it on,” Bruce’s voice was dark and heady, it went straight to John’s cock and he moaned when Bruce pushed him back against the wall.

“Fuck me,” John shuddered as he arched, wrapping his legs around Bruce and bringing their bodies even closer together.

“I plan too.”

Bruce was cocky, sure of himself and John couldn’t get enough of him. “Then fucking do it.” John challenged and was rewarded when John’s pants were pulled down and a finger was breaching his ass. John shuddered, inhaling in a quick breath… John knew that it wouldn’t take much to prepare him, they had sex that morning.

But it had been nothing like this. It was slow, deep, morning sex… and this was needy, rough and so fucking hot. John tugged Bruce’s mouth to his and he kissed him, breathing him in and tasting him. It was times like this he couldn’t believe they finally got together.

Every day they took their relationship further, but there was always that barrier that Bruce finally put to rest. Everything was out in the open now. There were no more secrets and he felt so complete when Bruce finally slid into him. “Bruce,” John breathed against his lips, digging his fingers into Bruce’s shoulders as he slammed his hips down against Bruce’s.

It was a brutal pace… and John was in pure bliss. “John,” Bruce inhaled as he moved within him, they had never been this close before. It was clichéd, but true.

John shuddered, his orgasm ripping through him and he clamped down around Bruce’s cock, milking him until he was completely spent as well. Bruce breathed against John’s neck as he continued to hold him against the wall, kissing his skin.

John held onto him, not wanting to let go, but he knew that he had no choice. They parted and John felt empty when Bruce pulled out of him.

John was a little shaky on his feet, but he had to go back to work. “Duty calls.” He attempted to adjust his uniform and pulled on his jacket. He knew he was smiling like an idiot and he practically purred when Bruce wrapped his arms around him. “Think about it.”

“I will,” Bruce smiled against his lips, running his fingers through John’s hair. “You look thoroughly fucked.”

John laughed, feeling happy, blissful and he kissed Bruce one more time. “The Batman’s to blame… he’s a very shady character.”

Bruce chuckled. “We’ll see you for dinner?”

“Yes,” John forced himself to pull away or he wouldn’t be able to. “Someone has to work around here.”

Bruce smiled and it was so good to see a real smile on his face and not that stupid mask. “Be safe.”

John nodded, ducking out and heading back to the station. It was going to be a good night.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to our Beta, denelian for all her help!

~eight~

Dick was glued to the TV. If he could get any closer he would have, but then he wouldn’t have been able to see. 

And. God. Why didn’t he know? How could he not know this? 

It was all so clear and obvious now. 

Dick was sure his parents knew. They had to know…

He took a deep breath to calm himself down. 

“Master Dick,” Alfred said gently. 

“Bruce is Batman,” Dick replied, he didn’t look away from the news footage. “Bruce is Batman.” He repeated. 

“Master Dick maybe you’re reading-”

“Bullshit,” Dick cut in. 

“Language,” Alfred said calmly. 

“Bruce is Batman. I mean look at the moves? My dad taught him that!” 

“Master Dick-”

“Alfred,” Dick cut in and turned away from the TV to give Alfred a meaningful look. 

Alfred sighed. “Maybe you should talk about this with Master Bruce.”

“Oh, I will,” Dick said and went back to watching Batman being a danger to police and normal people. It was still, Dick had to admit, really freaking cool. 

~+~

Dick waited in the hall, in the dark, until Bruce came home. 

He didn’t switch the light on as Bruce walked through the house. He just watched and listened. 

“So…” he said and Bruce stopped dead center of the hall. “Where do you have your secret hideout?” 

“Dick, shouldn’t you be in bed?” Bruce asked. “And what are you doing here in the dark?” 

Dick was tempted to stipple his fingers together like Mister Burns, but decided against it. He looked at Bruce instead. There was something in the way he moved now. “Waiting for you, obviously,” Dick replied. 

“Dick, I had a really hard night.” 

“Oh, I know. I’ve seen you on the TV. No regards for other people on the streets. You are secretly an adrenalin junkie, aren’t you?” 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

“I don’t like when you try to lie to me, Bruce. And my dad taught you half of your moves,” Dick said.   
Bruce sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He looked tired, but also really alive, which was a strange combination. “You are the Batman and you were while you were with my parents,” Dick stated. 

“Yes,” Bruce said. 

It was kind of a surprise that Bruce just told him the truth. Dick might have been a little bit in shock.   
“And then you went into hiding for some reason, because I know you didn’t kill Harvey Dent. Was it because of me? Because my parents died and you had to take care of me?” 

“Partly,” Bruce answered as he switched on the light and dragged one of the chairs closer to where Dick was sitting. “Of course I knew that I would take you in no matter what, Dick. I loved your parents. We-” he stopped and looked away from Dick for a moment. “We had planned a life together. I wanted to be with them. I wanted to have a family with them.”

“A family?” Dick asked. Suddenly he had a feeling he maybe shouldn’t have asked. 

“Children. Mary always wanted a big family and your parents wanted you to have siblings. And I …I was warming up to that idea,” Bruce said. 

“Oh…” Dick whispered. “I would have liked that.” 

“Yeah,” Bruce said. “I know.”

“Is that why you were so against adopting John?” Dick asked. “When we were still boys?” It probably hurt too much, Dick thought. 

“You’re still a kid, Dick.”

Dick made a face at him. “Keep telling yourself that. Well, at least John never had to call you daddy…”

Bruce smirked at him. “That would have been weird. I admit.” 

Dick shrugged. He didn’t want to talk about Bruce’s and John’s sex life, actually. He was thinking too much about it as it was, anyway. Mostly when he was lying in bed at night or when he could be reasonably sure that no one would interrupt him in the pool. But he liked that Bruce was more open with him and he liked that Bruce was able to joke about it. 

“So,” Dick said. “Since you’re back to being Batman and endangering civilians on the streets of Gotham that means that something bad is happening, right?” 

“I don’t know yet, but I think that something just might be happening.” Bruce looked at him hard. “I want you to be safe, so-”

“If you’ve already gone and talked to Amanda’s dad, I will hit you,” Dick warned. 

“You have your mother’s temper,” Bruce said. “I didn’t. I do learn from my mistakes. And even if I don’t like it, the choice to stay or go to Germany until this is over, is yours. I would feel better, of course, if I could ship you and John and Alfred to Germany or a tropical island, but I won’t make you go.” 

“And where would you be in that scenario of yours?” Dick asked. 

“Here, where I’m needed,” Bruce replied. 

“You are needed with your family, Bruce. John needs you. I need you. Alfred needs you too – granted all of us need Alfred more than he needs us, but still,” Dick said firmly. 

“You won't go,” Bruce said. 

“If you were in my place you wouldn't go either. And I bet John will laugh in your face if you even try to mention it. He is, after all, a police officer.” 

“You might be right about this, I still wish you wouldn't stay. It could be dangerous.” 

Dick nodded. “I know. But you need your family, Bruce.” He got up and Bruce met him halfway in a tender, but firm hug. Dick sighed into Bruce chest, closing his eyes and breathed him in. 

“That looks cozy,” John said. 

Dick could feel Bruce smile against his forehead, but Bruce didn't let go. “You can join in any time,” Dick replied. 

“I just might,” John said and came closer. 

Dick felt happy, he felt whole with both of them, but a small part still wanted John for himself and he kinda hated himself for it, because it was selfish and...evil. But he couldn't help it. 

After a few more minutes Alfred came in and called Bruce to the phone. Dick let go of him and then of John and looked at John. He crossed his arms over his chest and John raised an eyebrow. Dick knew that John was smart... “So, Bruce is Batman,” Dick said. 

John closed his eyes for a brief second like he was in pain or...or really turned on. “I know,” John replied. 

“Of course you know,” Dick bit his lip. “How long?” 

“Since forever, Dick. He didn't tell me if that is what you're worried or pissed about. I figured it out on my own. Because I am just that awesome,” John answered. It was meant to be a joke, but there was something in his voice, an edge. 

“I know that you are awesome, John. I still thought you would tell me something that fucking important about my...about Bruce!” And Dick wasn't angry exactly, but he was definitely something. 

“Do we have to do this now?” John asked. 

“When else? Don't you know we are in grave fucking danger from this guy with the mask.” 

“Bane,” John said. 

“Kinda fitting for a villain?” Dick asked. 

John smiled. Dick breathed a little easier. It had been a lame joke, but John was still a bit amused, it seemed. “He is a very dangerous man, Dick.” 

“Bruce already tried to send me away. I am not going.” 

“Dick-”

“How could I go if he stays, and he will stay no matter what. And I know if he stays you will stay too, because you love him.” 

“I love you too,” John said. 

“I know! That is not the point. The point is, that I won't be watching from afar unable to help again.” 

“Dick,” John said gently. 

Dick shook his head. He didn't know if John ever got the whole story about how his parents died, but Dick wasn't going to tell it now. “He is the Batman, John. He will find a way. He already locked up the Scarecrow and the Joker. And the things the Joker did were really fucking scary,” Dick said. He read up on Batman after he had seen the news. Batman did great things for the city and the city sucked and was now hunting him down. They were mostly after Batman and not the bad guys, no wonder Gotham needed the Batman. Well, at least they had John and Lucas now. 

“They were,” John said and grabbed Dick by the neck and hugged him again. He didn't seem to be in such a rush to get away anymore, like when he came home. “But Batman is pretty freaking ‘bat’ass.” 

“Yeah,” Dick said and it suddenly clicked. John had seen Batman on TV and he probably had had wet dreams and all kinds of messed up fantasies about the Batman before he ever even met Bruce. He was probably hot and bothered now and wanted Bruce to fuck his brains out. Dick bit his lip. John wasn't letting on. He seemed to be okay, being stuck with Dick and Dick rarely got John to himself, now that John was working cases and fucking Bruce. He decided he was allowed to be selfish. “Wanna watch a movie with me? Make some snacks?” 

John looked up the stairs to where Bruce's bedroom was and then down at Dick's face. “Yeah, sure,” he said and Dick knew he meant it. 

He beamed at John, he just knew he did. And John leaned down real quick and kissed Dick on the lips. 

~+~

When they got comfortable on the couch in the media room, Dick looked at the screen and grabbed a candy bar and said, not looking at John, “You're doing that often now.” 

“What?” John asked. 

“Kissing me on the lips,” Dick answered and he suppressed the urge to touch them or lick them or something that would call even more attention to his lips. 

“I do, don't I?” John asked like he just now only realized it because Dick had pointed it out. “Do you think it's weird? I kiss Lucas too...I mean not that often anymore, because Bruce gets ridiculously jealous, but yeah...it's a thing.” 

“It's nice,” Dick said honestly. 

John gave him a quick look. Dick could feel John's gaze on him. Like he was trying to figure something out. Like he was trying to figure Dick out and Dick couldn't have that. 

“So, is that why you kissed that pretty lady on the stairs during the gala?” He asked. 

“You saw that?” 

“Well...yeah. She was hot and caught my eye,” Dick said. 

John choked on his soda. “Okay...” 

“And then she kissed you, and then you and Bruce made a scene and nearly fucked each other in front of roughly a thousand people. It was like some kind of high class porn.” 

“Since when do you-”

“It's how I imagine high class porn to be, okay?” Dick cut in. 

“Enlighten me, why?”

“Okay, so a beautiful curvy, somewhat shady, in a good way, woman sees a handsome somewhat clueless looking young man and goes up to him and they talk for a second before she kisses him. Then the pretty boy's handsome, but jealous as hell, boyfriend/dom-”

“Dom?” John asked with an amused glint in his eyes. 

“Well, it's porn, isn't it?” Dick countered. 

“Go on.” 

“The boyfriend sees it and marches up to the woman, there is some display of dominance and ownership, but the boyfriend finds her kinda hot and a look passes between them so they decide to drag the pretty boy into one of the spacious bedrooms and have their wicked way with him,” Dick continued. 

“How do you even come up with that?” John asked. 

“I'm a sixteen year old whose girlfriend lives across the great pond, John. So as I was saying: They push him down on the bed and start to-” John pressed his hand to Dick's lips to shut him up and Dick bit him for his trouble. John moaned and then grinned. “Freak,” Dick said fondly. 

John shrugged. “What can I say? Rough does it for me.” He licked his palm where Dick had bitten it and Dick looked away, because he could barely handle the thought that John was licking Dick's spit from his palm. It lead to all kinds of interesting places and he should really be alone or on the phone with Amanda when he went there. So he could put his hand down his pants.

“I don't think it does it for me,” Dick said quietly. 

“Hey, it's just a preference, there is nothing wrong with liking to be sweet or have someone be sweet and gentle with you.” 

“But-”

“And it doesn't make you less of a man or whatever bullshit kids these days are trying to tell themselves,” John cut in. 

“Okay,” Dick said and snuggled closer to John. 

~+~

Dick didn't think often about John when he jerked off, because it was kinda messed up and hurt, but he just couldn't help himself. After he nearly fell asleep on the couch, John had picked him up and made to carry him up the stairs, but Dick got himself together and only let John help him to the bathroom. 

And now Dick was lying in bed and touching himself while he was thinking about John in that way. About John’s voice and his lips on Dick’s skin. Sometimes his thoughts jumped to that toy he saw that one time at John’s and Lucas’ place. It spiked his arousal for some unknown reason. 

He bit back John’s name as he came all over his hand and panted into the pillow until his heart rate was back to normal. 

He closed his eyes and fell asleep. 

~+~

When Dick came down the stairs on Friday everyone was already in the kitchen. Even Bruce. And Bruce kept even stranger hours now that he was back to being Batman again at night.

“What is going on?” He asked and stomped down on the urge to rub at his eyes and the rising uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“Well, Bruce is broke,” John said matter of fact.

Bruce gave him a sharp look.

“What?” Dick asked. Bruce was super rich. You just...if you were so filthy rich there was no way that you went broke from one day to the next.

“Apparently, Mister Daggett is attempting to steal Wayne enterprises,” Alfred said. 

“What?” Dick repeated. “A company is no cupcake, you can't just steal it from one day to the next.” Even Dick knew that much.

“It is a bit more complicated than that, but yes, I’ve lost controlling stock of the company and the money is gone,” Bruce said.

“Are we losing the house?” Dick asked. “Do I have to pack?”

“No, they let me keep the house for now. I think it's mostly because you live here too, Dick,” Bruce said.

“Can someone please explain to me how this happened?” Dick asked and crossed his arms over his chest. His stomach chose that moment to make a noise and the effect was somewhat ruined.

“After breakfast,” Alfred replied and started making pancakes.

Dick nodded. He took a seat at the table closest to Bruce and poured himself some tea. “We have nothing?”

“We have the house,” Bruce said.

“And Master John offered to lend us some money,” Alfred replied.

“I hope you had the good sense to accept the offer,” Dick said, because he knew how stubborn Bruce could be sometimes.

“He did, after some persuasion,” John answered.

“Okay. At least we won't starve. What about school?”

“I don't know yet. Dick. I am meeting up with Miranda later today so we can make a plan. I will fight this and I will get my company back. I promise. Everything will be alright again,” Bruce answered, grabbing Dick's hand and holding on. “I will fix this.”

“I know. I believe you, Bruce,” Dick said, and it was the truth. He did believe that Bruce would do anything he could to make this okay again. “But it doesn't matter if you're rich or not. We're still family,” Dick said.

Bruce leaned over then and hugged him for real. Dick soaked it up. “I'm glad you're feeling that way.”

“You will probably have to deal with a lot of shit now. From all kinds of people,” John said. “I will drive you to school.”

“In the police car?” Dick asked.

“Well...yeah. They should know that the police are on your side, before they start shit...besides Bruce lost the cars as well.”

Dick sighed. “What's next? The electricity?”

“I don't think they will go that far, Master Dick,” Alfred said as he served them pancakes.

Alfred, Dick thought, was like a freaking rock. Nothing could faze that man. It was good to know that he was their rock.

~+~

“You did what?” Dick asked and it was a bit sharper than he had wanted to. But Lucas shot at Bruce. For fuck's sake. It didn't matter that Bruce was better protected than pretty much anyone on the streets of Gotham.

“I don't even know...it just. I-” He looked rather helplessly at Dick and then at John.

John was trying to suppress a laugh, or a giggle or something like that, but Dick was kinda pissed. Maybe. It was also funny.

“Dude,” John said. And John never said 'dude' because he thought it was douchey.

“I know. I shot at the Batman.” Lucas put his head in his hands and didn't look at anyone. In fact he looked miserable.

Dick reached over and patted his shoulder. “It's alright. He was very well protected. Nothing happened.”

“He gave me that look. Like he couldn't fucking believe it. To be honest I couldn't fucking believe it either and Bullock told me to put that thing away before I hurt myself. It was so humiliating. Fuck. Good thing I will be on a tropical island next week,” Lucas moaned.

“What?” John asked.

Lucas looked up at them again. “Oh, yeah. That is the reason for tonight's dinner. Parker has a few weeks off and Dimitri and I are flying over to see him. I miss Parker and he should at least meet my new boyfriend. I mean, he met you,” Lucas said.

“Yeah, he did,” John replied and he sounded fond. “I kinda miss Parker too.”

“Maybe you should take a week off as well and we could take Dick,” Lucas said.

“We can't,” Dick said.

“Because Bruce needs you now more than ever,” Lucas concluded.

“Yeah. Miranda is helping and keeping that shady Daggett character at bay, but I bet he still wants to get his hands on Bruce's stuff,” Dick said, balling his hands into fists. John put his hand on one of Dick's and Dick relaxed slightly. “This sucks,” he added.

“Maybe I shouldn't go then. I can meet up with my brother another time,” Lucas said.

“No, I think you should go. With Parker's crazy schedule, you can never know when you two can get together again and besides you already took the time off of work,” John said.

“Yeah, I did. And yeah, it is crazy with Parker, and Dimitri is excited.” 

“You should go,” Dick replied. “We’ll try not to burn down the city in your absence.”

Lucas laughed.


	10. Chapter 10

**~nine~**

John cradled Bruce's face, brushing his lips against Bruce’s. It was a light kiss, soothing and loving and nothing like the sex they just had. Bruce was rough and demanding and John loved every fucking moment of it… but he knew that Bruce was working out the loss of his fortune and his company and the uncertainty of it all. He needed to assert his dominance and control. 

"John," Bruce sighed as he leaned into him, soaking it all in. Bruce needed this too, but John knew he’d deny himself this if given the choice. 

"It was never about the money, Bruce." John tried to reassure him, meaning every word. John had lived on the streets, he didn’t give a fuck about the rich life… as long as he had Bruce and Dick at his side he didn’t care where they lived. And deep down John knew that Alfred would take care of them without missing a beat.

Bruce closed his eyes, "The Batman needs his toys..."

John smacked his arm, "Bullshit. Those are nice, but they aren't needed to do the job." 

Bruce snorted.

"Bruce," John stressed, sitting up, and straddling Bruce's waist as he placed his hands on Bruce’s chest. "I'm in for the long haul, for richer, for poorer... and all that shit. We'll get through this."

Bruce sighed, running his fingers down John’s sides. "I know." He dug his fingers into John’s hips. "I don't deserve this." 

"Bullshit," John argued but he paused when Bruce placed a finger to John's lips.

"I failed the city, I failed my family, my parents..." Bruce's voice was thick and heavy with emotions and John slapped his hand against Bruce's chest.

"Bullshit," John insisted once more. "You’ve given this city everything but your life, and I’m not about to lose you now that I have you.” 

Bruce closed his eyes, lips thinning in an angry line. John sighed and kissed him, until Bruce was kissing him back with some heat behind it and they were breathless as they parted. “I want you to take Dick and get far away from here.” 

John tensed, shaking his head. “No, absolutely not. We’re not leaving here.” 

Bruce looked utterly defeated, he had to know that John would refuse him this. “John.” 

“No, don’t you fucking dare tell me it’s for my own good. We’re not leaving you to destroy yourself…”

“I can’t lose you or Dick. He’s my son and my only connection left to Mary and Jon and you…” his voice wavered and he paused, his gaze locking with John’s. 

John inhaled sharply at the intensity of Bruce’s gaze which conveyed much more… what he meant to add was that he couldn't lose John like he lost Dick's parents, that he won’t survive opening his heart up again only to lose John like everyone else. 

“You won’t lose us.” John insisted, but his voice sounded breathy and unsure even to his own ears.

Bruce’s grip tightened on John just a fraction, but he didn’t say anything.

John wrapped his arms around Bruce and held onto him. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

“That’s what they said.” 

John’s heart constricted tightly and he felt like he couldn’t breathe with the pain that washed over him. He couldn’t imagine what Bruce was feeling. They’ve never talked about this and John’s never asked Dick about how his parents died… but he has always been curious. “What happened?” John asked a moment later, his fingers caressing Bruce’s hair in a soothing gesture. 

There was a lengthy stretch of silence, but John didn’t push and Bruce didn’t pull away. John felt the hitch in Bruce’s breathing and John curled more around him, giving him all the love and support he could.

“It was a train accident a few miles outside of Gotham,” he began. “They had just started the season, the first show was here, of course, and it was breathtaking as always. I was to join them in a few days at their next stop… but they never made it there.”

John closed his eyes, trying to remember anything about a train accident and suddenly it came to him. He had never connected the dots before. They called it a miracle that only two had perished, when it could have been so many more… but it was the only two that mattered to Bruce, to Dick. 

“Jon saved Dick first and got him to safety before he helped everyone else out… but Mary was still on the train.” Bruce’s voice trembled and John leaned in and brushed his lips against Bruce’s, wiping away the stray tear that ran down Bruce’s face. “The reports claimed that Mary had been pinned down and she told Jon to save Dick and he did, the train exploded with them still on it.”

“Fuck,” John inhaled, suddenly recalling Dick’s words. He was forced from afar to watch, helpless to do a damn thing. Like John and Bruce…. Dick had watched as his parents died. 

“By the time I got there, they were gone and I swept Dick away from everything…” he whispered. “I couldn’t save them, I keep thinking if only I had gone with them like they had wanted, in Mary’s condition I should have been with them…” Bruce’s voice drifted off and it left John with so many more questions.

John’s eyes widened as he realized what Bruce had said, it couldn’t mean what he thought it did. “In Mary’s condition?” 

Bruce swallowed, licking his lips. “Mary was pregnant.” 

John inhaled sharply; that was so much worse and his thoughts immediately went to Dick. “Did Dick know?”

“No, we wanted to wait. It was early in her pregnancy, and we just wanted to make sure she was healthy, that the baby was healthy...” Bruce groaned. “We waited.”

John frowned, Dick would have been devastated to know that he had lost a sibling too. “You were being careful. It’s understandable-” Bruce suddenly pulled away and John’s heart skipped a beat. “Bruce?”

“I’m not going to wait for Bane to hurt my family.” 

John shuddered at his voice, it was the Batman’s and it instantly turned John on, but he had to push the desire away. “Don’t you fucking do something impulsive-”

“I have a connection.”

John groaned in frustration, “To what? You can’t just march in and confront him now… you’re not fairly matched.”

Bruce growled, “You think I can’t do it?” 

“No, that’s not it at all!” John protested, “But you’re rusty and he’s obviously not.” 

“You said that something is going on in the sewers, you coaxed me out of retirement and now you don’t want me to do my job?” Bruce argued and John sighed… John wanted that, but not like this. 

“I do, but it’s so risky. It’s a fucking maze down there and you’ll be out matched.” John had a horrible feeling settle in his gut as he watched Bruce dress… he wanted to stop him, but he had unleashed the Batman. 

“Do you trust Selina?” 

John blinked, mouth parting in shock. “What?”

“Selina.” Bruce stressed as he pulled on a shirt and John stared blankly at him.

“What does she have to do with this?” He questioned, unsure.

“She’s connected to Bane… I suspect that she’s indebted to him.” Bruce explained and John wasn’t as surprised as he could have been. 

“Fuck.”

Bruce smiled at him, pulling him into a kiss. “I got this.”

John returned the kiss, wrapping his arms around him… he didn’t want to let go. “I still think you should wait-”

“I will not engage Bane, I’ll find out his whereabouts and call it in.” Bruce stated and John reluctantly nodded, John knew there was no talking Bruce out of this once he made the decision. He should be happy that they were at least having this conversation and Bruce just didn’t slip out while he was sleeping. “Okay?”

“Okay,” John eventually agreed. “How long do you think you’ll be?”

Bruce glanced at the time, “A few hours, I’ll be back before dawn at the latest.” He smirked, leaning in and kissing John once more. “For a quickie, before you have to go to work.” 

John smiled at that. “In the shower?” 

Bruce laughed, flashing him a bright smile. “Hard against the tiles… just like you like it.”

“Fuck,” John groaned, grabbing onto Bruce’s shirt and kissing him. “God, the things you do to me.” 

Bruce smiled against his lips, before pulling away. “Dream of me.” 

“Always.” 

~+~

John woke up with a start and he immediately reached for Bruce, but he wasn’t there. It took him a second to remember what had happened prior to him falling asleep. His heart began to race as he glanced at the time. “Shit.” 

He jumped out of bed, dressing quickly… Bruce should have been home hours ago. John raced down the stairs, forcing a smile when he saw Alfred. 

“Morning, Master John.” He handed John his coffee and John gave him a nod of thanks as he took a sip. “I hope you made time for breakfast.”

“Um, yeah… have you seen Bruce?” 

“Master Bruce hasn’t returned home.” 

“Oh, um.” He bit his lip. “Does his suit have a tracking device or something?”

Alfred raised a brow. “Last I checked, it had been disabled.” 

John groaned, “Well isn’t that fucking convenient.” 

“Language,” Alfred began and John scowled. “I shall tell him you are looking for him when he returns.” 

John grunted and took another sip of coffee. Alfred seemed unfazed, but there was a slight hint of urgency in his eyes. “Can’t wait that long, something is wrong.” John put the mug of coffee on the table, “Thanks, I’ll see you later.” 

John left before Alfred could comment and he forced a smile, waving at Dick as he left… he felt a little shitty for ignoring Dick. But he had to find Bruce. 

~+~

John banged on the door, it was his one and only lead. 

“What?!” Selina snapped as the door swung open, a smile curling up at her lip as she locked her gaze on John. “Hey, handsome.”

John rolled his eyes, bracing his arms on the door frame. “Where is he, Selina?”

“Who?” Her smile faltered slightly. 

“Don’t.” John warned, he didn’t have time for this.

Selina glanced away, her lip quivering slightly… it was always her tell. She knew exactly who he was talking about and John waited. “I didn’t know.” 

Dread washed over him and his heart ached. “Fuck.” John curled his hands into fists, “Where is he?”

Selina shrugged, but her eyes were revealing more than the nonchalant behavior she was attempting. 

John’s chest felt tight and he could barely draw in a shaky breath, this wasn’t good. The dread he was feeling earlier worsened and he had to ask. “Did he kill him?”

“I don’t know,” her voice was thick, tears shimmered in her eyes, and John knew she wasn’t lying to him. 

“Oh, god.” John inhaled, his world spinning out of control. He didn’t know what to do, he felt frozen as he tried to process all of this.

She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into a tight embrace that was both needed and hated. “I’m sorry.”

John’s eyes narrowed and he pushed her away. “What the fuck did you do, Selina?”

“A girl’s gotta eat.” 

John shook his head and for his own sanity he shifted into the cop that he was trained to be. “There’s an arrest warrant out for you-”

“That’s not surprising,” she scoffed, glancing at her nails. 

“If I see you again, I’ll have no choice but to take you in.” He stated… he still had a job to do.

“Understood,” Selina gave him a sad smile and shut the door.

John left, mulling over her words… he wasn’t sure what he expected confronting her, but he had hoped for a better outcome, anything but this… this hurt. John searched the city, for anything, but there was nothing. 

There was no trace of the Batman or Bruce Wayne. 

~+~

John felt numb, Bruce was missing… presumed dead. He didn’t know what to do. He felt so lost and alone. He couldn’t return back to the manor, he couldn’t be there without Bruce. And he didn’t know what to say to Dick or Alfred, how could he tell them that Bruce was gone? 

Instead he stared at the ceiling of his apartment and lost himself in a bottle of hard liquor. John took another sip and hissed as he welcomed the burn. “Fuck.”


	11. Chapter 11

**~ten~**

Dick was worried. Bruce should have been back hours ago and John hadn’t come by the manor either. And he wasn’t picking up his phone. Dick sighed and put his head on the tabletop. He couldn’t keep calling John. The only phone that was working was Dick’s pre-paid cell. They had cut the phone line this morning.

“Something is wrong,” Dick said, not looking up.

“I know,” Alfred replied. “Master Bruce should have been back hours ago.”

“John isn’t picking up his phone,” Dick said. “Maybe we should call the police and…I don’t know. I wish Lucas was still here, so I could check with him if John is still at the station.”

“Well,” Alfred said, “Phone calls to the police are free. I will ask if John is still at the station or if he went home already.”

“Home…” Dick said. “Maybe he is at his place.” John’s place wasn’t his home. Never really had been, as John had been hanging out at the manor every second he could since he and Dick met. 

“Let me call the police station first, Master Dick,” Alfred replied.

Dick sat up and nodded, but he had a feeling that John’s shift was long over and that he was avoiding him and Alfred on purpose.

Dick had a very bad feeling about this.

~+~

“I can go alone,” Dick said, putting on his shoes.

“But public transportation, Master Dick!” 

“It’s not like we have a car left that we can call our own, Alfred. As soon as you park it somewhere it will be taken away, and besides, I know how to take the bus. And,” Dick said because Alfred was about to protest again, “Someone should be here for when Bruce shows up and he might need medical assistance.”

Alfred made an unhappy face. For Alfred that is. Dick could only hope that Bruce was okay, but if the things that John had said about Bane were true and if Bruce was pursuing him, Dick didn’t want to think about it too much or too deeply. It lead to all kinds of dark thoughts.

“Very well, Master Dick. I will wait here by the phone,” Alfred smiled.

Dick smiled back. “I’m leaving my cell. John still has a working phone at his place after all. I will call you.”

“Be careful, Master Dick,” Alfred said.

“It’s only public transportation, Alfred. I did it a million times when I was living in Germany.” Dick grabbed the key, waved goodbye and left the manor.

~+~

It took some time to get to John’s place and he had to walk ten minutes from the station. It was already dark when Dick finally stepped off the bus. It had been so freaking long since Dick had even been in the neighborhood that he nearly walked past John’s door.

He took a breath and rang the bell. Dick was running a million first sentences in his head for when the door opened, but it stayed closed. Dick rang the bell again and as nothing happened, he rang it again and also gave the door a good hard kick for good measure.

“What the fuck?!” John said sharply as he finally opened the door.

He looked awful and he reeked of alcohol. Not the good kind either. Dick gave him a look. “You didn’t pick up your phone,” he replied.

“That was a hint, as big as a fucking tree, Dick,” John hissed.

Dick crossed his arms over his chest. “Are you going to let me in or should I yell at you on the porch?”

John sighed and let Dick in. “You should’ve stayed at the manor.”

“You’re drunk,” Dick stated. “So, I forgive you for this crap.”

“I’m not yet, but I was on my way there before you showed up,” John said, flopping down on the couch and grabbing the bottle of hard liquor. 

“Did you have another fight with Bruce? Is that why he isn’t home yet? Alfred is worried as hell,” Dick asked.

John made a noise and then took a long swig from the bottle. It seemed John really was on his way to getting drunk. Steadily and with determination. Dick grabbed for the bottle and John glared at him. “Let go,” he said.

“No,” Dick replied firmly. “I think you had enough.”

“Not nearly,” John said, glaring at him.

Dick glared right back and didn't let go of the bottle. “What the hell is going on? Did he break up with you? I mean, I've never seen you like this...except that one time on your birthday. But even that wasn't this bad-”

“Dick,” John interrupted. “Stop talking.”

“Start talking then,” Dick said.

“I can't.”

“What?” Dick let go of the bottle and looked hard at John. He was a real mess and he didn't seem pissed off. Not much at least. Not like he had been when he let Dick in. But then, Dick had kicked the door and made a nuisance out of himself...so. “What is going on, John?” Dick asked, it was only a whisper. He didn't really want to know. He had a really bad feeling deep in his stomach.

John took a breath and it sounded like it hurt. Like it was ripping him apart to breathe. “I can't say it, Dick,” he replied.

“John. Where is Bruce?” Dick wanted to know. There was only one person that could mess John up that much. And it was Bruce. And Bruce still wasn't home and he was Batman and things were starting to get crazy in Gotham.

“Dick,” John said.

“Is he dead?” Dick made himself ask.

“I don't know,” John choked out.

It didn't mean yes, but it didn't mean no. “Where is he?”

“I don't know.”

“What happened?” Dick wanted to know.

“I don't know. He went after Bane and Selina...she did what she always does. He is...she thinks he's dead.” John said and broke down. He was sobbing into his hands and Dick had no idea what to do. He was in shock, he realized numbly. If Bruce was gone who would...what would happen now? They had no money. Dick had no parents again. No legal guardian. “Am I going to have to go to an orphanage?” Dick asked.

John looked up sharply and then grabbed him by the neck and pulled him in. “Over my dead fucking body, Dick,” he said harshly.

Dick sighed against John’s skin and breathed him in. John pulled him even closer against his chest. Dick had no idea how to make this better. It wasn't in his power to make this better. He was only sixteen.

“I need to call Alfred,” Dick said.

“We can't tell him yet...I don't know how to tell him that...that-”

“Okay. I’ll just tell him that I found you and that I am staying at your place tonight, so he doesn't worry about us as well.”

“Okay,” John said and let go of Dick.

Dick grabbed the phone and called Alfred to let him know that John was alive and that Dick was going to stay the night because he didn't want to take the night bus, and that John and he would be back for breakfast tomorrow at the manor. Alfred seemed relieved, but he was also worried about Bruce. Dick was glad that Alfred didn't ask about if John knew anything about Bruce's whereabouts. Dick didn't want to lie to him.

He hung up and looked at John. “We have to tell him tomorrow.”

“I know, Dick. Just not today. I just-”

“It's okay. Let's get you into the shower and then into bed,” Dick said.

“I know you don't want me to sleep with you, but I can't-”

“I already said I'm staying John,” Dick said and leaned in so he could kiss John gently on the cheek, but as soon as Dick's lips touched John's skin, John grabbed him and pulled him in, kissed Dick's neck and cheek and before Dick could really process what was going on he was kissing John, or John was kissing him and Dick wasn't sure if it was because John was lonely or upset or something else entirely. Maybe just drunk.

Dick knew he should care, but he couldn't. John tasted like bitter liquor and a bit salty. Tears, Dick realized, because John was devastated, because Bruce might be dead. He tried to pull away then, but John held on harder and bit Dick's lip. Dick gasped and pushed a bit at John’s chest as John’s tongue slipped into his mouth.

“John,” he said.

John groaned in frustration. “If you were Lucas I would ask you to fuck me now, so I wouldn't have to think,” John said, closing his eyes and then he winced. “Shit, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm messed up. I shouldn't have said that. I didn't mean to-”

“Go shower, okay?” Dick asked, but he grabbed John's hand and squeezed it tightly. John shouldn't think that Dick was angry or something like that.

“Okay,” John said and kissed Dick's forehead, then he got up and Dick took a deep breath, watching John disappear in the bathroom.

~+~

Dick was already under the covers when John crawled into the bed. He had brushed his teeth over the sink, because for some weird reason John and Lucas had kept the spare toothbrushes in the kitchen.  
John snuggled close as soon as he was under the covers. He wrapped his arms around Dick and Dick curled into him.

“I like kissing you,” John said. He sounded tired and not really awake.

“Okay...”

“I mean it, Dick. It's weird, and kinda messed up, because when I kiss you I nearly forget that I'm with Bruce, or it's more like it doesn't matter, you know? And- I don't know. I just really liked kissing you.”

Dick didn’t know what to say to that, so he grabbed onto John’s shirt and closed his eyes.

It wasn’t so hard to fall asleep with John in the same bed after all.

~+~

When Dick woke up, the first thing he did was snuggle even closer into the warm body beside him. It was nice, he felt good, and John’s hands roaming over his body made his skin tingle. He leaned in and kissed John’s neck. 

“Morning,” he said.

“Dick,” John said and his hands stilled.

“You couldn’t have possible thought I was Bruce,” Dick teased.

“No…” John said. “No, I didn’t. I don’t understand why-” he cut himself off.

“What?”

“How it can be so easy with you,” John sighed.

“You’re used to having me around,” Dick said. It didn’t even hurt. Much.

“Maybe,” John replied and kissed Dick’s forehead. “Maybe.”

There was something in his voice that made Dick hope. Dick wouldn’t ever burden John with his feelings, but if John should have feelings for him in return, and Dick thought so, hoped maybe, prayed for it sometimes when he felt selfish, Dick would not push John away. He was very aware that he could never do that.

“Come on, John. We need to see Alfred and make a plan.”

“A plan?” John asked. He seemed calmer this morning.

“Yes, so I don’t end up in an orphanage, so that this Daggett guy doesn’t steal Bruce’s company. So they don’t sell the house.”

“Yes, of course, but before they could take you away, I would steal you and run away with you,” John said.

“That’s very romantic, but not practical,” Dick said. It did, however, warm his heart. “Come on,” he added as he got out of bed.

John groaned. “Go shower first, I’ll make coffee,” he said.

“Okay,” Dick replied and made his way to the bathroom. 

Dick couldn’t help but remember that kiss, that desperate, but hot kiss from last night while he was standing in the shower.

Bruce was missing and all Dick could think about was how John’s lips felt and his tongue brushing against Dick’s own.

He felt dirty and disgusted with himself. Really, what was wrong with him? They had other problems, serious problems.

He rinsed off and got out of the shower.

~+~

John was silent in the car and Dick didn’t want to listen to the radio as the whole Wayne Enterprises thing was on pretty much every channel. It made Dick sick to think about that Daggett character. He leaned his head back against the headrest and closed his eyes.

Soon they would be at the manor and Dick…Dick had no idea how to tell Alfred that Bruce was missing, taken by Bane. Presumably dead.

“I will tell him,” John said suddenly. “You don’t have to, and you don’t know anything either-”

“You don’t know more than what Selina told you and she doesn’t know if Bruce is…if he’s dead,” Dick swallowed hard. “He could be still alive.”

“I’m not giving up on him until I see his corpse, Dick,” John said firmly.

“Okay.” Dick was strangely glad to hear that. John would never give up on any of them. No matter what.

~+~

John only hesitated briefly before he knocked on the door. They could have used their keys, but this would bring Alfred to them, instead of trying to hunt him down. 

“Master John, Master Dick,” Alfred said.

Dick had the urge to hug him. “Hey, Alfred. Sorry for worrying you,” John said.

Dick grabbed his hand briefly. Alfred’s eyes caught it, of course. Alfred squared his shoulders. “You have news,” he said. It wasn’t a question at all.

“Yes,” John said and then he just stared at Alfred.

“Master John?”

“He has been taken,” John said. “By Bane. We don’t know where he is.”

Alfred staggered, but only slightly. Dick hugged him then and Alfred hugged back.

“We need to make arrangements,” Alfred said. “If Bane has taken out Batman-”

“He knows Bruce is Batman,” John said. “I bet he helped Daggett to get Wayne Enterprises too. This can’t be a coincidence.”

Dick nodded against Alfred’s chest. He had the same suspicions.

“If you’re right Master John, then I fear that this is only the beginning,” Alfred said and hugged Dick a bit tighter.


	12. Chapter 12

**~eleven~**

John was lost in thought, they had to make a plan, they had to make sure Dick was safe, that Bruce’s company remained out of Daggett’s hands… Cause Bruce was coming back. He had to. John couldn’t imagine his life without him at his side.

John’s chest tightened and for a moment he couldn’t breathe. He squeezed Dick’s shoulder, leaning on him slightly for support. “Okay, we can do this. I’ll go to the station and I’ll-” John’s voice trailed off as there was a knock at the door. 

For a moment he thought maybe it was Bruce…maybe he was delayed and everything would be okay after all. 

Maybe.

Alfred answered the door and all of John’s hopes were dashed when he saw that it wasn’t Bruce after all. 

“Miss Tate. It’s always a pleasure. Is there something I can do for you?” Alfred opened the door further and let her in.

“Perhaps I can help you.” She smiled as she glanced around them. “Is Bruce in?” 

“No,” John rushed to say. “He’s-” his voice cracked and he bit his lip unable to say anything at all. 

“Indisposed at the moment.” Alfred chimed in, his voice smooth as if they weren’t hiding the biggest secret of all time. 

She raised a brow, nodding her head. “I see.” 

“But maybe you can still help us,” Dick jumped in, forcing a smile that didn’t touch his eyes… And that made the dull ache John felt even worse and he wanted to pull Dick into his arms, hold him close and kiss all his pain away. 

John was slightly startled by the thought and shook his head. This was messing him up. He had been so focused on Bruce and their budding relationship that he had lost focus of everything else. John closed his eyes, not sure he could trust Miranda. But he eventually nodded. “What did you wish to see Bruce about?” 

“The actions at Wayne Enterprises is only the beginning; I fear the worst,” Miranda began, “Bane will do anything to hurt Bruce and everything that he holds dear. Especially you two and his city.” 

John wasn’t expecting that at all. He needed a moment to process it, but his police training kicked in and he asked the question he knew everyone was thinking. “What do you know about Bane?”

Miranda gave him a sad smile, “He saved me when I was a child and I was his romantic interest at one time. But my father disapproved of him and his devotion to me.” She paused, looking conflicted for a moment. “I chose Bruce and pursued a relationship with him instead.”

“But you’re not with Bruce anymore,” Dick pointed out and it made John feel guilty for being the one to take her place. 

Miranda looked to John. “No, we haven’t been together for some time,” she glanced between them. “May we speak in private, John?” 

John’s heart skipped a beat and he wasn’t sure if he was ready for this talk. “Yeah, sure.” Dick grabbed his hand, giving it a light squeeze that John returned. Dick gave him a look and John knew that he didn’t appreciate being pushed aside and that he wanted to hear whatever Miranda had to say. John squeezed his hand once more, trying to reassure him. 

John took a deep breath and pulled away, leading the way into the sitting parlor. He fidgeted slightly, feeling unsure of himself, this was nerve wrecking. “So?”

“There’s no need to be nervous,” Miranda smiled as she reached out and ran her fingers down John’s arm and then squeezed his hand. “I am happy for you.”

John flushed, glancing down at his hands. “I’m sorry.” 

Miranda shook her head, “No need to be, I’ve always known that you would fully win his heart.” 

“I didn’t,” he replied honestly, he had hoped for it, but he was still surprised that Bruce had opened his heart to him.

“What Bruce and I had was special and we used each other to heal. We both needed something.” She explained as she glanced to the window, a sense of longing in her eyes. “I knew on your seventeenth birthday that you loved him and Bruce tried to hide it, but it was there if you looked for it. He has desired you for some time and I watched it grow into love and admiration.” 

“I’ve loved him for as long as I can remember.” John whispered, the dull ache he felt growing stronger as he realized he may never see Bruce again. “He’s gone Miranda, Bane-”

“Bane is a formidable opponent, but he wouldn’t have killed Bruce.” She stated. “He’d draw it out.” 

John sucked in a quick breath. That was even a worse fate to consider. He closed his eyes, “Fuck.” 

Miranda wrapped her arms around him. “He may be gone, but he’ll return.” 

John found the hug comforting and returned it. “What are we to do? Do you have any leads on his whereabouts?” 

She shook her head as she ran her fingers through his hair, “He means to punish me as well.”

“We’ll fight him.” John pulled away from the warmth of her arms and headed to the door. They had to find a way.

“I know,” Miranda smiled. “I shall help in any way I can.” 

John nodded, “I’ll head to the station and if you hear anything, please call.” 

“Of course.” 

“Wait,” Dick protested as he rejoined them at the door. “I’m coming with.” 

“No, you’ll stay here with Alfred and stay safe.” 

“No!” Dick looked hurt and John took pause. John knew how much he wanted to help, but John wasn’t sure it was worth the risk. 

“You can’t come to the station with me, it’s not feasible.” John stated a little more harshly than he intended. 

“You are more than welcome to join me in the city and do some research.” Miranda offered and Dick looked between John and Alfred. 

“I suppose that’s better than taking that bloody public transportation again.” Alfred mused and Dick grinned. 

“Okay, I guess that’ll work.” John tentatively agreed. 

~+~

John held onto Dick for as long as he could, it was hard to part ways. But they didn’t really have a choice. John had a job to do and in a way, it helped to be able to focus on something else that wasn’t Bruce’s disappearance. 

They eventually went their separate ways, Miranda drove Dick to the city to do their own investigation… but John wasn’t sure what they would be able to find. Unless, Miranda wasn’t telling them the full truth. Which he had a sneaking feeling might be the case. There was just something there. 

She knew something more. 

But John had to push those thoughts away. He had bigger concerns. Once he arrived at the station he found out that Daggett was dead and he knew in his gut that it was Bane. He could feel it in his bones and he immediately went to the hospital to speak with Gordon. John had to tell him that about Bruce… that the Batman wouldn’t be able to help them.

John’s heart squeezed tight still not able to deal with the fact that Bruce was really gone and he just felt a hollow ache in his chest. Bruce would want him to continue and fight the good fight. He was doing it for Bruce, he was doing it for their city… for Dick. 

John forced a smile, wearing the mask he crafted so many years ago as he entered Gordon’s hospital room. He was surprised to find everyone around Gordon’s bed, but it was about fucking time they believed Gordon. 

He stayed silent as they discussed what to do and it was the first fucking step and it finally felt like they were getting something done. The police force was finally going into the sewers to search for Bane, but it took Bane kidnapping the board of Wayne Enterprises…. 

And once more it all lead back to Bruce. John tried not to show any signs of distress and his thoughts immediately went to Miranda. Was she there too? What about Dick? 

John shook his head to clear his thoughts and once he was alone with Gordon he was tasked with figuring out how everything fit together. Daggett, the construction, and Bane. 

~+~

John trembled as he dropped the gun in his hands, not only had he taken a life, he took two! He drew in a shaky breath, trying to calm his breathing. He didn’t mean to. John glanced at the bodies, he was just protecting himself… it was all in the line of duty. 

But it felt so wrong. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He fucked up the investigation and he finally understood why the Batman never carried a gun. You can’t interrogate a dead body. Fuck. 

He shook his head and tried to clear his thoughts, he still had to work this out. John studied his surroundings, there had to be a clue. Something. He inhaled sharply as he put the dots together. They weren’t pouring cement… they were laying bombs all over the fucking city. 

John knew it was Bane, he felt it deep in his bones. 

Bane was fucking with them…. John’s eyes widened as he suddenly realized they weren’t just bombs, it was a trap. John was enraged and he tried to stop the police force from walking into it… he tried to warn them before it was too late. 

Explosions ripped through the air as he was trying to do just that. The ground shook and he felt ripples of destruction ripping his city apart. 

It took him a moment to register that he was okay… but John felt miserable, he had figured it out too late. The police force was crippled and trapped underneath the city. In the sewers that had protected Bane. It was fucking ironic. Everyone was down there…wait.

Gordon. 

John raced to the hospital, risking his life as he wove through the destruction. It hurt to see the city in such a state, but he didn’t have time to let it set in… he had to get to Gordon. 

He was surprised that Gordon was out of his bed and in control of the situation. And once more John was in awe of the man. Gordon was the shit. But they didn’t have time to really reflect on the events, John knew that he had to keep him safe, Bane would be coming for him. 

John drove Gordon back to his place, to safety. And once the adrenaline wore off from the chase his thoughts focused on one thing. 

Dick. 

John inhaled sharply, scrambling to the phone, he attempted to call him at Miranda’s but he couldn’t get through. The lines were too busy, everyone was trying to call their loved ones as well. Gotham was in a state of flux. “Fuck.” 

“You did good, son.” Gordon commented as he closed his eyes on his sofa. “We’re safe for now.”

John snorted, shaking his head. “For now, perhaps…” But if Bane knew everything about Bruce than they would be searching here soon. But at the moment he could care less. It wasn’t worth it if Dick was…

His heart squeezed tight and he wouldn’t allow himself to consider that as an option. Dick was safe. He had to be. John wouldn’t survive if Dick was gone too. 

John dialed Miranda’s number again and waited as the call finally went through. He felt like he could breathe again when Dick answered. “Thank God.”


	13. Chapter 13

**~twelve~**

The city was chaos. Everywhere he looked people were hurting and some were definitely dead. Miranda was squeezing his hand tightly, but Dick wasn't sure anymore for whose comfort it was. It didn't matter. 

“We have to go,” she said urgently. 

“Where?” Dick asked, because when he looked out on the street it didn't look like they would go far. 

“I don't know. Just- we can't stay here, Dick. It's too dangerous-” she stopped as her phone rang. “It's John,” she said and gave Dick the phone without another word. She was looking around like she was expecting someone to grab her, them, at any minute. 

Dick put the phone to his ear. 

“Thank God,” John said and Dick could feel the relief wrap around him tightly. 

“John,” Dick sighed. He could hear screaming from all sides, but John was okay. He and Miranda, and probably Alfred too since Wayne manor was so far out. He needed to call Alfred as soon as he could. 

“Where are you?” 

“Near Wayne Tower,” Dick replied. 

“Wait for us-”

“Us?” 

“I'm with Commissioner Gordon,” John answered. 

“Miranda says it's not safe here; John,” Dick said. “She wants us to leave.” 

“To hide,” Miranda threw in. Somehow she didn't seem at all like a victim of circumstance. Not like all the other people. There was something calm and commending about her. Dick couldn't quite put his finger on it. And then he could. Just as some desperate soul tried to grab Dick from behind, she hit the man hard and he staggered. She was...she looked like a warrior, Dick thought. 

“Dick, you there?” John asked. 

“Yes, I'm fine. I think Miranda is right. A lot of people are acting crazy, John. I think Miranda and I should hide. We could go to the station or meet you at your place-” 

“NO!” John said sharply. “Bane's men could be waiting for us there. He knows who Bruce is, he knows who we are. It's too dangerous.” 

“The orphanage then?” Dick asked. 

There was silence at the other end of the line and then Dick could hear a heated and short conversation. 

“Yes, I’ll meet you there. Wait if you and Miranda should get there first,” John said. 

“Okay-”

“Dick?” 

“Yeah?” 

“I love you,” John said. 

“I know. You too,” Dick replied and hung up. 

Miranda raised a delicate eyebrow. “Well?” 

“He and Jim think that we should met him at the orphanage,” Dick said. 

“Jim?” Miranda asked and then she got it. “Oh...It's good he is with John.” 

Dick nodded and grabbed her hand. “You have some sweet moves, Miss Tate,” he said. 

She smiled. “I'll tell you all about it one day.” 

“I will hold you to that,” Dick replied and dialed his own number. A car crashed just a bit away from them. 

“Call him later, Dick, once we're safe,” Miranda said. Her tone was a bit sharp. 

Dick didn't blame her and put away the phone. 

~+~

They made it to the orphanage through back-alleys and detours. It took some time, but in this case Dick was better safe than sorry. Miranda surprised him more than once with how quick and agile she was, how trained. She had secrets, but then that seemed to be the default for people Dick cared about. Dick himself was no exception. 

This wasn't the time to ask her about these things. 

Dick found it funny, in a strange way, that the place he had found so dreadful as a child would now be their sanctuary, for god only knew how long. 

Miranda knocked on the door gently and a small boy opened it just a bit. 

“Yeah?” He asked. 

“Hi, there. I'm Miranda and this is Dick, John sent us,” she said. 

The kid's eyes lit up at the mention of John's name. He looked at Dick. “I don’t see him.” 

“He isn't here, but he will come,” Dick said firmly. He was itching to shove the kid back and enter. 

“Timothy! What are you doing?” The father asked and grabbed the boy by the shoulders. “I told you boys not to answer the door or talk to strangers.” 

“John sent them,” Timothy answered like it would explain everything. 

The father nodded and let them in, finally. 

“You are Richard, Mister Wayne's boy,” the father said as he took a good look at Dick. 

Dick nodded. “We just need a place to wait for John and then we will be out of your hair,” Dick said. 

“Stay as long as you want,” the father answered and led them into the sitting room. One of the boys brought them tea and Dick ached to call Alfred, but it would make more sense to wait for John. With John there he could tell Alfred that they were all okay. He didn't want to worry Alfred more than he already was. 

He took a sip of his tea and leaned his head against the back of the chair. He felt suddenly exhausted and had the feeling, that this was only the beginning. 

~+~

Dick woke with a start. He hadn't meant to fall asleep. He rubbed at his eyes and sat up. Timothy was watching him curiously. Dick blinked. 

“John is back,” the boy said. 

“Shit,” Dick said. 

“Language,” Timothy replied and it reminded him of Bruce for some weird reason. He stuck his tongue out at the kid and suppressed a laugh because Timothy looked so shocked.

“Where are they?” He asked looking around the sitting room. 

“In the kitchen,” Timothy answered. 

Dick got up. Why didn’t they wake him up? He needed to hear whatever they were saying. He was in as much danger as John and Miranda. 

He pushed the door open and everyone looked at him. Dick ignored them all in favor of faceplanting into John's chest. “Thank fucking god,” he hissed and then looked up at John. “You should've woken me.” 

“You looked like you needed your rest. It was a-”

“Shitty fucking day,” Dick supplied. 

“Yeah,” John replied with a small smile. “Exactly that.” 

“So what the hell is going on? Because I’m pretty sure it wasn’t an earthquake,” Dick asked, letting go of John and sitting down in one of the empty chairs. 

“Bane,” John answered and there was so much resentment in his voice that Dick could call it hate. Dick nodded and let John and Miranda bring him up to speed. 

“So what are we going to do now?” Dick asked. The father looked sick with all that he had heard and he hadn't even heard all of it. There was no word about the Batman. 

“The Commissioner is hiding out at my place right now, but I don't think he should stay there. They were clearly trying to kill him,” John said. 

“We should call Alfred,” Dick threw in. 

“Shit!” John said. “I totally forgot. He still has your phone, right?” 

“Yeah...” 

“I think we should get you and Miranda to the manor anyway-”

“Is that wise? Or possible? The bridges were blown up.” The Father asked. 

“Bruce has a panic room there. They will be safe. And one bridge is still left as far as I know. Maybe more than one,” John said. 

It was fucking code for the Batcave Dick knew was under the manor, but he had yet to see it. 

“Yes, of course,” the father said. He didn't sound very convinced, and Dick couldn't blame him. It was a crazy thing to try. 

“We will need a car,” Miranda threw in. 

“You can borrow mine,” the Father said. She nodded her thanks and smiled at him. “What about you, John?” 

“I'm staying here. I need to help stop Bane and protect the kids.”

Dick had known of course that John would want to stay, but it still hurt. He didn't want to sit around and wait for news, but the world got a lot scary outside in the last few hours. 

“We should go tomorrow, after a good night’s sleep and breakfast,” Miranda said. 

John nodded. “Can we stay the night, Father?” 

“Of course,” the Father answered. “You are always welcome here.” 

“Thanks,” John said. He looked tired too, Dick thought.

~+~

After another cup of tea he and John went outside to call Alfred. The kid, Timothy, gave them a look, but Dick already had other things on his mind than to worry about a scrawny kid that reminded him of Bruce. 

John was drumming his fingers on his legs as they waited for the call to connect. 

“Yes?” Alfred asked. 

“It's us,” Dick said and put Alfred on speaker. 

“Thank god, Master Dick, Master John.” 

“Hi, Alfred,” John said and the smile made it into his voice too. 

“Where are you boys?” Alfred asked. 

“At the orphanage, but Dick is going back to the manor tomorrow. With Miranda. We think Bruce's basement would be a safe place to sit this out,” John answered. 

“I see,” Alfred said. “What about you Master John?” 

“I'm staying in the city. Gordon will try to organize a resistance. I want to help.” 

“I see, but I can't approve of it,” Alfred replied. 

John sighed. “I need to do this and you need to keep Miranda and Dick safe.” 

Dick had the sneaking suspicion that Miranda could take care of herself just fine. Dick felt safe with her.

“The bridges are blown. All except one, and I think that Bane's men will wait for us, but John still wants to risk it,” Dick threw in. 

“I was wondering about that,” Alfred admitted and then Dick could hear him sigh. “Master Bruce has other places in the city you boys could stay at.”

“But the basement in the manor-” John started. 

“They are like the basement, but slightly less in the way of gadgets.” 

“Shit,” Dick laughed. “Of course he would have them stashed all over the city. Always planning ahead.”

“Indeed,” Alfred replied. “I think you should stay at one of those places until it's less dangerous to leave the city,” he added. 

Dick nodded, it sounded like a good plan to him. “Think so too. John?” 

John looked at him hard. “I would feel better with you stashed away somewhere safe,” he said. 

“I know, but I think Alfred is right. One of Bruce's panic rooms in the city is our best option now until the madness starts to quiet down.” 

“Okay,” John said, but Dick knew he didn't like it much. 

“Do you boys have something to write with?” Alfred asked. 

John took out his pad and a pen. “Ready when you are.”

~+~

Dick was too tired to think much about sleeping with John again. There wasn't that many rooms left at the orphanage and since Miranda was pretty much the only girl, she got the one free room. So John and Dick had to share a bed. It wasn't a big deal, they've done it before. 

“It's strange,” John said. 

“What?” Dick asked, because a lot of shit was strange right now. 

“Being back here again, under this roof,” John replied. 

“This isn't your old room,” Dick said. 

“No. You remember that one?” 

“Yeah,” Dick answered, snuggling closer to John. “I remember everything.” 

John slung his arms around Dick and Dick exhaled slowly. “You okay?” John asked. 

“I'm fucking scared, John,” Dick admitted in a whisper. Bane was after them. He was destroying the city and he had taken away Batman and their home. This man made it personal for some reason. Dick wished he knew more about Bruce's past. 

“Sometimes I wonder if my parent’s accident really was an accident, you know?” 

“What?” 

“Since I discovered that Bruce was Batman even when he was with my parents. Maybe someone wanted to hurt him, maybe-”

“Dick,” John interrupted. “Don't even go down that path. Bruce says it was an accident and don't you think that he would have investigated the hell out of that train-wreck?” 

“Yes, he would, but John, Bruce lies,” Dick replied.

“He wouldn’t have lied about this, Dick. He would have found the people and he would’ve brought them to justice. It was an accident. There was no one to blame for it.” He kissed the top of Dick's head and Dick closed his eyes. “Sleep now. Big day tomorrow. Imagine all the cool toys we will find there,” he whispered.


	14. Chapter 14

**~Thirteen~**

John woke up slowly and for just a moment he thought he was back in the manor with Bruce… but then he realized that the arms wrapped around him weren’t Bruce’s. Far from it, but John still felt safe and loved. It didn’t feel as different as it should have and it confused him. 

John shifted slightly, running his fingers through Dick’s hair before he kissed his brow. “God, this is so fucked up.” 

Dick mumbled something into John’s chest and rubbed his head against him as he settled into a deeper sleep. 

John smiled and then kissed his brow once more, before he reluctantly pulled away and headed to the kitchen. It was still early, but he just felt restless… there was so much to do. 

“John.” 

“Father,” John began, inhaling deeply at the smell of coffee lofting in the kitchen. He knew it wasn’t as good as Alfred’s, but he had grown up on this shit and it was reassuring in a way.

“Cup of coffee?” 

“Yes, please.” 

He poured John a cup of coffee and gave him the mug. “Big day.” 

“Yes,” John took a sip, it was a little too bitter for his taste, but it was familiar and gave him a small amount of comfort. “Thanks again for all your help.”

He nodded, “If there’s anything else I can do, let me know.” Father smiled as he exited the kitchen and John knew that he would... John had always suspected that he had a soft spot for him, for all the boys really.

John sat down and nursed the rest of his coffee, losing himself in his own thoughts. He needed to show Dick a brave face, but John was fucking scared of what the next few days may bring. He couldn't stomach the thought of losing Dick... especially with Bruce's fate so unknown.

“John!” Dick came rushing into the kitchen and smacked John’s arm, startling him slightly. “Don’t do that to me again!” 

John frowned as he put his coffee down and pulled Dick into his arms, “I’m sorry, I just… you were tired.” 

“I don’t care, it was worse waking up and you weren’t there!” Dick rushed, wrapping his arms around him and holding onto him just as tightly. “I thought they got you!”

John blinked, “Who got me?”

“Bane’s men,” Miranda stated and John snapped his gaze over to her. She looked different to him… fierce, regal. And once more it dawned on him that there was so much they didn’t know about her. 

“Oh,” John inhaled feeling even more confused. He suspected that they would come, but he had a sinking feeling they already had.

“They tried to snatch us earlier and when you weren’t there-”

“Wait, what?” John gasped, his mind spinning. They left that part out earlier. He glanced between them. “When? You didn’t think you should have told me this earlier?”

“I took care of it,” Miranda stated with such authority that he didn’t even question it. Well, fuck. 

“Fuck.” John rubbed his face, pulling away from Dick. “Okay, I thought Bane’s men might come for us, but I didn’t think they would try it so soon… damn." 

“Language!” 

John’s eyes widened and he turned to see Timothy, in the doorway to the pantry… a book tucked under his arms. A far too serious expression for his little face. “Hey, buddy. What are you doing here?”

“Listening.” He was so matter of fact that John couldn’t help but be slightly amused. 

Dick snorted, sticking out his tongue at the boy and Timothy sighed, clearly exasperated. 

“You should go play,” John began. “This is only for big-”

“I’m big!” Timothy gasped, trying to reassure John as he stood up taller and puffed up his chest, but he was still a scrawny little kid. The earnest look on his face made John want to give him something to do and he glanced over at Miranda... she was better at shit like this. He hated to disappoint the kid and Timothy had always looked up to him.

"Timothy, was it?" Miranda began, kneeling down in front of him. 

Timothy nodded, looking almost expectantly at her. “Yes?”

She gave him a knowing smile, “I hear you’re a very intuitive young man.” Timothy practically beamed up at her at the praise. “I have a very important task and I think you’re just the one to do it.” 

“Yeah?” 

“It will help John and I out, immensely.” 

“I can do it!!” Timothy inhaled, excitement laced in his voice. It was the first time John had ever seen the boy smile, it looked good on him and he appeared more like the kid he was. 

“You know how much the orphanage and all the boys mean to John?” She began and Timothy nodded in agreement, hanging on her every word… as were John and Dick. “I want you to be a strong soldier and watch over them, if you see anything suspicious I want you to notify us.” 

“How will I be able to notify you, since the phones are out?” He asked, glancing between them. 

Miranda took out a small device from her pocket and gave it to him. “Press this button and we’ll be notified immediately.”

Timothy’s eyes widened with awe and he took it protectively into his hands. “I won’t disappoint you!” He grinned and raced off with a duty to do. 

John smirked, “That was amazing… will that button work?” 

“Naturally.” She mused and she handed what looked like a watch to him. “It’ll light up blue if he pushes it… It’s a small gadget that Wayne Enterprises has been working on. It worked liked a charm under lab testing, and after the board incident, I grabbed it.” 

John took the watch and put it on, “Nice.” 

Miranda smiled and gave Dick a button as well. “Try it.” 

Dick pushed the button and the face of John’s watch glowed a faint green. “Wow,” Dick inhaled and John barely tapped the top and it cleared. 

“And do you have a button?” John asked, smirking over at Miranda. 

“Of course,” she winked. “Mine will be red, I believe.” 

John nodded and inhaled as it suddenly glowed blue. Timothy. “I’m sure he’s just testing it out.” But John’s breathing hitched slightly, his heart racing with anticipation.

“Perhaps we should head out, we’ve been here far too long.” Miranda began as she took Dick’s hand in hers. 

Before John could respond, Timothy came running back into the room, slightly out of breath. “Tim?”

“There’s a man, in a funny vest and a gun, talking with Father Reilly!!” 

Miranda stiffened, “Barsad.” 

John inhaled sharply, feeling himself pale slightly… he brought harm to the orphanage. “Will he hurt the boys?” 

“No,” she shook her head, but she didn’t sound as sure as he’d hope. 

“We should go,” Dick urged and John agreed. 

“It’s more of a fact finding mission.” Miranda mused. “If they’re here, they’ll be at your place soon. They know you, they will want to find all your weaknesses.” 

John felt sick, he knew this… but having her say it made it more real in a way and he couldn’t deny it. They had to move, he had to get to his place and he had to get Gordon to safety. He squeezed Dick’s shoulder. “Okay, okay.” He nodded and then he pulled a startled Timothy into a hug, “Thank you for the heads up and watch your step.” He wanted to snatch him away with them, but they had to leave everything as they found it.

Timothy nodded as he pulled away and John hated how he flinched at the physical contact. He vowed that he’d try to spend more time here with him if he could. “I’ll be good,” Timothy waved at them and then darted back down the hall. 

John struggled for a moment, he really wanted to stay and take care of the boys. He felt responsible for them, too. He startled slightly when Dick’s hand grabbed his wrist and he knew where he needed to be. With Dick, making sure he was safe. Dick was his family. 

“Okay,” he inhaled and turned toward Miranda… she still had her secrets but he felt like they could trust her and so far she had not lead them astray. 

~+~

It took longer for them to get back to his place then he liked… there was a man shot dead on his doorstep and John was worried that they were too late. He checked the corners, remembering Gordon’s word the other day and sighed with relief when he saw him safe and sound. 

“I hope we have a plan?” Gordon questioned and he nodded. 

“We do, we’ll tell you on the way.” John stated, ushering him into the car and they drove around in circles for a while, knowing they had to make sure no one was following them. There was still mass panic on the streets and the closer they got to their destination, the more deserted it was. 

“Damn,” John inhaled as they opened the garage door and parked. By all appearances it was an abandoned warehouse and it smelled like it too. He would have never guessed that this was a safe house for Bruce Wayne. 

“Alfred said the door was to the right.” Dick got out of the car and let out a squeak of excitement as he found the door and keypad. He typed in the code and John watched as the garage door closed on its own and a door slid open to the left of them… it was a fake door. “Good thing Bruce is an eccentric billionaire,” Dick added and John knew it was more for Gordon’s sake.

Miranda knew the truth, that Bruce was Batman. She hadn’t said so, but he had a sinking feeling she knew far more than she let on.

They took the stairs down and John nearly stumbled over his feet when they encountered the richness of what appeared to be a luxury apartment with all the amenities. And after a quick look through, they knew it was big enough for them to sit tight for years to come if need be… but John hoped that they wouldn’t have to. 

“Where’s all the cool Bat toys?” Dick questioned in a hushed voice and John shrugged, watching as Miranda fussed over Gordon. 

“We’re going to look around a little more,” John offered and before anyone could object he dragged Dick into the next room. 

“There has to be another door somewhere,” Dick sighed as they continued to investigate the maze of rooms. They had found an additional bedroom, bringing the count up to four and another bathroom. 

“This place is fucking huge.” John gasped as they stumbled into another room, it looked like an office that had never been used. “I wish we could call Alfred.” John whispered more to himself as he opened another door that appeared to be just a closet. “Well, fuck.”

“Language.” 

John snorted, “So not funny.” 

“It kinda was,” Dick wrapped his arm around him and leaned into him for a moment, before something caught his eyes. “Wait.” 

“What?” 

Dick pulled away, touching a large fabric print hanging on the wall. “I know this…”

John raised a brow, it was a pretty blue… almost metallic and it shimmered in the light. “How?”

“It was my father’s,” Dick’s voice was barely above a whisper and John wrapped his arms around him. “It’s the fabric from the cape of his costume, I didn’t know Bruce had this.” 

John reached out, touching the frame and he suddenly realized it was more than just that. “This is it,” John pulled away from Dick, feeling around the frame until he found the latch and the framed cape opened into a dark staircase. 

They followed it down and John stopped in his tracks as he glanced around him when a light flickered on… motion detection, smart. “Damn,” John inhaled as he tried to take everything in and a thrill of excitement rushed through him. They were in the sub, subbasement? If that was even possible. There was a suit in a glass case, a sleek black car near what appeared to be a garage door that lead up, he assumed, and a handful of Bat gadgets. 

John immediately rushed forward, running his fingers over one of the Batarangs and he turned to share this with Dick when he realized that Dick was on the opposite side of the room. “Dick?”

Dick made a noise that made John’s heart clench tight and he quickly crossed over him, freezing in his spot when he realized what Dick was looking at it. “Holy shit.”

It was a haven of everything Flying Grayson, this was Dick’s childhood and a link to his parents that he thought he had lost. There were costumes and flyers, posters, toys… John wondered briefly if after their death Bruce had sought out everything he could that was of them. Anything to bring Mary and Jon closer to him.

But why lock it away like this? Dick needed this. 

John immediately wrapped his arms around Dick and pulled him close. “Hey, you okay?” 

Dick wiped angrily at his eyes and then buried his head into his chest. He was shaking and this must have been a shock to the system… he sure wasn’t expecting to find this here of all things. It was a memorial.

“I’m here,” he whispered as he kissed the top of Dick’s head, knowing he probably needed a moment to digest this. John was angry at Bruce for tucking this away when Dick would have loved to be surrounded by this. “Dick?”

Dick mumbled something into his chest and John just held him closer. John took the moment to glance around the room, he was so blown away by the gadgets and Bat gear he didn’t even realize at first that there was a large computer that ran almost the length of the room and this desk looked used… and John wondered briefly when the last time Bruce had been here was. 

It hurt realizing there was still so much he didn’t know about Bruce. There was so many layers and John wished it didn’t take the fucking occupation to see this safe house. Bruce should have shared this with him, with Dick. 

Fuck him.


	15. Chapter 15

~fourteen~

Dick was wondering what else Bruce had kept from him. What else was hidden here between the armor and the weapons? 

Was this what Bruce thought of as a safe place for his parent’s memory? Where he could come and – do what? Cry? Probably not. 

He looked up at John. John looked pissed off as hell again. And it had nothing to do with their city being destroyed by someone who didn’t get a fucking hint when a girl told him not to bother. Dick hugged John tighter for a moment and then let slowly go. 

“I’m alright,” he said and smiled up at John. 

“Bullshit if I ever heard any,” John replied and bent down to kiss his forehead. 

Dick sighed. “Okay. I am not okay. Bruce has lied about this. He should have told us stuff now that we know he is the Batman. For fuck’s sake. Alfred had to tell us these safe houses even existed, John. Bruce sucks.” Dick finished. 

John laughed. It sounded startled, but not like it hurt, which was a good thing in Dick’s book. “He does suck. I just don’t get why he didn’t tell you about all this stuff.” 

“Probably because it’s creepy. It’s a shrine to my dead parents, John. And,” Dick bit his lip, “Part of me gets it. We were so happy. I remember only the happy times. I guess, I mean, they probably had fights too, but I don’t remember those, or they never happened where I could see or hear them. They were happy, John. We were a family. Mom wanted more kids. She told me. She asked me if I would like a baby brother or sister. I wanted that too. I don’t know if Bruce was ready back then. I mean, he was young. It didn’t seem that way to me, but now I know he had been so much younger than mom and dad, and of course there was me…” 

John looked away for a moment like he was hiding something, and Dick yanked at his wrist. “What?” 

“Nothing-”

“Don’t you dare lie to me, John. Not you, not now,” Dick hissed and squeezed John’s wrist even harder. He hadn’t meant to, but – and John made a noise that was only half pain. Dick let go like he had been burned. 

“Bruce wanted that too, Dick. A family. Before your parents died, they wanted to have another child. They were ready. Bruce was ready,” John replied. 

“Oh-” Dick said. “Mom wanted to get pregnant again.” And then it clicked. 

“Yes,” John said, but there was still something in his eyes. 

“John!”

“She was pregnant, your mom, she-” he cut himself off and looked at Dick. 

Dick could feel the world slip from his grip. He was falling and- John was holding him again. Dick wanted to struggle, because John knew, because Bruce told him, but not Dick. He felt too weak. “He never would've told me,” he said rather tonelessly. 

“You can’t know that for sure.” 

“He told you,” Dick pointed out. 

“He was vulnerable at the time.” 

“He’s never vulnerable with me, he doesn’t trust me, he doesn’t lo-”

“He does love you,” John cut in sharply. “I love you.”

“Not-” Dick cut himself off. “I’m messed up right now, John. Let me go.” 

“Not a snowball’s chance in hell, kiddo,” John said and hugged him tighter. 

“I told you not to call me that,” Dick said, but he couldn’t make himself mean it this time. He would give John everything; he would take everything John was willing to give and he would not feel guilty about it anymore, because Bruce so obviously hadn’t felt guilty for taking this, this, all away from Dick. 

Bruce seemed to treat his own pain like it was the only pain that mattered. Dick had lost his parents and a baby sister or brother! “Was it a girl or a boy?” 

“He didn’t tell me,” John said. 

“Mom always liked Violet for a girl,” Dick whispered, and he had no idea what the hell he was doing right now, but –whatever. He could have a brief breakdown before reality set in again. 

“It’s a pretty name,” John replied. 

Dick nodded against John’s chest and let John hug him even tighter. It felt good to be a bit crushed. Breathing wasn’t so hard anymore, because he had to do it, because John made him and- Dick wasn’t going to think about it. Not now at least. 

“We should go back up, so Gordon doesn’t come snooping,” Dick said. 

“Sure. In a moment,” John replied and didn’t let go of Dick. 

~+~

He washed up before he followed John into the kitchen, where Miranda and Gordon were making coffee and something to eat. The kitchen was stocked well, but then Dick didn’t expect anything less.

“It’s like he was planning for an earthquake or something,” Gordon said, blowing on his coffee. 

“People don’t know this about Bruce, but he's a bit paranoid,” Dick replied with a smile. 

“In this case? I’ll take it,” Gordon said. “Where is Mister Wayne?” 

“Russia. A business trip that came up suddenly-”

“And he left you here, and he’ll probably not be able to get back now.”

“He usually takes these trips alone, Commissioner,” John said. 

Gordon nodded into his mug. He was thinking and Dick had to do something. 

“What are we going to do?” Dick asked, sitting down and nodding thanks to Miranda, who put a mug of hot tea in front of him. 

“Bane is looking for you. All of you,” Gordon said. 

“You too, Commissioner,” John cut in. 

“Of course, but I think it’s personal with you two and Miss Tate,” Gordon said, giving them all a look. 

“Bane and I were…I was his childhood sweetheart,” Miranda answered.

Gordon nodded. “And you and Mister Wayne were an item. That would explain why he is going after Dick, and because of recent events, after John.”

John looked into his coffee. “Yeah…pretty much everyone knows that Bruce and I are an item now.” 

“It made quite a splash, son,” Gordon replied. “Did the other guys give you shit for being-”

“Gay?” Dick cut in sharply. He felt like he needed to protect John; it was stupid, but there it was. 

“Yes,” Gordon said without any hesitation. 

“Some of them. It isn’t important, Commissioner. I've had to deal with shit like that ever since I came out. Actually, the first person I came out to didn’t give me shit for it at all,” he smiled, and Dick raised an eyebrow. “It was your mom.” 

“Oh…” Dick said. John really had to share that story soon. 

“You’re right, it’s not important. What is important is that he is taking a whole city hostage, just so he could hurt you and Miss Tate? I don’t think that is his only motive.” 

“It’s not. He is trying to finish what my father started,” Miranda said calmly. 

“Your father?” 

“Ra’s Al Ghul,” she replied. 

“Holy-” Gordon cut himself off. “Ra's led the League of Shadows.” 

“Yes. Bane was trained in their ways by my father. Bane never understood that I was more like my mother. I didn’t admire my father. I didn’t want to become like him. Bane did, so I left.” 

“You ran.” 

“Yes. I changed my name and tried to do good. Tried to live a good life. To help, to love – to be happy.” 

Dick grabbed her hand. “It’s what everybody deserves,” he said. 

“Thank you, Dick.” She smiled at him and then turned to Gordon again. “He found me. He will destroy what he thinks is in his way. He wants to lead the League. He wants to be feared.” 

“I am afraid of him,” Gordon said. 

John nodded. “It’s the sane thing to feel.” 

“The sane thing to do, would be to get the hell out of this city, but we both know that isn’t going to happen.” 

“No,” John said. “It won’t. 

~+~

Dick was scared and he wasn’t ashamed of it one bit. Bane had announced that someone in the city had a trigger for a bomb that could kill them all in seconds. And he killed the only person who knew how this thing works live on TV. 

Dick was shivering under his blanket. He was safe here, he knew that, but all those people out there? They would start fighting for food and shelter soon, and winter was coming. 

What about the kids at the orphanage? What about Tim? He grabbed the blanket tighter. Shouldn’t they share the stuff that Bruce had here? Shouldn’t they help? 

Dick really had no idea how to help. What to do. It seemed all rather pointless. 

“Dick?” John asked from the door. 

“Yeah,” Dick answered and made room in his bed. He had hoped John would come and sleep with him. 

He didn’t want to ask, because it had been him who wanted the distance, but he wasn’t feeling that way anymore. He was scared, and he needed to feel someone else’s heartbeat next to his. 

And John probably missed Bruce like crazy. 

For Dick, Bruce was something distant, but that was probably because they hadn’t talked in a year. Dick had grown up without him and now that Bruce was – gone, he would settle on gone – he would continue to live without Bruce. It must be so much harder for John, he thought. 

“Thank god,” John said, and climbed into bed with him. 

Dick snuggled as close as he could without making it too obvious how much he enjoyed John’s company. One of these days John would get a clue and – Dick would deal. 

“I’m glad you came,” Dick said. 

John sniggered. Dick slapped his arm playfully. “You know that only turns me on more?” 

“Violence?” Dick asked, and made to slap him again, but John caught his wrist easily and forced Dick onto his back, looming over him. Dick could feel John’s body, the heat of it, all the places they were touching. 

He was feeling desperate. And needy. 

“Sometimes…” John said, and his voice was only a whisper. “It’s not really pain…it’s-”

Dick pressed his free hand over John’s mouth. John’s lips were soft and a bit wet. “I don’t want to know.” But his body was straining against John’s and he was getting off on this. On John. It reminded him of that one time John had allowed him to touch his cock. And all the other times his body reacted to John’s proximity. He wanted John and he wanted John to be his first. 

John pried his hand away and pinned it down. Pinned both of Dick’s hands over his head, actually, and that – that was hot. Somehow. 

“You sure?” John asked and Dick could hear the smirk in his voice. 

“Are you trying to distract me?” Dick asked. 

“You were shivering like crazy under the covers, Dick,” John pointed out. 

“I wasn’t-”

“Yes, you were. You just didn’t seem to notice it,” John cut. 

Dick licked his lips. He wasn’t sure if John could see it, probably. It was dark in the room, but John could see in the dark just fine and they were really freaking close. “How far will you go to distract me?” He asked and his voice was so husky, so needy, so wrecked. 

John made a noise, but Dick didn’t know what it meant. He slung his legs around John’s middle, because by now it should be no surprise to John that Dick was turned on. He moved his hips just a bit. 

John’s fingers tightened around his wrists. It wasn’t really painful, but even if it had been, Dick didn’t think he would have made John stop or let go. Dick wanted to kiss him. To lick his lips and maybe – other parts of John, too. He tightened his legs around John instead and waited. John was looking at him. 

“You’re hard,” he said, which was kinda obvious. 

“Yeah,” Dick replied. “I am.” 

“Does this turn you on?” 

You turn me on, Dick wanted to say, but knew it wasn’t the right time. “Seems so?”

“You’re not sure?” John asked. 

“I am hard, John,” Dick replied, and rubbed his cock against John’s stomach. He was leaking and John could probably feel it, even if they were both in pajamas. “John…”

“Yes?” 

Kiss me. “Touch me?” Love me. 

“I-”

“Please John, I need to feel-” loved, “Connected.” Dick whispered. He couldn’t keep his hips still. The drag of his cock against the hard plains of John’s body was maddening. 

“Dick-”

“Touch me or get out so I can do it myself,” Dick hissed. He wasn’t angry, he was just so damned horny right now. 

“Are you mad at me?” 

“No, I’m scared and horny and need to feel-” Dick was cut off by John’s lips against his. 

“Alright,” John said gently. “I’ll take care of you. I’ll make you feel good.” 

Dick shivered. He couldn’t help it. John kissed him again. And Dick let him. He felt safe with John. He felt warm and he gradually melted into the bed, his legs letting go of John’s torso and splaying, making room for John between them. 

John’s fingers tightened again just a fraction, and Dick leaned into it. And then John was kissing his neck and mouthing the curve of his shoulder through the t-shirt and his free hand was stroking down Dick’s side and inwards, over his belly. It hadn’t been like this the last time. It hadn’t been so close and hot and heavy. 

“John,” Dick said, his breath hitching as John’s fingers finally found their way into his pants and then boxers. John’s fingertips grazed over the tip of Dick’s cock and Dick shuddered with the feeling of it. 

“You’re so-”

“Slick?” Dick supplied with a laugh. 

“Beautiful,” John said and Dick had to bite his lip to keep every stupid declaration of love that was at the tip of his tongue inside. 

“I want-” he started, but John curled his fingers around Dick’s cock and squeezed gently. 

“I’ve got you, Dick,” John said, kissing his jaw and cheek and then his lips again. 

John wouldn’t let him touch in return this time, Dick realized, but he was too far gone to really care. John’s hand on him felt so good. The strokes and little twists and how he spread around the pre-come to make it better, slicker, smoother. Dick arched into it. Their rhythm was nearly perfect and he wondered for a moment how it would be to look down at John, to come on his chest. Wondered if John would grab his ass tightly or pull him down into a harsh kiss. Dick had a lot of fantasies stored away in his brain about John. Some even had Bruce in them, in a vague shadowy sense, but all of them were centered on John’s pleasure. 

This here was all about him, and he should have known that it would be that way for John. With John. 

Dick struggled against John’s grip because he was close and he needed to feel John, needed to – yes, kiss John again. He moaned into John’s mouth as John sped up the strokes and then he was coming and John was saying something, but Dick couldn’t concentrate on anything but the feeling of John around him. 

John let go of him as it became too much, as Dick started to whimper, and fell on the bed on his side looking at Dick. Dick turned his head and smiled at John. 

John smiled back, but he also seemed troubled. 

Dick grinned and grabbed John’s sticky hand. 

“What-” Dick cut him off by licking his fingers. “Shit, Dick,” John said, but it was closer to a moan. “Don’t.” 

Dick rolled his eyes. “It’s my own and besides,” Dick said, “It’s not like I’ve never done it before. I’m not the little virgin that touched you in the pool all these years ago.” 

“No, you’re not,” John admitted and then moaned again when Dick sucked a bit. 

“Does that-” remind you of Bruce? But he wouldn’t bring up Bruce here. “Turn you on?” 

“Yes,” John hissed. 

“Let me-” suck you, touch you, “Watch you?” 

“Oh, god, Dick,” John said, but then he nodded and pulled away his hand so he could use it, and Dick’s come and spit to get himself off. It was one of the hottest things Dick had ever seen. 

Dick wanted to taste him, too, but he didn’t ask or try, because it would’ve freaked John out. Probably. This was good, too. Wrapping his arms around John, breathing him in, and letting John wrap his arms around him in return. They would be alright. 

And tomorrow Dick would go down into the subbasement and see what else Bruce had been hiding, and which of the toys and armor he could use to help people.


	16. Chapter 16

~fifteen~

John couldn’t sleep… he felt dirty and wrong. And like he cheated on Bruce. Dick was sleeping in his arms and John wished he could sleep too, but he needed something Dick couldn’t give him. Not now… no, he wouldn’t go there. He couldn’t. 

This was fucking with his head and his heart and all he wanted was for Bruce to come home. He pulled away from Dick’s sleeping form and headed for the bathroom. He needed to shower and cleanse himself… but he wasn’t sure of what. 

~+~

John stared at himself in the mirror and he ran his fingers over the fading hickey on his chest. He closed his eyes briefly as he remembered Bruce’s lips on him, his kiss, his touch. John moaned and he ached for Bruce to wrap his arms around him again. 

He tried to push back the emotions that threatened to overwhelm him and stepped under the spray of water… to wash away everything that he was feeling. The heat of the shower felt good, and for just a moment he felt almost human again. 

John leaned against the cool tiles and he suddenly remembered that Bruce had promised to fuck him, hard against the tiles just like he liked it when he had returned, but Bruce never did. John hit the tiled wall with his fists and immediately turned off the water. He needed some air. 

He suddenly felt trapped. 

~+~

John wasn’t sure if it was safe on the rooftop, but the surrounding areas still looked pretty deserted and he needed the fresh air… He stood near the ledge, looking out over the city. It was still hard to believe that the city was now under Bane’s reign. And that somewhere out there was the bomb and a detonator. 

He tried to focus on everything else but what he was feeling. It was easier and it didn’t hurt as much. 

“The city view isn’t as grand here as it was at that fancy restaurant you didn’t care for.” 

John startled at Miranda’s voice, he hadn't even hear her approach… but then again, he had been lost in his own thoughts. “I never understood why you kissed me that night.”

Miranda smiled, “To drive Bruce insane with jealousy, of course.” Her eyes twinkled in the moonlight and John snorted. 

“Of you or of me?”

“He wouldn’t admit it at the time, but it was of you.” She glanced over the city. “He’s an insatiable lover when you provoke his jealous streak… as I’m sure you’ve found out and explored well.”

John flushed, “Yes. Fuck.” He rubbed his neck, all the feelings he was trying to bottle up rushed out. “I miss him… he- we.” He inhaled sharply, rubbing at his eyes angrily. “It hurts so much.” 

Miranda pulled him into her arms and just held onto him. He buried his head into the crook of her neck, no longer able to keep the tears at bay. “You must have faith, John. Bruce shall return.” She supplied as they parted and John wanted to believe that. “He’s special, if anyone can, he will.”

He nodded and wondered briefly if she knew Bruce was Batman… but that was another discussion for another time. 

“But there’s something more haunting your eyes,” she stated as she let him wipe away his tears.

“Yes, no. God, I don’t know… Dick, we.” He cut himself off, not sure how to even explain what was on his mind. John still wasn’t able to wrap his mind around everything he was feeling. The comfort sex they just had. How he forced himself to hold back… after all, he was with Bruce and Dick was only sixteen and fuck. John kept trying to tell himself it was just comfort sex, but there was so much more. “Dick-”

“Loves you,” Miranda cut in. 

“Well, yeah-” John shrugged, he knew that. They’ve been like brothers for years. He loved Dick, too.

“No, John. He loves you more than just as a brother.” 

John just stared at her, unable to grasp what she was saying. “What?”

Miranda laughed lightly, shaking her head. “You’ve been playing at this game for a very long time. I wondered when you’d figure it out… but you still haven’t, have you?” 

John blinked, his heart racing at the very thought… did Dick love him like that? 

“You’re starting to feel the same in return and it’s upsetting; after all, you’re with Bruce. But Bruce isn’t here.” 

John’s heart skipped a beat and his chest squeezed so tight he couldn’t breathe. “What am I supposed to do?” He questioned, feeling even more conflicted. 

“Follow your heart.” She replied simply, but he didn’t know how to do that. 

John snorted. “My heart belongs to Bruce, I’ve loved him for as long as I can remember, I always have.” 

“As Dick loves you, it’s obvious in everything he does and says.” Miranda leaned in and kissed John’s cheek. “Talk with Dick, your love can help you through these troubling times.”

“It’s not that easy,” John grumbled. 

“Love never is,” she offered, squeezing his hand. “We should go back in, it’s late.”

He nodded and numbly followed her in. They secured the place, but he didn’t go back to his room, the one he was sharing with Dick. He was just so restless… and had too much on his mind and he wished Bruce was here again.

Bruce had had a feeling that this was happening, they had even talked about the possibility… but John had shut him up. John never even consider it as a possibility. Because he thought Dick would tell him. Fuck.

He took a deep breath, but he still felt so panicked and unsure and he really needed Bruce’s presence to guide him through this. 

Before he realized what he was doing, John found himself going back down to the subbasement, the need to be near something of Bruce’s was overwhelming and this helped a little. John breathed in the air, knowing Bruce was down here the most… he ran his fingers over some of the Bat gadgets, and it seemed to calm John a bit.

John turned to the desk and his heart skipped a beat when he found a black sweater on the chair. John smiled as he lifted it up and he could smell Bruce’s cologne. He pulled it on, feeling a little closer to Bruce. It was a small comfort, but it wasn’t enough. 

John hit a button on the desk and the computer came to life. He exhaled sharply when the screen flickered, pulling up maps of the city. It was amazing to see, but when the grandeur of it all wore off slightly, John noticed that there were three blinking dots on the screen.

Huh. 

“Hey!” John startled, turning to see Dick glaring at him as he crossed over to him. “I told you not to do that again!” 

“I’m sorry,” John immediately apologized, hating to see the panicked look in Dick’s eyes. “I couldn’t sleep.”

Dick gave him a look, sighing as he seemed to calm down a bit. “And you started without me?” Dick gestured to the screen, and John felt a little guilty for exploring more without Dick at his side. 

“I only just turned it on,” John turned his attention back to the screen. “It’s the city.” 

Dick stepped beside him and studied the map. “What are the blinking dots for?”

John shrugged, watching Dick closely… Miranda’s words repeating in his head as he tried to figure it out. “I don’t know.” 

“Well that one is at the Wayne Manor.” 

John’s gaze snapped back to the map. “Huh.” The lights continued to blink and John focused on the other two dots in the slums of the city… “Holy shit.” Where they were. 

“What?” 

“I think it’s us.” He inhaled. It made sense… “Tracking devices. Alfred, you and me.”

“Fuck.” 

“Language,” John teased and Dick snorted, shaking his head. 

“Do you really think it’s us?” Dick asked.

“I wouldn’t put it past the Batman to put tracking devices in the ones he loved… it makes sense.” John wrapped his arm around Dick and pulled Dick closer to him. A gesture he’d always considered brotherly, but now he wondered if it was something more. If it had always been something more.

“Yeah, it kinda does.” Dick turned into him, running his fingers over the sweater. “You smell like Bruce.”

John nodded, the tightness in his chest returning. “I found it on the chair and I just had to put it on.” He barely choked out, his heart aching even more.

Dick gave him a weird look and John raised a brow in question. “Are you okay?” Dick asked softly and John shrugged his shoulders. “It must be harder for you with Bruce’s disappearance.”

“It is,” John admitted, his voice tight with the emotions he was still trying hard to keep a hold of. “This is the longest we’ve been apart since we’ve been together.” He worried his lip. “I miss him, so much.” 

Dick wrapped his arms around him tightly and John returned the embrace. “He’ll be back,” Dick reassured him and John nodded, brushing his lips against Dick’s neck. 

John’s eyes widened slightly as he noticed Dick shuddering a bit, and John kissed his neck once more. John focused more on Dick’s reaction and suddenly everything just clicked. Why Dick was acting so weird when he and Bruce got together… why Dick went to Lucas. Lucas. Fuck, it was right there in front of him. 

The whole time. 

John grabbed the back of Dick’s neck, pulled him even closer and kissed him, testing him in the only way he knew how. Physically. And this time, John let himself feel something in return. He opened himself up to Dick and he should have been surprised by the feelings he felt, but he wasn’t. 

He pulled back, breathing against his lips. “It’s true… isn’t it?”

“What?” Dick was breathless, his face flushed and lips slightly swollen from the kiss. 

“That you’re in love with me… gleiches Recht für alle.” John whispered, looking at Dick with new eyes… it scared the crap out of him. His heart raced and he didn’t know what to do next. Because deep down he knew he could never deny Dick anything, he never could. But his heart would always belong to Bruce first. “This is so fucked up.”

Dick’s lips parted, eyes wide… he didn’t deny or confirm it. But John knew. 

“Fuck, Dick, were you ever going to tell me?” He questioned, suddenly feeling really hurt that Dick kept something like this from him. And it seemed like everyone knew but him. Even Bruce had an idea… and Alfred probably knew from the start.

Fuck.

John felt so many conflicting feelings and the one person he has always trusted to tell him the truth, didn’t. “When?” John demanded at little too harshly. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“I didn’t know, not until I saw you two fucking like that.” Dick rushed to explain and John’s eyes widened as he recalled that moment and what followed.

“When you came home,” he whispered as John was putting it all together. “But why didn’t you-”

“Because you were so happy and Bruce was starting to be like he was, before.” Dick argued, glancing over to the corner that held the mementos of Dick’s past… Bruce’s past. Before, with Dick’s parents. 

John dragged his fingers through his hair, taking a step away from Dick… he just needed a moment to think about this. 

“John-” Dick began and John raised a hand to silence him. 

“I just need…” he inhaled and realized he didn’t know what he needed, he felt so lost and confused and he had so many thoughts racing in his head and his heart. John closed his eyes, trying to ease the pain he was feeling. “Fuck.”


	17. Chapter 17

~sixteen~

Dick was feeling sick. He had known that this would happen once John found out. John wasn't ready to face whatever this was. And it hurt as fuck that John was removing himself from Dick's proximity. From his personal space. It had never been like this. John had never felt the need to not be in Dick's personal space bubble. 

Dick had no idea what to do. 

He looked around the basement and his gaze fell on the corner with his parents' stuff. 

John needed space and Dick could give it to him. Not too much, because...because John shouldn't think Dick was going anywhere. They had only each other right now. 

“Where are you going?” John asked. 

“I'm just going to stay in that corner until you-” love me again, he didn't say, “Can be in my personal space again,” he finished. 

“Dick-” 

“I get it. I lied to you, but I didn't want to fuck this up for you and Bruce,” Dick said. “There wasn't room for-”

“You?” 

“My feelings for you,” Dick said. He ran a hand over the table with all his parent's stuff. There were flyers and photos and all kinds of merchandise. There were other things too. He heard John sigh and then the soft creaking of the chair. John was done talking. At least for now. He needed to think. A ticket from the Metropolis museum caught Dick's eye and he pulled it out of the stack of papers. Dick remembered that day. It was shortly after he had the talk with his mom about maybe getting a baby- brother or sister. 

This wasn't only a shrine to his parents, it was a shrine to the family they were, the family they maybe would've been. With – shit Dick thought, as he pulled the ultrasound photo out, with his sister. There was a name on it in Bruce's clear handwriting. Violet Martha. Martha was Bruce's mother's name. Dick couldn't make heads or tails of the ultrasound picture, but...this had been his sister. 

“Dick?” John asked. 

Dick startled. “Yeah?” he wasn't, he couldn't look away from the picture. 

“I was trying to get your attention for- what is that?” 

“My sister,” Dick said, clutching the picture to his chest. “Violet,” he added. 

“Shit, Dick,” John said, putting his hand on Dick's shoulder. 

“He's hidden it here. I never even knew before you told me. And he had a picture. I mean...and she had a name. Mom picked it out, but-” Dick bit his lip. This was fucked up and he had no proof, but. “They wanted to name her Violet Martha,” he finished and held the picture out so that John could see the name written underneath it. 

“I don't-” 

“I was an only child. I mean, I knew they had wanted more kids, but it hadn't happened for years, and mom sometimes called me her miracle boy. I think they couldn't have any more children and then-”

“You think Violet was Bruce's baby?” John asked. His fingers were digging into Dick's shoulder a bit too hard, but Dick wasn't pulling away. 

“Yeah, I think she was Bruce's,” Dick replied. 

“I wonder what else he has hidden here,” John said. 

“A life that never came true,” Dick whispered. No wonder Bruce had shut himself off. He hadn't only lost his lovers, he had lost his child too. 

“He had lost his whole family except for you,” John said. 

“Yeah...and the thing with Rachel and Dent happened around that time too,” Dick replied. 

“It's really a wonder he had been able to function at all.”

“He wasn't functional, John. He had been a wreck. The first few weeks after my parents died, I didn’t see him at all. Alfred had to take care of me. And then...he came back, gradually. He only started to be a real person again shortly before we visited the orphanage.” 

“Where you fell in my lap,” John said fondly.

“Yeah,” Dick said and he had probably fallen in love with John that day and every day since then a bit more. He just hadn't realized it. 

“Shit,” John said. “Shit, I thought we were past all these secrets and half-truths, but it seems that it runs in the family.” 

Dick flinched and freed himself from John's grip. “Sometimes the truth hurts people, John. Look at us!” 

“I didn't mean-” 

“Yes, you did,” Dick cut in. “I'm going upstairs now. I don't think it's a good idea if you sleep – if we sleep in the same bed. At least for tonight.” 

John nodded. 

~+~

Dick was a mess the next morning. He had spent the last few hours after he went back to bed tossing and turning. 

Miranda put a mug of hot sweet tea in front of him. Dick nodded his thanks. 

Gordon was nowhere to be found. “The commissioner?” 

“Still sleeping, John?” 

“I don't know. Maybe he's working on stuff-” 

“Dick,” she said. “I know that Bruce is Batman. I know that this is one of his hideouts.” 

Dick nodded, taking a sip of tea. “I, we suspected as much. How do you know?” 

“Bruce trained with my father, Dick. It's really a no-brainer,” she winked at him as she said it. 

Dick smiled into his mug. “Yeah, I guess it isn't.” 

“Are you guys fighting?” 

“He figured out I'm in love with him and now things are weird.”

“Because he is in love with you, too?” She asked. 

Dick shrugged. “Maybe? Am I a horrible person to hope for it?” 

She put her hand on his. “No, you're not. I wished for it too with Bruce, even when I knew he was in love with John.” 

“He does care about you, Miranda. We all do. You are a part of our family.” 

“Thank you Dick, that means a lot to me.” 

“So,” Dick said, “Are you going to show me how to kick ass after breakfast?” 

She looked at him. “You want to learn how to defend yourself?” 

“That too,” Dick replied. “But I also want to be able to kick people's ass if they deserve it. And let’s face it, Bane’s men might not care about what happens in this city. They might not rape and torture the people, but those guys that they let out of the prison? They will and I want to help-” 

“Like Bruce used to help this city,” Miranda finished the sentence. 

“Yes. Will you help me? You did learn from the same people Bruce learned from. And I am young and bendy,” he winked at her. 

“Yes, you are,” she said. “And you're willing to suffer and sacrifice for other people's sake and happiness.” 

“I guess I got that from my dad. The temper? All mom.” 

She smiled. “Okay. I will teach you the ways of the League. Not my father's ways.” 

Dick nodded. “Thank you.” 

~+~

Miranda started the training sessions slow, but Dick was in very good condition. He was fast and agile and he took everything she taught him and made it his own. 

“It will take years of course, to be as good as Bruce is-”

“Or as good as you are?” Dick grinned. 

“Yes,” she replied. 

“But I’m doing okay?” 

“Yes, you are doing okay. Another few days and you will be able to defend yourself just fine. And we will need that, Dick, because we can’t hide out here.”

“I know. We need to find Mister Fox. I think he might have a clue how to stop the bomb.”

“We also need to find the bomb and the person who has the trigger.” 

“What will we do to that person?” Dick asked. He had a slight clue, but he didn’t want to really think about it. 

“Depends on how much resistance we will meet, Dick. I know Bruce doesn’t kill, but he burned down the Leagues headquarters and there were people in there as he did it. Not all of them were bad or maniacs. Bruce wasn’t. He lived with them-” 

“And he betrayed them,” Dick supplied. 

“Yes.” 

“No wonder they’re pissed off,” Dick said. He had wondered about the time before Bruce had come to train with the circus for the summer. He had wondered if Bruce would’ve sought out more teachers like Ra’s if he hadn’t fallen in love with his parents. 

Miranda smiled. “He saved my father, but he died soon after anyway.”

“Sometimes Bruce is very impulsive,” Dick said. “He didn’t think beyond how to get out of the Leagues headquarters-”

“Make no mistake, Dick. They would have killed him for betraying them. He knew about the League and he wasn’t willing to do what needed to be done. There is only one way you leave the League of Shadows.” 

“In a coffin,” Dick said, rather tonelessly. 

“Yes.” 

“But you are here.” 

“I ran and Ra’s was my father. He loved me,” Miranda said. 

“But the League came first?” 

“Yes,” she said, “The League came first. Come on, once again from the top?” 

“Sure,” Dick said and started his katas and then he sparred with her. She had him pinned down in a matter of minutes, but he thought he would be able to kick an untrained person’s ass alright. 

“You should ask John to join us, Dick.” 

“We aren’t good together right now,” Dick replied. He was sweating and breathing a bit too hard for his liking. He needed more training. 

“I know, you said as much Dick, but we need to stick together now. I hoped you would have figured this out already.”

“I wonder why now, how did he-” and he looked at Miranda. She had known. “You told him.”

“Guilty, I admit,” she replied. “I thought he knew. I thought he had to know because he is smart and he is falling in love with you, too.” 

“His heart belongs to Bruce first and once Bruce is back John will probably tell him we had sex – got off together and Bruce will forgive him, because this is an unusual situation. And they will live happily ever after.” 

“And what happens to you in this scenario? Will you suffer seeing them together, knowing that John is in love with you too? That he is suppressing a part of himself?”

“Like I did for so long?” Dick asked. 

“Yes,” Miranda replied, stroking his arm. “It didn’t make you happy.” 

“John knowing and freaking out on me doesn’t make me happy either, Miranda.”

“He will come around, Dick. He does love you.” 

“I know.” 

“We can’t have secrets, Dick. Not now.” 

“Except those we keep from Gordon,” Dick said. 

She sighed. “I wish we could tell him too, but it’s not our secret to tell. Not our place.” 

“Don’t you think he will wonder where we’re disappearing to? And why there are suddenly people using Batman’s toys?” 

“Perhaps. If he figures it out and asks, we won’t lie about it. Deal?” Miranda asked. 

“Deal,” Dick grinned. “Another round before dinner?” 

“With pleasure.” 

~+~

Dick fell into the bed exhausted after the day training and talking with Miranda. He felt his muscles ache in a good way. He was finally feeling like things were moving forward. Soon he hoped he would be able to get out and check on Timothy and the other boys in the orphanage. There were other safe houses Bruce had in the city. There was food there too. They should get it and maybe share at least a part. 

Miranda was sure Bane wouldn’t let people starve, but Dick didn’t have that much faith in Bane. 

Winter was coming and rich people were losing their homes. Not only businessmen, but also old people, frail and sick people. Kids. 

Dick had been terrified at the prospect of losing the manor. A home was a home, no matter how old, or big. Or small. It wasn’t right to throw people out in the name of – revolution? Dick didn’t know. And he would fight this. He would help the sick and rich and poor. 

“There isn’t armor down there that will fit you, you know?” John asked from the door. 

“We have to do something,” Dick replied sitting up in bed. 

“I don’t want you to run around while Bane’s men are looking for us, Dick.” 

“I will wear a mask-”

“That didn’t do Bruce any good, did it? Bane knew. And he will know it’s you. Bruce will kill me if I let something happen to you. You will stay put.” 

“You can’t make me!” Dick said sharply. “We have the means to help people. You will be going out with Gordon tomorrow and gather whoever is willing to help fight this. I won’t stay here and wait – I won’t watch from afar-”

“Dick, I’m not going to die,” John said gently. 

“You don’t know that. Bruce could be dead. We could be on our own and you still-” he cut himself off. 

“What do you want from me, Dick?” John asked and he sounded weary. 

“For you to love me-”

“I do.” 

“And to touch me, kiss me, fuc-”

“Don’t say it,” John interrupted. 

“To fuck me. To be with me and not feel guilty about it. I don’t want to make you unhappy, but I can’t make my love leave my heart just because you aren’t comfortable with how I feel, how you feel about me.” 

“You’ve never been with a guy-”

“I’ve been with you. Twice.” 

“And I know you don’t want to be ‘fucked’. You wouldn’t like it. Not how I like it. You might find the thought exciting, but the reality of it would probably freak you out.” 

Dick bit his lip. It was true. The thought was exciting, yes, but also scary. The way Bruce had fucked John, the way he was rough and controlling. Dick didn’t think he wanted that. He didn’t think he wanted for people to be with him that way.   
“I know you can be gentle too, John.” 

“Yes,” John nodded, “But I also need to be taken, manhandled, and fucked hard sometimes and Bruce can-”

“Give you both,” Dick finished. “I see.” 

“Dick.”

“It’s alright, John. I won’t die of a broken heart. And once I’m on the streets I can take out my frustration on anyone who deserves to get their ass kicked.”

“I can’t talk you out of this, can I?” 

“You can’t take everything away, John and I think – just for a while I don’t want you to kiss me and touch me and stuff- because I am in love with you and I will respond and I will drag you to this bed and make you touch me. And I know I’m good looking and fit. I will use your love for me and your desire for my body to have you. Better not tempt me.” 

“Shit,” John said. His voice was a bit breathy. 

“This turned you on? My little speech about how I will use everything I have to make you come?” 

“That paired with the awesome body,” John joked. 

“Want to hear some of my fantasies involving you?” Dick asked. He knew he was on dangerous ground, but he had warned John. It wasn’t his fault John didn’t take him seriously. 

“Better not, Dick,” John answered, but it sounded to Dick like ‘not yet', or not 'right now.’ Maybe not everything was lost yet. 

“Good night, John,” Dick said. 

“Good night, Dick,” John replied and closed the door behind him.

John, Dick thought, was dealing and that was a good thing.


	18. Chapter 18

**~seventeen~**

John nursed his cup of tea. He couldn’t sleep and he had dragged himself out of bed. He hated sleeping alone… it only made him miss Bruce more and ache for what Dick was offering him. John was exhausted and he desperately craved the sanctuary that sleep could give him. 

His mind wouldn’t rest and all he could think of was Dick and Bruce and the tangled web he was caught in. He loved Bruce, needed him, and yet… Dick. 

“You need to get your rest, son.” 

John startled slightly, looking up at Gordon. “Shouldn’t you be the one resting?” He countered, taking another sip of his tea. He grimaced as he realized it was cold and sighed, rubbing his face. 

“I think I’ve rested enough over the last few weeks.” He stated as he sat down across from him, studying John. “What’s on your mind?” John shrugged not wanting to get into what was haunting his thoughts. “Son, this isn’t the time to keep things bottled up. You need your head on straight for us to win this fight.”

John groaned, placing his head down on the table. “I’m so screwed… and you don’t need to hear all my dirty baggage.”

“Why don’t you let me decide that?” 

John closed his eyes, his chest was feeling tight. He’s never been one to talk about his thoughts and feelings, but maybe that was just what he needed. “I dunno.” 

Gordon nodded, sitting back in his chair. “You are a strong young man and I’ve seen you grow in the time I’ve known you. You’re smart and I wish all my men had the heart and dedication that you do.” 

“Fuck,” John inhaled sharply, tears stinging his eyes… no one has ever spoke of him like that, so proudly. “I’m not used to hearing stuff like that.”

“You should hear it more often.” 

“Thanks, I-” John rubbed at his eyes, “Dick loves me and I don’t, I mean… god.” 

Gordon smiled, “Yes, it’s pretty obvious that’s he’s in love with you. Miss Tate and I have discussed what this might bring for you two. You love him too, I’d wager.” 

John blinked, it never occurred to him that they would have talked about them. Was it that fucking obvious? He took a deep breath… he wasn’t even sure where to begin. “I don’t know what to do. I keep thinking that this is all my fault, that his feelings for me aren’t as true as they could be.” 

“What do you mean?” Gordon frowned.

“I was his first… he was young and he was curious and I let him, we got off.” John stumbled over his words. “I do love him, I always will… but I’m with Bruce and I love him too.”

“But Bruce isn’t here.” 

John nodded and he recalled that Miranda had said the same thing…they really must be talking about them. It was kinda weird, but he guessed that they needed that too, an outlet. 

“I really don’t have much to offer on the matters of love, I wasn’t able to keep my own marriage together.” Gordon sighed, rubbing his neck. “But I have found that talking is the key and I wish I had figured that out sooner.”

“I’m not so good with that,” he whispered. “And I’m afraid he’ll look at me differently if he knew the truth.” 

“The truth?” 

“Bruce doesn’t even know the whole story.” John stood, dragging his fingers through his hair. “Thanks, I’m gonna try to lay down for a bit. Then we’ll head out?” 

Gordon nodded, “Sounds like a plan.” 

John headed in the direction of his room, but he didn’t even attempt to try and go to sleep. Instead, he made his way down to the subbasement. He really liked it down there, it made him feel closer to Bruce. He ran his fingers over a few of the gadgets before he turned back toward the desk. 

John sat down, leaning back in the chair. He yawned, closing his eyes for just a second. 

~+~

“John!” 

John startled awake, inhaling sharply. “What?”

“Mr. Gordon’s looking for you.” 

John rubbed at his face, not really expecting to fall asleep. “Yeah, okay.” He stood, turning to Dick. He looked like shit and John knew it was mostly his fault… he was the one that had pulled away first. 

“What?” Dick scrunched up his face and John pulled him into a hug. Dick stiffened slightly at first and then he simply melted against him. “John.”

“You look like shit.” 

“So do you.” 

John pulled back, “I haven’t been able to sleep.” 

Dick nodded, “Yeah, me too.” 

He wanted to say more, to give Dick everything he wanted… but he was still confused. “Are you going to train with Miranda today?” 

Dick nodded once more, “You know, you can join us if you want to.” 

John had figured that he’d be able to and he wanted to, but he had to see through this thing with Gordon first. “Yeah, later, okay?” 

“Okay.” 

John groaned, he hated this. He felt awkward and all he really wanted to do was pull Dick into his arms and not have to feel so alone anymore. John glanced at the desk, touching one of the files that he pulled out of the desk earlier to investigate. “Okay.” 

“Did you find anything else?” Dick questioned as he stepped closer, picking up one of the files and jumping back when papers fluttered to the ground. 

“I haven’t even looked through them yet,” John began as he rushed to pick up the papers. When he noticed his name on one of them, he paused to read it. “Fuck.” He breathed, his hands shaking as he clutched the paper tighter in his hand. 

“What is it?” 

John just stared at the paper, his heart racing. It couldn’t be. “I think they’re adoption papers.” 

“Adoption papers?” Dick repeated as he grabbed for them and John let them go. “I remember my mom asking me about that once. If I would love an older brother and…” Dick’s voice trailed off as he looked at the paper and then back at John. “You, they wanted to adopt you.”

John felt his breathing hitch and he stumbled back onto the chair. “Oh, god.” His world was crumbling around him, again and everything he knew was… fucked up even more.

“John.” Dick’s voice felt so far away, but John could feel his hands on his shoulder and then he felt Dick’s lips on his. 

John gasped at the sensation, but it was exactly what he needed to focus himself. It was like Dick knew him better than he knew himself. He moaned as he pulled Dick closer, deepening it with a flick of his tongue. He needed this, it grounded him and he felt a little safer… if only for a moment. They parted to breathe and John looked into Dick’s brilliant blue eyes. 

“Hey.” 

“Hey,” John whispered as he took the papers from Dick’s hand and read them again. “Your parents wanted to adopt me… I never knew.” His heart squeezed tight and he wondered how his life would have been if they did. “Looks like there was a court date set, they just needed a judge to sign off on it.”

Dick glanced at it, his face paling. “That was a month after...” 

“Fuck.” John inhaled, not needing for him to explain any further. His heart ached and he tugged Dick closer, wrapping his arms around him. “We would’ve been brothers… that would have been awkward with the current situation.”

Dick curled more into him and it felt good to have Dick in his arms again. “Yeah.” 

“Do you think you would have still been in love with me?” John questioned, kissing his brow. 

“I dunno, I’d think so.” 

John closed his eyes, he would have liked to have been adopted, especially by the Graysons. To be in a real family, that really wanted him. He remembered Mary fondly; she would have been a good mother to him. And they would have pulled him out of the last foster family he was in, the Linds… where he had been abused for months, before he had run away.

John shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. That future never happened… and if it did, he’d never would have had a chance with Bruce. It was for the best. He couldn’t see a future without Bruce and Dick at his side.

“You okay?” Dick questioned a moment later. 

John nodded. “I would’ve wanted that, a real home. But then I’d never would have been with Bruce or-”

“Me?” Dick finished, his eyes full of hope and John nodded. 

“Yeah.” John was still confused about all this, but he knew he needed Dick in his life. “Yeah,” he kissed him softly, like he knew Dick needed and wanted. 

“Are we gonna be okay?” Dick asked, tucking his head back against his chest. It reminded him of when Dick was younger and things seemed so much simpler. 

“I have no fucking clue.” John confessed. “You’re young and I keep feeling guilty… that the only reason you are in love with me is because of what happened between us in the pool when you were younger.”

“But-”

“No, Dick. I’m serious… you were so young and impressionable. And Bruce was right, it was abuse in a way.” 

“I started it,” Dick insisted, pulling away. “You didn’t do-”

“It happened to me Dick,” John confessed, cutting Dick off. “There was this boy, my foster brother. He was older and he was intense and he made me think that I wanted it. And I was so young and horny and confused and I initiated it, or I thought I did. I touched him… and he made me feel so special until he wanted more and he hurt me, Dick. He abused me for months and I thought it was okay.” 

Dick’s eyes widened and John could see all the questions forming in his head. “Oh.” 

John sighed. “I was angry and hurt and I ran away and I had to find myself again. I eventually went back to the orphanage and lived my life.” And then Dick had dropped into his life, literally. 

“You didn’t hurt me, John. You accepted me and you loved me.” Dick smiled, cupping John’s face in his hand. “You still love me. There’s room for both of us, Bruce and I, in your heart.”

“I know,” John closed his eyes. “I just need time, okay.”

“We may not have-”

“Don’t.” John inhaled, not wanting to even consider the fact that they may not have time. But that wasn’t the only reason John wanted to take things slowly… Dick was considered underage in the eyes of the law. “And fuck, Dick you’re underage. I can get into a lot of trouble… I’m a police officer.”

Dick frowned. “I’m not a kid anymore! I’m not even a virgin, John. Hell, I’m almost seventeen.” 

“Dick, I just need time.” He rubbed his nose lightly against Dick’s in an Eskimo kiss. “I better go up before Gordon heads out without me.” 

Dick nodded as they pulled apart. And John knew he wanted to push it, but he also accepted that John needed more time.

~+~

Getting out on the streets was just the thing that John needed. It felt good, like he was actually doing something. Gordon took the west side and he took the east. They would meet back at the safe house.

He took his time, partly because he kinda liked being alone with a job to do and they had to be a little sneaky not to be seen my Bane’s henchmen. It was challenging, but exhilarating at the same time. He almost felt like Batman, protecting and scouting over his city… their city. 

John raised a brow as he saw a boy, maybe a little older than Dick, run past him. He winked at John before he disappeared around the corner and John ducked into the shadows as one of Bane’s men ran down the street in pursuit, but he had lost his way and had turned left instead of after the boy. 

“Huh.”

John waited only a moment before he followed after the boy, he was curious. He inhaled a lungful of smoke and coughed, practically gagging as he rounded the corner. He grabbed the cigarette from the boy’s mouth and immediately put it out.

“Hey, man!” 

John snorted, “These things will kill you.”

“Think Bane’s men will do it a bit quicker.” He answered, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Not from what I could see,” John smiled and the boy smirked at him. “Got a name?”

“Jason,” he shrugged his shoulder. “You took my smoke, you owe me one.”

“How old are you?” 

Jason raised a brow, “Why, you interested?” He spread out his arms and leaned back against the brick wall, thrusting his hips at him as he studied John intently. “Hey… don’t I know you?” 

“I-”

“Yeah, you’re in all the magazine… you’re fucking that Wayne guy.” 

John felt his face flush and he shook his head. “Something like that.” 

“Wayne’s fucking you, huh?” He smirked. “Nice.” 

“You didn’t answer my question.” John countered, not wanting to get into the details about his personal life with this kid. 

“Old enough,” Jason winked at him. “See ya around… you owe me a smoke.”

John rolled his eyes. “Watch yourself.”

“Oh, I’m good.” He smiled as he darted down the street and John watched him go. The kid reminded him of himself at this age… he’d have to look out after him. 

John glanced around the deserted street and turned to go back to the safe house… it was sure an interesting outing. He hoped to do it again soon and he kinda hoped that he’d see Jason again. John had a feeling he needed a mentor of some sort. He had the Batman, now he hoped he’d be able to help Jason too. 

If John was being honest, it was just a nice distraction if anything. For just a moment he had forgotten everything else. It was kinda nice. He almost felt human again.


	19. Chapter 19

**~eighteen~**

Dick knew Miranda would have his back, but he was still a bit nervous about going out. She was right, he needed to learn the streets. 

He needed to know all the good places to hide and disappear, roads that were blocked, underground tunnels and connections between basements. 

What he needed was a fucking guide he thought, bitterly. He could just activate the tracker and she would get him, but he wanted to make her proud and find his way to the R- point alone. The city looked different by night. Not really scarier, just different and it was mostly empty. People stayed at home, at least those who had a home. 

He vowed to drop by at the orphanage as soon as he could. He needed to make sure the kids were alright and that they had enough food and that the heat was still working. He wanted to bring Tim the cookies he found in the safe house too. 

“You look lost,” a voice said. 

Dick turned around, cursing in his head for getting distracted in the first place. He could just barely make out a figure in the shadows. It was a big man, Dick didn't think he was one of Bane's men. He wished he had brought the night-lenses with him. He really needed to put together some kind of armor. 

“I'm fine,” Dick said. Shit, he thought, it was this creepy feeling at the back of his neck. Like at his birthday party when Mister Morris had tried to- he wasn't going to think about it. 

“Don't be shy now. A pretty thing like you should be watched and kept – safe,” the man said coming closer. 

The small pause made Dick shiver. This man, he was a bad man. Dick knew it in his bones. So Dick ran and then man took after him. 

As he was running, and he was fucking fast, he remembered that he had trained with one of the best and Miranda was small too. Still, she would've have kicked the guy's ass. 

Someone grabbed his arm hard and he was yanked into a dark doorway. He swore and then there was a hand over his mouth and he was struggling. 

“Hey, it's alright,” a boy's voice said. “You'll be fine.” 

And Dick relaxed a bit until the boy took his hand away. They waited in the dark, listening for the footsteps, and as they could be sure they were alone, Dick exhaled and turned around. 

“Thanks.” 

“I hate those types. I wish I could just blow their kneecaps out or castrate them,” the boy spat. 

Dick nodded. He had the same feelings toward people who preyed on children. Not that he thought of himself as a kid, but – he looked young. And John had been abused, anger swelled up in him and nearly choked him. 

The boy grabbed his face in his hands and looked at him. “Breathe. Just breathe,” he said gently and Dick did. He breathed, watching the boy's mouth as he breathed in tandem with Dick. He had pretty lips. The boy smirked as he noticed Dick's gaze on his mouth. “You want a taste?” 

“No, I no. I'm fine,” Dick said and smiled. “I'm Dick.” 

“Really?” 

“I think it's bold,” Dick replied. 

“It is bold, especially for someone who is also a queer,” the boy said. 

Strangely it didn't sound like a bad word coming from the boy. “I like girls too.” 

“Ah...equal opportunity. I like that,” the boy said. “I'm Jason.” 

“Nice to meet you,” Dick said. 

Jason laughed softly. ”Good manners too, hmm? Maybe I should keep you?” 

Dick studied him for a few seconds. “I don't think you are into boys?” 

“Maybe I'm into you right now,” Jason replied. 

Dick grinned. “I'm taken.” 

“Damn shame,” Jason said, but he was grinning again. “I'll escort you home.” 

“No, I'm fine-” he bit his lip. “I need a guide: I don't know this city at all.” 

“Knew you weren't from here. You swore in a language I haven't learned.” 

“German,” Dick said. “I was living overseas for a while.” 

“And you came home just in time for this clusterfuck?” 

“Seems so. Show me the city?” 

“Where do you want to go?” 

Dick told him. 

~+~

Miranda was worried once he showed up at the R-Point. 

“I got lost,” he confessed. 

“But you found your way eventually,” she replied. She was dressed in dark clothes and her hair was covered by a hat. She didn’t look like the glamorous woman Dick knew, or thought he knew so well. She was someone else now. She wasn’t Miranda Tate. 

“You look different,” he said, but what he meant was that she felt different. 

“Miranda isn’t useful here,” she replied. 

“That isn’t your real name, is it?” 

She flashed him a smile. “My mother named me Talia, but I am Miranda now.”

“It must be hard to have two people inside,” Dick said. 

“Sometimes it is, I thought I left Talia behind, but now I need her more than I need Miranda. I’m trying to merge them.” 

“Will you call yourself Milia then?” Dick grinned. 

She ruffled his hair. “You,” she said and didn’t follow it up with anything. 

“Let’s go home. I want to go to the orphanage tomorrow,” Dick said. He wanted to give Tim the cookies and he would met up with Jason there too. Jason could be useful. He knew this city very well and he was smart and funny. And Dick thought, he really needed a friend his freaking age.

“Are you tired?” 

“A bit. Had to run, because a guy was chasing me-”

“Dick, are you okay?” 

“It wasn’t one of Bane’s men,” Dick said, waving it away. 

“So, you could’ve taken him?” 

“Probably,” Dick admitted. 

“But you didn’t? Why didn’t you?” 

“Because I was afraid. I froze up, Miranda. I know I suck.” 

She grabbed him and pulled him close. “You don’t suck. It’s only natural. You will get there. I know you will. I’m just glad you’re alright.” 

“I am, and next time, when I see that scumbag, I will hurt him,” Dick said. 

She hugged him tighter. “Let’s go home.” 

~+~

Dick made room for John in the bed without even thinking about it. He knew John needed time to process, but it was hard to sleep alone and they both needed their strength. Besides he was too tired to do anything anyway. 

“Miranda told me you had-”

“A freak out, yeah. I did. I know I could’ve kicked his ass, but I just ran anyway,” Dick cut in. He bit his lip. He wasn’t sure he should tell John about the man, because John had more issues about this than Dick himself. Nothing happened to Dick, but John had been abused as a kid. No wonder he had been so fierce back then when Morris tried to molest Dick. 

“Don’t,” John said. “I am tired of secrets and half-truths.” 

Dick nodded and turned to look at John in the dark. He did look tired, but also beautiful. Dick’s heart ached. He would do anything for John. 

“He was a big man and he had a taste for boys. Young boys, maybe girls too. It freaked me out the way he looked at me, the things he said. And I ran and now a kid my age or younger could’ve fallen prey to that scumbag, because I didn’t teach him a lesson, because I was afraid-”

John pressed a finger to his lips. Dick exhaled slowly. “You had flashbacks to the night of your birthday and you felt afraid again, right?” 

“Yes,” Dick said. “Do you feel that way all the time?” 

“No,” John answered, “But I do get very angry sometimes. I try to avoid triggers, but you can’t always do that and I am better now. You don’t have to feel angry at yourself. I am sure you will see that guy again and then you can kick him where it hurts the most.” 

“We don’t have prisons, they need to know that they can’t get away with things like that John. So they don’t drag kids into a basement room where they won’t be found for days or weeks or ever.” The prospect was frightening. What had Bane been thinking to let out rapists and pedophiles? In a city that didn’t have a police force anymore? This was terror. Pure terror. Dick couldn’t help the shiver and John hugged him closer. 

“We will fight for them, Dick. You and Miranda and I and Gordon and the men that are willing to do their job anyway. Despite the circumstances and threats.” 

“You need to train with us, John. Gordon too,” Dick said. “I know he has a gun and all, but he isn’t that young anymore. Gotham has been quiet for years. And you…”

“Yeah, I know. I am not fit to take Bruce’s place.” 

“No one is, except Miranda maybe,” Dick grinned. “Imagine that? Miranda Tate, avenging Batgirl.” 

“She would be a Batwoman, Dick,” John said, mock sternly. 

“Sure,” Dick replied easily. “Badass is what she is already.” 

“True,” John said. “Are you okay now? Can you sleep?” 

“I met a boy today,” Dick blurred out. He felt John stiffen for a second. “It’s not like that. I mean he’s good looking and all, but he isn’t really into guys I think and-” he took a deep breath. “I think, I miss having friends like I used to in Germany, you know?” 

“You mean uncomplicated friendships,” John said. 

“Yeah, that. I love you and I know you are my friend John. I tell you everything, but sometimes it’s hard to talk about you with you, you know?” 

“And sometimes you want to feel like the kid you are, hmm?” 

“Yeah,” Dick admitted. “I do. And I know the timing is more than really bad, but also: you don’t know when and where you’ll meet people you can connect with.” 

“True enough,” John said. “What’s his name then?” 

“Jason and I’m gonna met him tomorrow after I’ve checked on the kids at the orphanage.” 

“Jason…” John said. “Pretty? And a bit mouthy?” 

“Well, yeah…you met him?” 

“I owe him a smoke,” John said and told Dick the story. 

“You approve of him,” Dick said. 

“I do and it’s good to know he cares for random, even if obviously pretty, strangers,” John teased. 

Dick wanted to kiss him for that, but he held it back. “Hey, none of that now,” John said and kissed him instead. It was soft and gentle and Dick wondered if John needed it to be more. So he deepened the kiss a bit and rolled on top of John, pinned him down the way Miranda showed him and kissed John harder until he had to stop and breathe. “Dick-”

Dick increased the pressure on John’s wrists and John moaned low. It made Dick hard, hearing that, tasting John, it – he ground down against John’s stomach. “Can you feel that? That’s what you do to me.” 

“Shit, Dick-”

“What? Don’t? Do? You started it: you kissed me and you had to know that,” he took a breath. “I warned you.” 

“I’m reckless,” John said and surged up to kiss Dick. It was hard and hot and kinda clumsy, but so good. “Let go Dick,” John said and Dick did because there were lines he would not ever cross. John didn’t let him go away, he sat up so Dick was in his lap and kissed him again. “Like this? Just this, okay?” 

Dick nodded, his fingers tangled in John’s hair and John’s hands were running up and down Dick’s legs and sides. He rocked a bit into John and John’s hands tighten on his hips and then he rocked back. They didn’t stop kissing while they were rocking into each other. Dick couldn’t even make himself care that they weren’t naked and that it would be so much better if they were, because every hard brush of John’s cock against his made heat flare in his veins and brought him closer to orgasm. 

He bit John’s lip accidentally as his orgasm crashed over him suddenly. John didn’t stop kissing him, but now it was his cheek and his neck and he was still rocking into Dick, chasing his own release.

Dick couldn’t help the shiver and shaky moan when he felt John spill between them. He clung to John, breathing and breathing John in. John hummed against his skin. Dick didn’t know how to express how John made him feel, how this kind of sex made him feel: safe and warm and loved. He kissed John instead again and stroked his sides aimlessly until John smiled and shimmed down so they could lie close, wrapped up in each other. 

“Sleep now,” John said and Dick nodded. 

“Night, John.” 

“Night, Dick,” John replied and Dick closed his eyes and fell asleep. 

~+~

When he woke up John was still there, awake and looking at him. 

“What?” He asked, rubbing at his eyes. He felt good, relaxed like he hadn’t been in some time. 

“Maybe I should train with Miranda, she sure as hell knows what she’s doing,” John said. 

“She does and I-” he stopped. 

“What?” 

“I wanted to say that I’ll promise not to use any of the moves she showed me in bed, but – that would be a lie.” 

“I like your moves,” John said and kissed his forehead. Dick hummed. “Come on now, shower. Breakfast, training and then you’re going to see Tim and Jason, right?” 

“Yeah,” Dick said stretching. “What about you and the Commissioner?” 

“Going to make a plan on how to find the bomb and then maybe the person who has the trigger.” 

“I don’t think he would give it away to a random person. It must be someone whom he trusts.” 

“Yeah…Miranda can probably make a list of subjects.” 

“Think so too,” Dick said and got up. “First shower! See you at breakfast!” 

John threw a cushion at him, but Dick felt it and leaned away. “You are good,” John said, something like awe and pride in his voice. 

Dick wanted to be better. 

~+~

Dick didn’t linger long at the orphanage, because he was afraid to endanger the kids. Tim had nodded as he got the news and then he had smiled as Dick gave him the cookies. Dick just had to hug him then. Tim had stiffened for a few seconds before he had melted into it. 

Dick was very aware he was getting attached and fast. 

“So, you care for the orphans, hmm?” Jason said, exhaling smoke. 

“I am, I was…I don’t know. But yeah, because my parents are dead too,” Dick said. 

“So, you were adopted?” Jason asked. 

“Yes, but my guardian – he’s missing,” Dick answered, and choked a bit on the words. 

“Hey,” Jason said, exhaling smoke. “He’ll be alright.” 

“It’s cute how you try to make me feel better, Jay,” Dick said. Jason raised an eyebrow at him. “What? Dick said. 

“Jay?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t-”

“It’s fine. You can call me that,” Jason replied. He put his butt out under his shoe and looked at Dick.  
“So, ready for a stroll through the city?” 

“Yeah, lead the way,” Dick said grinning. 

Jason grinned right back. 

~+~

The city was a maze, but when Jason pointed out things, short cuts, patterns it became something more. Dick was making a map in his head and he and Jason were playing a game. Jason would spin him and tell him to go find a place he showed him hours before and then leave Dick alone. 

Jason was always there first and would show Dick another shortcut. It was fun. 

Until he found himself in an alley with the man again. The mean one. 

“Thought I would see you again, pretty boy,” he said. 

Everything in Dick wanted to run and it was getting late. He had the urge to look around, but didn’t. There was no one else here and he was trapped. Behind him a wall, before him the man that grinned that horrible grin. 

“Leave me alone,” Dick said. His voice sounded firm to his own surprise. He knew Jason would come looking for him sooner or later. He balled his hands to fists as the man laughed. 

“I like the ones with fire in their veins,” he said, coming closer. 

He took a deep breath. “Leave me alone. This is your last warning.”

“Attitude? I don’t like so much, but you will learn your place, boy,” the man said, looking at Dick like he was a piece of meat. 

Dick got angry. Really fucking angry and as the man approached and tried to touch him, he did what Miranda had shown him. It came naturally this time. And the man wasn’t trained, he hadn’t expected Dick to fight, not like this at least. It took only minutes and the man was on his knees and holding his stomach, his groin too and Dick kicked him in the ribs because it felt good and because he knew that this man had abused kids before. 

“Shit,” Jason said and Dick looked up. “Shit…” 

Dick stepped away from the man on the ground. “He attacked me.” 

“I believe that in a freaking heartbeat, but – shit,” Jason said again. 

“Don’t tell anyone,” Dick said. 

“Tell them what? Tell who?” 

“I don’t know,” Dick replied, running a hand through his air. 

“That looked vicious, you okay?” Jason asked. 

“Yeah, I’m fine now,” Dick replied. 

“No one will care. You know?” 

“I know, but I don’t want him to wake up and get away. I need to-”

“Hey, come here?” 

Dick nodded and stepped over the man and to where Jason was. Jason took his hand and squeezed. “I know someone who will take care of this. He doesn’t like scumbags who try to rape children.”

“Police?” Dick asked. 

Jason shook his head. “Nah…” He looked away. 

“The mob?” 

“Nah,” Jason laughed. 

“Oh…Bane’s man?” 

“Guy’s okay. Reasonable. You know?” 

“No, I don’t. Because they’re the ones who freed these monsters and they’re the ones who killed Doctor Pavel on live television-”

“Are you done? Will I have to wear a red ‘A’ now on my chest?” Jason sneered and crossed his arms over his chest. “Sleeping with the enemy and all?” 

“Are you?” Dick asked. 

Jason sighed. “NO, he just took a shine to me. I guess.” 

“What’s his name?” 

“So you can drop mine when you’re in trouble?” Jason asked, looking pointedly at the man in the alley. 

“I’m curious.” 

“I call him B,” Jason said. “He doesn’t punish kids. He drags scumbags, like this one, to the court.” 

Dick looked at the man. The court would mean death. He wasn’t sure. “I don’t know-”

“You are a soft-hearted one, aren’t you?”

“The court means certain death, Jay,” Dick said. 

“You think this scumbag deserves to live?” Jason challenged. 

“I do,” Dick replied. 

Jason sighed. “I’ll let B know you think he should be punished for his crimes. I can’t promise anything. He hates such people.” 

Dick nodded. There was really nothing else to do. Dick couldn’t let him run free. He’ll have to talk with John and Gordon about this later. They needed a plan for this, because executing people was not something Dick was comfortable with. 

“Thank you, Jay,” Dick said. 

“Come on, we need to get out of here,” Jason replied. 

“I don’t feel like playing anymore today, if it’s alright with you.” 

“It is,” Jason said. 

“Where are you staying anyway?” Dick asked. 

Jason winked at him. “With a nice older woman.”

“Jay.” 

“I’ll be fine,” Jason replied. “But if you should find a few cookies, chocolate, or something with nuts, I would not scoff at them.” 

“Duly noted,” Dick said. He would get Jason whatever the hell he could.


	20. Chapter 20

**~nineteen~**

John blew into his hands, trying to warm them up. It was getting colder and the nights were getting longer… and they weren’t ready. He had started training with Dick and Miranda, but he just wasn’t as good as them. 

Dick flourished under her tutelage, not shocking since he had an acrobat’s body… he was trained to fly through the air. John felt like a lead balloon when he tried to do the more intricate moves and he had to practice twice as much. But he didn’t have the time to perfect every move…they had to move forward. 

John felt a shift in the air and he stiffened, ready to attack the best way he knew how. He was to meet up with Dick, but the timing felt off.

“How’s my pretty birdie?” 

John relaxed as Selina’s voice washed over him and he turned to her. Even in these conditions, she still looked stunning. “Where have you been tucked away?” 

She smiled, her dark hair framing her face… she looked almost angelic. “I have my ways.” 

John chuckled, shaking his head. He wanted to yell at her, he wanted to be mad at her, but he didn’t feel it. In all honesty it was so good to see her alive and well. John pulled her into his arms and gave her a hug. 

She stiffened slightly at first and then relaxed, returning the gesture… she had always been a little skittish of displays of true affection. Selina could work it and he knew she did, they all did. It was a curse of their childhood. 

“Have you had any word?” She asked as she pulled away, placing a hand over his heart. 

He closed his eyes, his heart aching. “No.” 

“I’m-,” her voice wavered and John knew that the next words would be, I’m sorry, but he shook his head and pressed a finger to her lips. 

“Don’t.” He also knew that she meant it, but he didn’t want to hear it. She was the reason Bruce wasn’t at his side and he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to forgive her for betraying Bruce and saving her own neck. But he couldn’t hate her.

She nodded, pulling away from him. She glanced over the city, “He’s looking for you.” 

John frowned as he crossed his arms over his chest. He scoffed, “What the fuck does Bane want with me?” He had an idea, but better to cover his basis. 

Selina shrugged, her lips curling up in a smirk. “Word on the street is he’s curious about you… guess your lover boy expressed his love for you, for his city, and for his son.” She paused, looking him over. “He understands the latter two, but not you.” 

John nodded. He figured as much.

Selina smiled, running her fingers through his hair. “Be careful, John.”

“You too.” 

He wanted to ask her where she was staying, what she’s been doing since the occupation began… he had heard that she had been arrested, but if she was here with him, it meant that they put her in Blackgate and she was freed with the others. He shuddered at the thought and immediately grabbed her into another hug. 

“I’ll be fine,” she insisted as she pressed a kiss to his cheek and began to pull away.

“Oh, hey, you’re the hot girl from the party!” 

John startled slightly not even hearing his approach. Dick was getting really good at this sneaky, ninja shit. “Dick, this is Selina. Selina, Dick.” 

Selina’s eyes widened, arching a brow. “Ah, yes. J’s talked a lot about you.” 

“Jay?” Dick grinned. “You’re the older woman?” He laughed, shaking his head. “Figures.” 

John looked between them. “Jay? Oh…” he snorted as he put the pieces together. “I should have guessed you’d take him in.” 

Selina grinned, “I have a weakness for talented sticky fingers.” 

Dick pulled a small rectangular box from under his jacket and John raised a brow as he handed it to Selina. “For Jay.” 

Selina nodded, plucking the box from his hand and shaking it. “Cookies?” She smirked. “I think I love you, little bird.” Selina winked, leaning in and kissing his cheek. 

Dick giggled, cheeks flushing. And it was so good to hear him giggle… it has been so long since he heard him do so. It has been a trying time for all of them. 

“It’s turning out to be a good night,” she winked at them and then tucked the box into her coat, before dashing away. 

John leaned against the wall. “Cookies for Jay? Should I be jealous?” He teased and Dick shook his head, he looked good with the rosy cheeks and John wanted to lean in and kiss him… it was such a conflicting feeling, especially just after seeing Selina and being vividly reminded about the loss of Bruce.

“Nah.” Dick jumped up on the ledge, walking it like the talented acrobat that he was. “Why did she call me little bird? Seems kinda odd.” 

“She’s always called me birdie, little bird, baby bird… whatever strikes her mood at the time.” John shrugged and Dick turned to him, raising a brow. “What?”

“I got that part, but why variations of a bird?” He asked as he did a somersault off the ledge and dropped down in front of him. 

“Show off.” 

Dick smacked his arm, playfully. “That doesn’t answer my question.” 

John groaned, not really wanting to explain it, but it was Dick. “Cause of my name.” 

“Your name?” Dick repeated, scrunching up his nose in deep thought. “Ohhhh. Robin. Little bird.” He laughed. “Didn’t even know you went by your first name.” 

“Yeah, for the first year in the system… when I met Selina.” He whispered, thinking back to his first foster home placement. He was so angry and hurt, he acted out and they took him back to the orphanage. 

“I like it, it’s-”

“Girly.” John finished. “John was easier and the other boys made less fun of it.” 

Dick nodded. “Guess, I can see that… but I still like it.” 

“I almost went by Blake.” 

“Yeah? I like that, it’s bold.”

“Like Dick?” John teased as he tugged on Dick’s hair and pushed it behind his ear. “Your hair is getting pretty long.” 

Dick snorted as John ruffled his hair. “Hey!” He grabbed at John’s hand and leaned into him, invading his personal space. Not that that was surprising, it was Dick after all… but it was different now. 

There was more to it and John’s heart skipped a beat, breath hitching in anticipation as Dick leaned in and kissed him. 

“Come boys, there’s no time.” 

They jumped apart, looking over at Miranda as she crouched down beside them. John marveled at the way she moved, he would have never guessed that the regal woman he was once jealous over was as stealthy as a ninja… it was really good that she was on their side. 

“Mir-” John began, but she shushed him, glancing over her shoulder. 

“We must go, I was followed.”

“But who could follow you?” Dick questioned as Miranda made her way to the edge of the rooftop.

“Only the best,” she hissed, giving them a look of annoyance. “Bane is after you.” She stated as she glanced at John. “We must go.” 

John swallowed and they quickly followed after her. They zigzagged across the city and back again before they headed into the safe house. 

~+~

“What do you mean, Bane is after John… we’ve always known he would be.” Dick began as they stripped out of their coats in the main room. 

“There’s a significant bounty on his head.” She explained. “I think you should remain here, John.” 

“What?” John gasped. “Fuck, no. I’ve just established contact with Ross in the sewers… Gordon needs me out there.” 

Miranda shook her head. “Jim will agree with me, once he hears the new development.” 

“Will agree to what?” Gordon asked, entering the room as if on cue. 

“Bane has put a mark on John’s head.” She began, rubbing her neck… she suddenly looked so tired. It never occurred to John what a strain this must be on her too. “He claims he wants to only speak to him, but I fear that if John is captured he won’t live to see the sunrise.”

John felt sick and he had to sit down. He wanted to argue against her, but he knew she was right. His only hope was if Gordon didn’t agree. He was needed out there, he’d go crazy if he had to stay indoors. 

Gordon nodded a moment later, his brow furrowed in concentration. “I’m afraid, Miranda is right, son.” He paused, glancing at his watch. “At least for the week, you’ll stay here. There’s nothing you can accomplish if you’re captured. Lay low for now.” 

“But-”

“That’s a direct order, Officer Blake.” 

John pursed his lips together, hating it when the Commissioner pulled rank on him… it was so easy to forget at times. John viewed him as the father he never had and not his boss. “Fine.” He snipped and got up, heading to his room. He could hear hushed voices and he knew that Dick was arguing for him to be able to work, but John also knew that it was useless. 

~+~

“Hey,” Dick smiled as he entered his room a few minutes later and climbed into bed with him. 

“Hey.” 

Dick curled against him and John knew he wanted to say something more, but he appreciated Dick keeping quiet about it.

John closed his eyes, wrapping an arm around him. He was exhausted and having Dick beside him made it easier for him to rest. 

~+~

John blinked, feeling out of it as he attempted to wake up. He reached out, expecting Dick to be beside him, but he wasn’t…. Bruce was there instead. 

Bruce. 

John’s heart skipped a beat and he pulled Bruce into a kiss. It was hungry and breathless and he couldn’t get enough of his taste. “Oh, God. Bruce.” 

Bruce chuckled against his lips, dragging his fingers down his side. “John.” 

“Am I dreaming?” He inhaled, pressing his body against Bruce’s… he couldn’t believe his eyes.

“I didn’t mean to worry you,” Bruce whispered, running his fingers down his side and sliding under his shirt. His touch sent shudders down John’s spine and he wanted more, needed more. It had been far too long and he ached to feel Bruce deep within him. 

John didn’t want to talk about it, they could talk later. “Fuck me,” John demanded as he tugged on Bruce’s clothing, kissing him desperately. He wanted to be consumed by Bruce. “Please.” 

Bruce didn’t need much coaxing, he seemed just as desperate as John felt. He tore at John’s pjs and soon they were naked. The slide of Bruce’s skin against his was electric and John almost came from just being able to touch him, feel his weight against him as Bruce pinned him to the bed. 

John moaned, arching up into Bruce and wrapping his legs around his waist. Bruce took his time, kissing him, teasing him, loving him… 

“John!” 

John cried out as Bruce faded from his vision and suddenly Dick was hovering over him. John blinked, inhaling in a shaky breath as he grabbed Dick’s wrist. “What?”

“You were dreaming? Or something… you were thrashing in bed, crying out to Bruce.” Dick explained, he looked worried as fuck. 

Fuck… it was only a dream? 

“Fuck,” John sat up in bed, looking around the room. It had felt so real. He dragged his fingers through his hair. 

“You okay?” 

“No.” 

Dick looked dejected, but that wasn’t John’s intent. “Oh.” Dick turned away from him and John immediately pulled him into his arms, kissing his neck. 

“Sorry.” 

Dick melted back into him and John just held him. “Were you having a bad dream?”

“No, actually it was a really good dream… too good to be true. Fuck.” He closed his eyes and just breathed Dick in. He felt guilty for indulging in what Dick was offering him and what he wanted. 

He kept telling himself he was waiting for Dick’s birthday, but in reality he was scared that once he crossed over that line he would hate himself for loving two people. John’s always been a one boy at time, type of guy… and they have fooled around but it could still be dismissed. 

But soon they would go beyond that and John could no longer deny him or his feelings. He still loved Bruce and that hadn’t diminished, even after everything they had found out. And as the dream just proved, he still desired him as well. 

John threaded his fingers with Dick’s, kissing his fingers. “Your birthday is next week.” 

Dick shuddered against him and turned to him. “Yeah.” 

“I’m not sure we’ll be able to have a cake.” He sighed and Dick snorted, smacking his arm. 

“Don’t care about a cake or anything else, but you.” 

John knew that, he could see it in Dick’s expectant eyes… the way he gripped his hand and John kissed him, light and barely there… a promise of what was to come. “Love you.” 

“Love you too.”


	21. Chapter 21

**~twenty~**

“They were here again, looking for John,” Tim said. They were at least five blocks away from the orphanage on one of the rooftops that Miranda declared safe. Dick wasn't too thrilled that Tim was here, because he was small and the city was still full of scumbags. 

Dick tried not to show his worry, but he was sure he failed. “Did they hurt anyone?” 

“No, there was this guy with them, I've seen him on TV when Bane made his speech about the prison?”   
Dick nodded, he remembered that one too well. “He said that anyone who hurts the kids will have to answer to him and they just stepped back. I mean he isn't big or anything. He didn't even raise his voice. He told us that nothing would happen to the kids, but if he should find out that the Father was hiding John Blake or you, he would be brought to the court.” 

“It's too dangerous to meet anywhere near the orphanage. I will talk to someone who can bring you guys the supplies,” Dick said. 

“I'm not only meeting you for fun on a windy rooftop, Dick,” Tim replied, but there was a smile in his voice that didn't actually show on his face. Dick shook his head and grabbed the boy, ruffled his hair and hugged him tight. Tim stiffened for far too long a moment. 

“It's okay, Tim,” Dick said and Tim nodded into his chest and hugged him back. Dick grinned. 

“Be careful,” Tim said and let go, so Dick stepped back as well. 

“I am. This is not just a thrill to me, Tim,” Dick replied. 

“Could have fooled me,” Jason said, landing smoothly on the rooftop. Dick had seen him moving in the shadows, so he didn't even jump. 

Tim on the other hand retreated into the shadows. 

“You're one to talk, Jay,” Dick replied with a smile. It was good to see Jason. It was always good to see Jason, but especially when he didn't know Jason would drop by. Selina and Jason were good allies - no matter that Gordon was less than thrilled that they also worked with B. But even Gordon had to admit that without a police force, there was no way they could handle the rapists and murderers preying on the citizens. And every time Dick, Miranda, or Gordon brought someone down, they contacted Jason or Selina so they could take care of it. The times were hard and extraordinary. Sacrifices had to be made. Dick was slowly getting over his guilt. He just didn't ask what B was doing with these people. 

Jason grinned and grabbed him by the hoodie and kissed him hard. Dick gasped, but couldn't make himself not kiss back, Jason slowed it down and with a last lick that had Dick panting and moaning let go. “Happy birthday,” he said and slapped a small package into Dick's palm. It was flat and wrapped in newspaper. 

“Thank you,” Dick said. “You didn't have-”

“Take the damn gift, Dick. And I know you will need it,” he put his hands in his pockets and looked at Dick. 

Dick nodded, opening it. He bit his lip, because he wasn't sure he wanted to laugh or slap Jason hard. It was a small package of lube, cherry flavored, and condoms. 

“Jay-”

“You're seventeen, Dick.” 

That didn't mean that John would do it today. It didn't even mean that John would do it at all, but Dick couldn't help wishing for it anyway. 

“Yeah, but we have some back at the-” 

“Selina said it was the medical stuff,” Jason cut in. “You really want to-”

“Kids!” Dick hissed, because he was suddenly very aware of Tim watching them, listening to them. He ran a hand through his hair. 

“I'm not a kid, and I knew you liked boys since the first time I saw you looking at John,” Tim pointed out. 

Jason laughed. “See? Everybody knows.” 

“I need a mask,” Dick sighed and pocketed the lube and condoms. Condoms, he thought, as in more than one, what did Jason think was going to happen once he got home? 

“Once this is over you want to be what? Batman's sidekick?” Tim asked. 

“If he'll have me?” 

“You are a bit in love with the vigilante life, aren't you?” Jason asked. He was grinning again. 

Dick shrugged. “Not going to admit anything without a lawyer.” 

Jason laughed. “Can't say I blame you.” 

Dick hated to spoil this, but he needed to ask Jason a favor. 

“They're looking for John really hard now. They were at the orphanage. I can't be seen here anymore-”

“I'll take care of the kids. Or Selina,” Jason nodded. 

“Thanks Jay. Can you escort Tim home?” 

“Sure,” Jason said easily. 

Dick was half expecting Tim to protest, but – yeah, Dick thought, maybe Tim was just a bit awed by Jason. Not that Dick could blame him. 

“Be careful,” Dick said. 

“Go home,” Jason replied. 

Dick watched them go and then he jumped to the fire escape below. It was time to get home and report to John. He was going crazy not being able to be out on the streets. 

~+~

Dick hadn't expected anything, especially because their supplies were so limited right now. They had raided the other safe houses, but a lot of the food and other stuff was going to the orphanages and people they trusted to not make a profit off of it. Not that they thought Selina wasn't trading chocolate for favors, but it would be suspicious if she wouldn't do that. 

“Happy birthday, Dick,” Miranda said as she hugged him. Over the last few months she had become more of a sister to him. She had become family and Dick was glad for it. He knew he could always go to her with his concerns and worries and he could also count on her to tell him the truth and offer a nice ass-kicking when he felt like his skin was too tight to contain what he was feeling. 

“Thank you, Miranda,” he replied and hugged her closer. “You know that you’re my sister, yeah?” Her hug became crushing for a moment, but Dick just held on tighter, until she was ready to let go. 

Next was Gordon and then John. There were no presents, but Dick didn't really care. They were all still alive and well, that was enough of a birthday present for him. And they somehow made a cake too. It was mostly made of wafers, butter and sugar, but it had a candle. 

“It's not much-” Miranda started to say. 

Dick waved her off. “It tastes like something Jürgen’s grandmother made. The recipe was from the war. Back when supplies had been pretty much non-existent. I liked it at her place. I like this one too.” 

There was tea and coffee too, and they played board games. Dick was pretty sure that Bruce had them only for decorations. 

Dick decided to wait and tell them about what he had learned from Tim tomorrow. 

~+~

Dick hadn't wished for John to finally have sex with him when he blew out the candle. He had wished for Bruce to come back, because it hurt more not knowing and he could see how much it was eating at John every day a bit more. 

He stepped into the shower and he tried not to think about the small package of lube and the condoms he left in his pocket. It was hard. He was hard too. 

He let his hands linger as he was soaping up. He missed uncomplicated sex, he missed Amanda too sometimes. He leaned his forehead against the tiles and closed his eyes. He remembered her smell still, the way her breasts had felt against his back when she pressed against him, jerking him off in the shower. The heat of her mouth and tongue as she kissed the water away from his skin. He grabbed his cock and started stroking slowly. 

And then she shifted and it was John's hard body pressed against him. John was still bigger than Dick. Dick shivered a bit thinking about John's big hands on his hips, about John's mouth at the back of his neck. He spread his legs without really thinking about it, thinking about John's tongue running down his body and- cool air hit his skin and the image was gone in a flash. 

“Dick,” John said. 

And Dick wanted to tell him that he should really go, if he wasn't going to follow through with it this time, but he knew that he would take whatever John was willing to give. John's kiss to his shoulder was gentle, his hands on Dick's hips as he spun Dick around not so much. 

“John,” Dick said helplessly, because he was so hard and ready to come and his hand was still, somehow, on his cock, holding it. 

John pressed closer and kissed him hard, demanding, like a starving man. Dick could feel his shoulders grinding against the tiles. It wasn't – he relaxed into it. His hand going slack on his cock as he let John kiss him, devour his mouth. 

“Don't stop, I want to see,” John said, he was looking down. He was looking at Dick's cock, Dick realized, and he could feel the color rise in his cheek. “Just like you like it, Dick.” 

Dick nodded and closed his eyes, because watching John watching him was almost too much, and Dick started stroking again. John's hands were running up and down Dick's sides and then higher, grazing a nipple and Dick bit his lip and came messily over his hand. John kissed him again, a bit too hard. But Dick didn't complain. If John – no, Dick knew that if John would ever make love to him, it would be just that: making love. Dick could feel John's cock hard and wet against his belly. 

“John,” he panted as John finally let him draw a breath. 

“Yeah?” 

“I want to touch you, I want to suck-”

John groaned and kissed him again. “Bed?” It was only half a question. Dick didn't ask if John was sure, if it meant what Dick was thinking it meant. He only nodded and John stepped away, so they could clean up. 

~+~

John didn't let go of him on the way to their room and he was kissing Dick as soon as they were there. They landed on the bed, Dick on top of John, feeling as much skin as he could. John made noises that were driving Dick crazy. 

Dick’s never sucked cock, but he figured it would be okay, he kissed John's hip and then the top of John's cock and he was rewarded with a low moan. Dick didn't ask permission, just kissed it again and again and then licked it, making himself familiar with the hard flesh. He knew he wouldn't be able to swallow it down, or even get half of it into his mouth at once. He licked his lips and then just took only the head into his mouth. John's fingers tangled in his too long hair. He didn't push or pull, just held on. Dick played a bit with the head, sucking gently, swirling his tongue around it and then he tried to bob his head. John's fingers tightened in his hair. Dick sucked a bit harder. 

“Dick,” John groaned. 

Dick hummed to show that he was listening and John pulled on his hair. Dick let John's cock slide out of his mouth. 

“John?” 

“I don't want to come yet,” John panted. He let go of Dick, so Dick could sit up. He was hard again. And seeing John like this: splayed out, his lip bitten and so hard and – that was Dick's spit on his cock. Dick groaned and crawled over John, so he could kiss him again. 

“You,” John said and it seemed that he couldn't follow it up with anything. 

“John-” Dick bit his lip. 

“We need lube.”

“I have some,” he took a deep breath and grabbed for his pants. He fumbled as John watched him. He held out the lube and condoms out to John. 

“Where?”

“It's a gift from Jay,” Dick mumbled. 

“I don't want to know any more details,” John said, there was a smile in his voice and then he looked at the lube again and laughed. “Cherry?” 

“I think he finds it funny, because-”

“I know,” John said and sat up to kiss him again. It was a gentle kiss that left Dick wanting more. So much more. He guided Dick so Dick was on his back with John hovering over him, kissing every bit of skin on his way down and Dick closed his eyes again. He felt good. John's hands and mouth felt good on his body and he spread his legs without thinking about it at all. John made a low noise and then kissed the inside of Dick's thigh. 

Dick only knew John opened the lube because the chemical scent of cherry filled the air. He tensed, couldn't help it, John kissed his thigh again and then just let his finger slide up and down Dick's cleft. It felt good too, the slow slick touches. Dick didn't even feel the first finger because John was sucking on his cock as he slid it in. Dick gripped the sheets, trying to spread his legs wider as John started to carefully move his finger inside him. He felt hot and it was hard to concentrate on one sensation with John's mouth on him. The second finger was a surprise too, but it didn't feel bad, Dick hadn't even tensed up. Getting his cock sucked was distracting him from the fingers in his ass, and he wasn't sure how he felt about it. He wanted to feel everything, but he also trusted John to make him feel good. Make it as painless as it could be. 

The third finger was more of a stretch, Dick felt full and his legs were trembling. John sucked harder, Dick didn't want to come just yet, but John didn't let up until Dick was arching with the force of his orgasm, clenching around the fingers inside him. John let Dick's cock slide out of his mouth. “Turn around for me, Dick.”

“I want to see you,” Dick protested weakly, he felt boneless. 

“Trust me, it will be easier, okay?” 

Dick wasn't sold. He wanted John to see him too. “John-”

“I know it's you. I will always know it's you,” John said. 

Dick took a breath and John let his fingers slip out. Dick felt an unreasonable loss. He turned around and let John position him and then John's fingers were back inside him and it was better, the angle was better, Dick was tearing at the pillow. He felt between exhausted and brilliantly alive, which made no sense at all. John hit his prostate and Dick cried out. “John!” 

“It's alright, Dick,” John said, doing it again and again, sometimes only grazing it, like he knew that it would make Dick crazy if he hit it spot on. John's breath was coming too fast. 

“John please,” Dick said, he was getting hard again and he needed, he didn't know how much of this he could stand. “Please!” 

John kissed his shoulder and his spine, it was probably meant to be soothing, but really only managed to rile Dick up more. “I've got you,” John said, his fingers stilled and then Dick could hear the condom wrapper. He sighed in relief. 

John pushed in slowly and carefully and then he just stopped. Dick breathed. It was – he didn't know. Not painful. Strange. Full. His heart was hammering in his chest. His skin was – everything really, was too stimulated. He didn't know what to do with all these feelings inside him. He moved. Just a bit, rocking back into John and John groaned. “Dick-” it was a warning, but Dick had no idea why it should be a warning. 

“Please,” he said and moved again and then John rocked back. Gently and carefully. It didn't stay that way. The thrusts were coming faster, but not harder and when he grazed Dick's prostate again Dick bit the pillow to keep himself from screaming the house down. He was trembling with the need to come and John was too. Dick could feel it. Feel John; his hands on Dick's hips, his breath on Dick's neck, John's cock inside him. Again and again and again. 

“Dick,” John said. 

“Hmm?” 

“Touch yourself? I can't-” 

Yeah, Dick could do that, he wanted to do that too. He could feel how John's arms were shaking with the controlled thrusts. He knew how that felt, because he had made love to Amanda sometimes that slowly too.  
It took a bit of fumbling coordination, but then his strokes matched John's thrusts. 

It really didn't take long after that. He buried his face in the pillow as he came, clenching around John who groaned and still kept thrusting into him, until he finally spilled, warm and heavy, inside Dick. John collapsed on top of him. Dick didn't mind. They lay like that just breathing. “You okay?” John asked. His voice was husky. 

“Yes,” Dick said. He was okay. He felt so much closer to John now. It was a stupid cliché, really, but he couldn't help feeling it anyway. 

John made to pull away. Dick grabbed at him blindly. 

“Dick?” 

“Just...don't pull out yet?” Dick said, he could feel himself blush again. 

John kissed him. “The things you do to me,” he said. 

“I-”

“It's alright. I'm not freaking out, Dick,” John interrupted. 

“Okay,” Dick said. John nuzzled his nape and tangled their fingers together. Dick was warm and tired. 

“I'm going to pass out now, John.”

“Okay,” John said. “I'll be here when you wake up.” 

Dick smiled into the pillow.


	22. Chapter 22

**~twenty-one~**

It was true, he wasn’t freaking out… but in a way he was. His heart felt heavy, like he had betrayed Bruce. And he wondered if they would have ever crossed this line if Bruce hadn’t been gone.

John kissed Dick’s brow and pulled out of him once he knew that Dick was fast asleep. He got rid of the condom and cleaned himself up. Dick barely stirred and John kissed his shoulder as he cleaned up Dick too. 

He pulled the covers over them and closed his eyes, but he couldn’t sleep. All he could see was Bruce and he hated himself for enjoying this when Bruce was locked away somewhere…John couldn’t even imagine what he was going through. John had been grounded and unable to leave the safe house and he felt like shit. 

He was going a bit stir crazy and he was so tempted to just fuck it and do what he wanted to do. John sighed, when Dick seemed to sense his unease and curled around him. John kissed him softly and once more tried to go to sleep. 

~+~

Morning brought another round of sex, it was a bit lazier than the night before… it was gentler and he knew that Dick loved this more tender lovemaking. And John loved it too, but it also left him craving Bruce. He ached for him even more, which seemed ridiculous since he just had some mind-blowing sex with Dick. 

But they were so different, their build, their touch… the way they smelled and tasted. Fuck. He closed his eyes, wanting more than anything for Bruce to fuck him so hard he couldn’t remember how to breathe. And John knew that Dick would never be able to give him that.

Maybe that was a good thing, he could rationalize it a bit more. Why he loved both of them, needed both of them. God, he was so fucked. 

John groaned, turning on his side as he grabbed for the towel to clean them up.

“What’s wrong?” Dick asked as he ran his hand down his side, brushing his lips against John’s skin. 

“Nothing,” John tried to reassure him, but he knew that Dick would see right through him. 

“Yeah, right.” He snorted and bit his neck. “You’re freaking out, aren’t you?”

John shook his head, “No, yes. I’m going a bit stir crazy, Dick. I need to get out of here before I hurt someone.” Which was true, but not what he was thinking at that moment. 

“Oh.” 

“It’s been over a week now-”

“I dunno if you should. Tim said that they threatened Father Reilly if he was caught hiding you or me… we can’t afford to go back there.” Dick confessed and John sat up, alarmed. 

“What?” He inhaled. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Dick shrugged. “It was my birthday… and I thought it could wait a day.” 

“Fuck.” John groaned as he got out of bed and started dressing. “I need to get out of here and show Bane not to mess with my family. We don’t have much time to fuck around… the bomb is set to go off soon.” 

“No, John. You can’t… they’ll take you in.”

John sighed. “I can’t just sit here anymore. You should understand that.” 

Dick groaned, but John knew he wouldn’t fight him on this. He had felt the same in regards to staying at the manor. John needed this.

John pulled him into a breathtaking kiss, trying to soothe his fears. “It’ll be okay, besides I’ve learned a few sweet moves.” He winked as he rushed out of their room and headed to the Commissioner’s. He needed to tell him about the new intel that Dick had held back… they really needed to move on this.

He knocked on the Commissioner’s door as he opened it. “Hey-” his voice trailed off as his gaze locked onto the figure on the bed… but it wasn’t who he expected to be there. “Miranda.” 

She smiled at him, stretching out her arms and his eye’s widened as he realized that she was naked. “It’s not polite to stare,” she teased as she reached for her robe. “Jim is in the shower.” 

John nodded, his mind racing… he should have seen this coming, but he didn’t. All the little pieces finally clicked into place. The way her voice was a tad softer when she said Jim’s name, the way he called her Miranda now instead of Miss Tate, all the small little touches, their intimate talks… “Oh.” 

Miranda crossed over to him, cupping his chin and kissing his brow as he flushed with embarrassment, “Yes, John, we’re together.” 

“I feel like I just walked in on my parents or something.” He groaned, shaking his head. 

Miranda laughed as Gordon joined them, freshly showered and John noticed for the first time that he was looking good… happy, despite their predicament. “John.” He acknowledged. “Is there something you need?” He glanced over at Miranda. “We expected you two to sleep in a bit longer.” 

John felt his face flush even more. “God.”

Gordon chuckled and wrapped his arms around Miranda. She looked up at him with loving eyes and John couldn’t believe he didn’t see this sooner… he wasn’t much of a detective after all. But in his defense John did have other things on his mind. 

Like Dick and Bruce, and that fucking bastard, Bane… shit. John dragged his fingers through his hair as he tried to focus his thoughts back onto the task at hand. “Okay.” He took a deep breath. “I just wanted to tell you that, Dick left out a few things from yesterday.” John rushed. “And that I want to go back out on the streets.” 

“No.” The Commissioner stated firmly, before even hearing him out. 

“Bane’s men have threatened Father Reilly… we have to do something. I need to do something.” John argued. 

“John,” Miranda began and John shook his head. 

“I know you won’t approve, but I’m tired of hiding. I can’t do this anymore. I just can’t sit idly by and let-” 

“Do you wish to be taken?” Miranda cut in and John groaned. “Your training is nothing compared to the men you’re about to go against.” 

“But we have to do something, the fucking bomb will be going off soon… and then what?” John demanded. “Bruce would have done something by now.” 

“He did, son, and he ended up captured and tortured by Bane.” 

John blinked, eyes widening and then he shot a questioning look to Miranda and wondered if she told him about Bruce. “I never-”

Gordon surprised him by chuckling, shaking his head. “Did you think I wouldn’t figure it out?” He smirked and John knew that Gordon would at some point. He was a damn good detective. “This is one of the Batman’s safe houses after all.” 

“It wasn’t our secret to tell.” 

“Understood,” he stated as he looked John over. “I know you want to go out there, but if you are, they’ll bring you to Bane and possibly to the court for judgment.” He paused, glancing at the door. “What would Dick or Bruce think if they lose you?” 

John followed Gordon’s gaze and he sighed as he spied Dick. “It’s kinda a moot point if the bomb goes off.” 

Gordon reluctantly nodded, “I still don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be parading around town.” 

“Miranda has been teaching us for months now, let me use that. We have Batman’s gear and toys, we can find that bomb and… something.” He groaned. “Fuck.” 

Miranda shared a look with Gordon. “I’ll speak with Fox again.” 

“And I’ll talk with Jay,” Dick offered, taking John’s hand. “You can speak with Selina and we can go from there.” 

John nodded, it was a start. The clock was ticking. 

~+~

John had strayed from the plan, but things don’t always work out as planned. He had seen something and in his gut he knew that the bastard was up to no good. He crouched down, sticking to the shadows, watching and waiting. 

It didn’t take long and John was fuming when he saw what happened next. John jumped in immediately, unable to stop himself. He knew he should stay back in the shadows, there was a bounty on his head… but this jerk was picking on one of his boys. “Tim!” He inhaled as he attacked the man and sent him sprawling to the ground a moment later. 

Tim gasped, eyes widening in awe. He looked down at the man and then back at John. John could see the questions forming in his head, but instead he just shouted, “You’re not supposed to be here!” 

“Minor details,” he shrugged as he knelt down beside Tim, looking him over. “You okay?” 

Tim nodded, glancing around him. “They’re looking for you.” 

“I know, but that guy didn’t look like he was going to leave you alone.” He pulled Tim into a hug. “You look cold.” 

“Yeah.” Tim tensed for a moment and then returned the hug, curling into him for warmth. 

“What are you doing all the way out here?”

“Following a lead.” Tim stated so seriously that John raised a brow. 

“A lead, huh?” 

“Yeah, but I got lost on the way back. I’m supposed to meet up with Jay.” He smiled and John chuckled, ruffling his hair. 

John took off his scarf and wrapped it around Tim and took off his gloves too. He helped Tim put them on and John thought he looked a bit warmer. “Watch your back.” 

“You too!” 

John felt a shift in the shadows and he knew that they were no longer alone and they were being watched. “Go, now, Tim.” 

Tim’s eyes widened slightly and he squared his shoulders as he nodded to John and then ran to safety.

John took a deep breath and turned. He cursed as he came face to face with Bane. John held his head high as Bane looked over him. “So, you’re the boy the bat has fallen for.” 

“I’m no boy,” John challenged, he wasn’t going to step down or shrink away. He wouldn’t give Bane the satisfaction. 

“That is yet to be seen,” Bane stated and waved his hand. The lackeys that always seemed to follow him everywhere, were suddenly in front of John and they advanced on him, attacking him. 

John used everything he learned, but it wasn’t enough. He was out of breath and hurting when one of the men finally pinned him to the ground. 

“You have been taught well.” 

John’s head jerked to the smooth, appraising voice, and his gaze locked onto Bane’s second in command… Jason’s ally, B. 

“You need more practice.” 

“No, shit.” John snorted as one of the men pulled him to his feet and cuffed him. He had no choice but to follow. 

B chuckled, raising a brow. “I can see why Wayne is intrigued by you.” 

Emotions swelled in John’s heart, but he didn’t visibly respond…. But his words intrigued, John. “Is.” He inhaled. “That means he’s still alive.”

B smirked, “You do catch on fast.” 

John felt a sense of relief wash over him and it renewed his hope. Bruce was alive and he would return. He was lost in his own thoughts and was surprised when he was pushed into a cell. John snorted when he realized they were using the holding cells at the City Hall. Of course. 

B leaned against the wall, watching him. 

“So, what now? You’re going to watch me, drill me?” When B didn’t respond, he made a calculated risk. “Fuck me?” 

“No harm will come to you,” B stated as another man joined him and John realized that this was a changing of the guards. 

John rushed to the bars, holding onto them as B turned to leave. “Wait, B.” 

B stiffened, glancing back at him, seemingly intrigued.

“Please, send a message to Jay… let them know I’m okay… that no harm will come to me as you have claimed,” he pleaded. “And not to attempt to rescue me.” 

B raised a brow, he didn’t acknowledge his request, but there was a flicker of understanding in his eyes and then he left John. But John hoped that B would carry on the message. He knew that Tim must have seen part of it and would report back as much as he knew, but Dick would worry. 

Fuck. 

He slumped back onto the cot and attempted to rest. It was not like he had anything else to do.


	23. Chapter 23

~twenty two~

John still wasn’t back and Dick was going crazy. He knew Miranda was too, she just had a better poker-face than him. 

“We need to go, ask around. Maybe contact Selina,” Dick said. 

Gordon looked like he would love to shoot anyone. As long as it would stop the madness. 

“He has probably been captured,” Miranda stated. 

“I want to know for sure,” Dick replied stubbornly. 

“The boy is right. We need to know for sure. Maybe he is only injured somewhere, hiding out, because he can’t make it here-” he stopped. 

It was probably the horror written on Dick’s face. He tried to shake it off, but it was no use: John could be bleeding out this very second. 

“That didn’t help, Jim,” Miranda said sharply. 

“I’m going out there.” Dick insisted. “Just to ask around. Maybe someone did see something, Miranda.” 

She still looked like she wanted to tear someone apart but then she nodded. “Not alone.” 

“Of course.” 

“Jim you’re staying here. In case he comes back.” 

Jim Gordon nodded wisely. Miranda could be really scary sometimes. 

~+~

Dick was waiting for Jay to show up. He had left messages at all the freaking R-points and was now again on the roof of the building closest to the orphanage. He was getting restless, but kept to the shadows and his breathing as slow and steady as he could, as quiet as he could, anyway. He wanted to punch something or someone badly. 

“Shit, Dick,” Jay said as he finally made it and Dick emerged from the shadows. “You have a really serious Bat-vibe here-” 

“John didn’t come home,” Dick said. 

Jason ran a hand through his hair. “He has been taken by Bane. B let me know. Shit, Tim saw half of it too.” He took a deep breath and told Dick the whole story.

“Is he dead?” 

Jason shook his head and took out a cigarette. “No, B let me know that no harm will come to him. I guess that is a ‘for now’ type of deal. Before you start, he is still Bane’s man. He is still ready to blow this town up.”

“And you with it?” 

Jason looked away. “No…”

“You make a deal with him?” 

“He offered,” Jason said coldly. 

“Shit, Jay-” Dick stopped. “But, I’m glad you will survive this clusterfuck no matter what.” 

“I’m probably gonna take Tim too, if things should start to go south, Dick.” 

“What about the other boys?” Dick asked and then, “What will you do once you’re out? Shit, Tim is not even twelve yet. What kind of life – no, fuck. Forget it. It’s a life. You’re trying. This is not your fault.” 

“It’s not your fault either, Dick,” Jason said, exhaling smoke. “We do what we can in order to survive.” Like selling people out, Dick thought. Selina had done it before, but he didn’t think she would do it again, or Jay for that matter. 

“What do they want with John?”

“I don’t know. B doesn’t either. Says it makes no sense to him. It’s probably something personal for Bane. Wayne did go out with Miranda and Bane has the hots for her…”

“You think he wants to lure her into a trap? She does care for John. She’s not going back to him, Jay.” 

“What? Why not? It could save John’s life.”

“I think Bane will kill him anyway. Because Bruce loves him and he wants to make Bruce suffer. And Miranda is with Gordon, Jay.”

“Fuck. Didn’t see that coming. A long way from perfect fucking billionaire to beat up cop,” Jason said. 

“He makes her happy.” 

“Like Bruce never could, because he likes dick?” Jason asked. 

“He likes pussy too,” Dick snapped back. He was irrationally angry and besides: Bruce had been with his parents. 

“Whoa. I didn’t mean-”

“Shit, this is messed up. And I don’t have time for it. There is a bomb out there and a trigger and Bane has John and will kill him if Miranda – she doesn’t love him, doesn’t want him, doesn’t even like him anymore. It will be rape.” Jason winced. “Yeah, people don’t like to think about it that way, but that’s what’s going to happen. You know it. Even if she should go with him, agree to be with him. It will be rape.” 

“Stop saying that word.”

“Say it to B, Jay. Make him understand that this isn’t right.” 

“Dick, B believes what they’re doing is the right thing to do. So Gotham can be a new city one day. Better.”

“What about Bane’s crazy revenge, love thing?” 

“He’s not too crazy about it, but Bane is the leader of the League of the Shadows, Dick. B respects that.”   
Shit, Dick thought. If Bruce had taken over the League instead on setting it on fire…but that was a moot point now. Bane was the leader. People trusted him. Believed in him. 

“He won’t help us?” 

“He’ll keep John safe for as long as he can, Dick. I don’t have the right to ask more of him. Bane could get rid of him at any freaking time and to be honest? I kinda really like the guy.” 

“Try to save all the kids? At least from John’s old orphanage?” 

“I’ll try,” Jason promised. “What are you gonna do?”

“Talk to Miranda and borrow some toys.” 

Jason gave him a look. “I’m not asking, because I can’t tell anyone what I don’t know.” 

“Take care, Jay,” Dick said, grabbing him by his leather jacket and pulling him in, before he could think about it he was kissing Jason hard. Jason gave back as good as he got. 

“I hope you survive, Dick, you’re a hell of a kisser.” 

“I'm taken and besides, you don’t even like guys that way.” 

Jason grinned. “Sometimes exceptions must be made.” 

Dick smiled and jumped into the shadows. 

~+~

He got home before Miranda, stripped off the armor and grabbed a cup of tea. 

“Dick? Any news?” 

Dick sat down and put his head in his hands. “Not good news.” 

“Well, we better wait for Miranda then,” Gordon said. 

Dick nodded. 

They didn't have to wait long.

“Bane has him,” she said as soon as she entered the kitchen. She shook out her hair and looked at Dick. “You already know.” 

“Talked to Jay. Tim saw the whole fucking thing and met up with him. Because he doesn't know where we live!” 

“Dick, it's safer that way.” 

“Tell that to John or Tim. If some scumbag wouldn't have tried to hurt Tim, John wouldn't have strayed from the plan.” 

“John knew the risk, Dick. We all knew,” Gordon said. 

“No, they don't. Don't you see? They think it won't go off as long as they do what they're doing now,” he took a deep breath. “I mean, fucking Foley, isn't one of yours now, because he's hiding out, Gordon. What does that tell us? What does that say about this city? Maybe it deserves to burn. A lot of this shit happens because people are too scared to stay united, or because they like not having the law around,” he said hotly. “Gelegenheit macht Diebe,” he whispered. 

“No, Dick it's not true. Opportunity doesn’t make criminals,” Miranda said. 

“I didn't know you speak German.” 

“I also speak French and obscure Arabic dialects,” she replied smiling. “It never came up.” 

“But don't you see? It does. Take away the law, hell, let people look away and someone will steal, abuse, rape, just because they can. Just because there is no one to answer to, because there is no one who cares.” 

“You obviously do, Dick.” 

“Shit, Miranda, Jay and I think Bane took John because he wants to lure you out. It will punish Bruce to see John being executed in public, but it will bring you to him, am I right?” 

She nodded. “Yes, I will try and reason with him.” 

“And he will ask you to go with him, leave this all and to be with him. He might not kill John then, but he will leave him here, with all the other people and then he will pull the trigger. And you will be his slave. He will rape you, Miranda.” 

She flinched. Only slightly, but Dick had been looking for it. “Dick, it won't-”

“Yes, it will be exactly that, Miranda. Don't kid yourself, it's not you. Talia wouldn't.” 

“He loves me,” she reasoned. 

“He is holding a whole city hostage and is ready to blow it up to hurt the man you chose over him and to get you back, Miranda. That's not love, that's sick, fucking obsession and what about Jim?” 

She looked at him and then squared her shoulders. “We have to find the bomb. I am meeting with Fox later, he said he could help us. Jam the signal to the trigger at least. He also said he needed to know where the Bat is. Any idea?” 

“John found it by accident. We couldn't get it to work, so we didn't tell anyone. I know where it is.” 

“Good,” Miranda answered. 

“You're going out there again?” Gordon asked. 

“You're meeting with the special ops people tonight, aren’t you? So they can track down the bomb.” 

“Yes, I am, but-” 

“My training was the same as Bane's, the same as Bruce's, Jim. I will be fine,” Miranda reassured him and Dick looked away as they kissed. 

“I'm going with Gordon,” Dick said. 

“Don't think the special ops people will like that,” Gordon said. 

“She trained me. She trained with the freaking League of Shadows. I am as dangerous as they are,” Dick replied. “I know the city better than them. I'm coming with. And I am bendy as fuck.” 

Miranda sniggered. Dick colored slightly. 

“Really?” Gordon said. 

“We take our laughs were we can, Jim,” she replied. 

He sighed, but he was trying to hide a smile too. 

This was fucked up and John was in danger and – still. Dick at least had his big sister. 

~+~

The meeting with the special ops guys was going exactly as smoothly as Dick thought it would go. He tried not to fucking care that their leader was thinking Dick was some kind of decoration or that Gordon was humoring him. Fuck them, what did they know about Dick's city? Nothing. 

“Dick you're going with Captain Jones,” Gordon said. 

Dick smirked. Couldn't help it. He knew that Jones wanted to protest, but really, they didn't have enough men. Not right now. And they didn't need them either. 

Not to find the truck.

“Once we find the truck we can go from there,” Gordon continued. 

Dick nodded. They knew that the bomb was in one of three trucks moving around, but they also knew that someone close to Bane had the fucking trigger. They needed to find that truck and jam the signal so it couldn't be activated from afar. That at least would give them a bit more time. Not much, but maybe just enough. 

“Okay,” Gordon said. “We're heading out.” 

~+~

Jones didn't speak with Dick on their way through the city. It was freezing and Dick wondered if John was at least warm. 

“Decoy,” Jones said and Dick made the bat-symbol with a piece of chalk. 

“You don't think he’ll come back, do you?” Jones asked. 

“Doesn't matter what I think,” Dick replied, trying not to snap. 

“Actually it does, you should put your faith in something a little bit more real,” Jones said. 

“Like you? You don’t have the faintest clue what you are doing,” Dick said, pocketing the chalk. 

“And you do?” 

“Actually, yeah. Trying to survive,” Dick answered. 

“Listen boy-”

“No, you listen. This bomb is going to go off. Bruce and Miranda build it, don't you get it? Wayne Enterprises build it-”

“They built a bomb?” 

“It wasn't meant as one. It was a clean energy project. To help people. But Bane took it, made Doctor Pavel – whom you guys should have been protecting by the way – turn it into a bomb and then killed him on national TV! And I know for a fact that the core is out, it will blow up. It's just a matter of time. We can't wait for you guys to make a plan, because we're running out of time.” 

Jones looked at him. “I need to speak with someone in charge.” 

“Mister Fox. I know where he's hiding out. He can confirm my story,” Dick said. 

“You're Wayne's ward, aren't you?” 

Dick nodded. “I would keep that under fucking wraps, because there is a price on my head as well.” 

They made their way to the Wayne Building in silence and once they were there, Dick left Jones with Mister Fox so he could explain. Miranda was already gone, which sucked. He had hoped to catch her, so they could go home together. 

He was just looking around when all hell broke loose. 

“Shit!” Bane's men were suddenly everywhere. Dick ducked into the shadows and then thought fuck it all. He needed to do something. These men weren't trained as good as Dick was, he could see that, feel it in his bones. 

He could take them. Not all of them, but maybe enough to grab Mister Fox and Jones. 

He made it to Jones just as someone was shooting at him. 

“Shit kid!” Jones hissed. 

“We need to go. Someone sold us out!” Dick said, dragging Jones along. 

“My men-” Jones protested. 

Dick had enough of this. “They're pretty much dead! Either you come with me or you're going to die. You're a big man. Make a fucking decision!” 

Jones nodded. 

Dick saved his life. 

Later they were watching Jones' men dangling from the bridge like horribly obscene Christmas decoration on national TV. 

“That could have been me,” Jones said. He was a bit pale. Dick couldn't blame him, but he was becoming immune to all the daily horror, all the ordinary mayhem and it scared the shit out of him. He needed John back. He needed John to make him feel like a real person again. 

“You can't go back,” Gordon said. They were at the store again. 

“I know. They will hunt me like a dog,” Jones replied. 

“Welcome to Gotham, Captain Jones,” Dick said. 

“Thanks,” Jones replied and Dick knew it was for saving his life. He nodded. 

“We need to get to Mister Fox,” Miranda threw in. 

Shit, Dick thought, she was good. He hadn't even seen or heard her approach.

Dick let Gordon fill Jones and the other guys in. 

“Any word?” Dick asked. 

“Ran into Jay. John is still alive, Dick. And you were right, word on the street is that Bane wants to talk with me.” 

“You can't go,” he said. It hurt, he was leaving John to rot there, but it would do no good to lose Miranda too. She was their best fighter. 

“I know. And I know how much it costs you to say that, Dick,” she said and hugged him tightly. He hugged her back. 

“I'm so fucking exhausted,” Dick confessed. 

“Do you want me to sleep in your bed tonight?” 

He bit his lip and then nodded. He wasn't sleeping much at all since John had been taken. He needed to sleep and he always slept better with someone beside him. “If it's okay with the Commissioner.” 

“He won't argue with it, Dick,” Miranda said, kissing his head. 

“Thanks Miranda.” 

“That's what big sisters are for,” Miranda replied softly. 

~+~

By the time he snuggled close to Miranda's warmth, they had a plan. They would get Fox out and he and Jones would deal with the bomb, while Miranda and Gordon would try to distract Bane. And Dick, Jay and Selina would try to free the cops and get as many people out of the city as possible. Not that Selina knew. He would just have to bribe her, Dick thought and then he fell asleep.


	24. Chapter 24

**~twenty three~**

John was restless, he ached to get out of the fucking cell and stop the damn bomb like he was supposed to. He paced, unable to sit still for long and it helped him from drowning in his thoughts of Bruce and Dick. 

John tensed as he heard the door swing open to the hallway adjoining the cells, it always creaked when used, but he never heard the footsteps approaching. The damn sneaky ninja’s… and John wondered briefly if he’d ever be as good as them. As Miranda and Dick. Bruce.

John closed his eyes and leaned back against the wall, he assumed it was time for the changing of the guard. Not that he’d know, he had lost track of the time a while ago and had no way of figuring it out. But they seemed to change every few hours. 

He wanted to see B again, to find out if the message was given or not. John was worried about how Dick was taking his absence. John had been impulsive and Dick was paying for it more than he was. 

“Come.” 

John’s gaze snapped to Bane’s, surprised that he was here instead of one of his henchmen. “Don’t really have that luxury, since I’m still locked up in here.” 

Bane raised a brow and then opened the cell. 

John’s heart skipped a beat and he wanted to run, but he knew his chances were slim to none of making it out of here alive. The gun was trained on him... He could play the game a little longer. And B had said that no harm would come to him. John crossed over to him and hissed when Bane grabbed John’s arm. 

“Do not fight this and you shall not be harmed.” 

John snorted, but he kept his mouth shut. Bane dragged him out of the cell and down the hall. He pushed John toward a group of his men. “What the fuck?” John growled as the men tore at his clothes, shredding them, and leaving him only in his boxers. 

He flushed with embarrassment at being exposed to these men, but that faded away when he was tugged into place and secured with a heavy duty rope. John’s breath hitched and he tried to fight them away, but it was useless. 

Fuck.

The fight seemed to drain out of him momentarily as the rope tightened and burned against his skin. It was too much. They hoisted him up… it was only then that John realized that there was a camera trained on him. John glared at Bane and then back at the camera being shoved into his face. 

“What is this?” John demanded, fighting against the restraints with renewed strength. He was essentially hogtied to a beam and put on display. 

Bane just looked at him, and John knew if he could see his lips; they would be in a fucking smirk. Bane didn’t answer him and John fought once more, cursing when the ropes seemed to only get tighter. 

“Stop.” 

John stilled at B’s words, his body aching and his skin feeling raw. “What is this?” He repeated, hoping that B would answer him.

“You’ll be taken back to your cell if you play your part.” B stated calmly as if John should have known what that meant. Like it was all part of the plan…

“My part?” He hissed, tugging at the restraints and then it suddenly clicked. They were filming this for Bruce… to torture him more. “Fuck that.” He wasn’t going to play the victim, he was going to fight this. 

“Impressive.” Bane stated and that only infuriated John more. 

“Fuck you, he will get free. You won’t win.” 

The look that Bane gave him made John feel like Bane had thought he already did… and that was how they’d defeat him. John knew that Bruce would return and then they’d fucking destroy him.

“Take him down,” Bane stated a moment later, gesturing to the ropes and then he turned away from him.

“Careful,” B said as he began to undo John’s bindings. 

John nodded, taking a deep breath, trying to calm himself, but failing miserably. “Fuck.” 

“Save your energy.” 

John frowned, his words were so cryptic, but maybe just maybe B might help him. “It was only a few minutes of footage, if that…” 

“Which is all we need.” B stated and it made John sick to his stomach. “It’ll loop indefinitely.” 

“You think that this will break him in some way? It’ll only make him fight harder.” John was sure of it… it would fuel the anger in Bruce's bones. 

B didn’t comment and took him back to his cell. 

John rubbed at his wrists and at his bare arms, as his anger faded he felt the chill in the air. It was fucking freezing. “What about my clothes?” 

“Something will be provided.” 

John groaned and before he could inquire about Jay he was gone. “Fuck.” 

He sat on the cot, tucking his legs to his chest and rubbed at his arms and legs, trying to stay warm. John imagined Bruce beside him, his warmth engulfing him and Dick curled into his side. 

~+~

John startled awake, not even realizing he had fallen asleep. There was a TV that had been wheeled into his cell. He glanced at the guard and then inhaled sharply as the TV turned on and the news footage repeated. 

John watched horrified as two special ops men hung from the bridge, like they were mere dolls, playthings to Bane, and not the men that they were. He felt the bile rise in his throat. That could have been him, Bane could have done the same to him. 

“Jesus,” John inhaled, closing his eyes and rubbing at his brow. He had to focus…. There were supposed to be more than just two men, Gordon and him were supposed to meet with them. It gave him hope that there might be more men to help their cause. 

“They’re building a resistance,” B stated from the shadows and John’s gaze snapped to his. 

“Did you think the people wouldn’t try? This is our home. It has its faults, but it’s home.” John stood up and crossed over to him. B seemed like a reasonable guy. “Who has the trigger?” 

B only smiled and turned away from him. 

“Fuck.” 

~+~

Days had stretched into a week and John was itching to move, to do something. The clock was ticking… they only had another twenty-four hours at most. If that. It was hard to keep track when he was locked up. 

“Bane wants me to bring him to the court… he’s outlived his usefulness.” 

John’s eyes widened and his heart skipped a beat at the familiar voice. He glanced over to see Selina, dressed all in black… like the cat she was. “What? Who the fuck are you?” John snapped, hoping to play up the part. 

“About time,” the guard snorted and threw Selina the key, turning to leave. 

John felt like his heart would pound out of his chest, this was fucking risky… but not many knew that Selina was a friend of his. “How’s my little birdie?” Selina purred as she opened the cell. 

“Better, now that you’re here.” John replied, wasting no time in following her out. He pulled her into a kiss when they were out of the city hall. “I fucking love you.” 

Selina smirked at him. “Didn’t think it would actually work.” 

“Finally, luck is on our side,” he pulled her into a dark alley and they paused. “What’s the plan?” 

She told him what she knew, which wasn’t much. Selina only knew her part of the plan… and she wasn’t supposed to be here with him. But he was glad that she diverged from the plan, otherwise he’d still be locked up and waiting for the bomb to go off. 

He shivered, he wasn’t dressed for this weather. “You okay?” She questioned, looking him over. 

He shrugged, rubbing his hands together. “I’ll live. I’m free to help and that’s all that fucking matters. Let’s go.” 

John led the way, sneaking their way through the streets. They were to meet up with Dick and Jason, and then they’d help get the cops out of the sewers and start the escape. 

“We need to get moving, if Selina doesn’t-” Dick stopped talking, his head tilting as he heard their approach and he turned to them. “It’s about damn time…” his voice faltered, his eyes widening when his gaze locked onto John’s. “John!” 

Dick flung himself at him and John caught him in a crushing hug, kissing him desperately. “Hey, kiddo.” John smiled against his lips as they parted.

Dick hit him, but John knew that there was no malice intended. “Hey.” 

“So, what’s the plan?” 

Dick filled him in with the full plan and he nodded. It sounded good. “Oh,” Dick pulled out a walky talky. “The bird has flown the coop.” 

John’s eyes widened slightly and then he laughed, barely hearing the affirmatives from the other teams out there. “Let’s get this done.” He blew into his hands, trying to warm them up. “Okay, I’m a little rusty here, but I think I can get the cops out, if you guys want to start on the escape plan…”

“No, I’m not leaving you.” Dick stated and John should have guessed as much. They were just reunited and he didn’t want to part from Dick either.

“Okay,” he looked to Selina and then his gaze settled on Jason. “Make sure Tim’s safe.”

“Of course,” Jason smirked and John trusted him to do just that. 

“We got this,” Selina winked and squeezed John’s shoulder, before she turned away from them. “We’ll be in touch.” She called over her shoulder and then they disappeared into the shadows.

Once they were alone, John turned to Dick, taking his hand in his. “Missed you.”

Dick leaned in, kissing him once more and John savored it. “You have no idea.” 

John had an idea. “Let’s do this.” 

~+~

Everything happened so fast, but nothing mattered except that the Batman was in front of him. John barely held back his desire, his need to touch him, to kiss him, to make sure that he was really here before him and not just a figment of John’s imagination. 

They had disbanded the small gang of henchmen and then freed the cops without any hiccups. Dick gave him a sad look and then disappeared into the shadows. His heart skipped a beat and he knew how much Dick was giving up to give John this moment.

Batman turned to him. 

“You’re late.” John teased and he reached out, touching Batman’s gloved hand… but it wasn’t enough.

Batman pulled him closer and the next thing John knew he was in the Bat, flying up into the sky and to safety. They landed on a rooftop and John climbed over and into the cockpit with Batman. He straddled him, wrapping his arms around him.

It was surreal, being in his arms after so many months and John couldn’t keep his hands to himself. John kissed his neck, removing the cowl to be able to gaze into Bruce’s face. 

John moaned, this was every fantasy come true. The Batman in his arms. “Fuck, Bruce. I missed you so fucking much.” John clung to him, not willing to let go.

“We don’t have long,” Batman stated, running his hands over John’s thighs and kissing him.

Reports came flooding through the comm in the Bat and they paused, they only had about a half hour before they would advance onto City Hall. Everything was on track and soon the final act would begin…they were so close.

John cupped his face. “Where have you been? We’ve been so worried.”

“The Pit,” he stated, not expanding on it. Instead, Bruce pressed his forehead against John’s. “Did he hurt you?” 

“No, no…he had captured me, but it was more to fuck with you and try to force Miranda’s hand.” He stated, dragging his fingers through Bruce’s hair and then kissing him once more. 

“It did, but not in the way he had planned,” Bruce added and John snorted. 

“I thought that it would spur you to action.” 

Bruce nodded, running his fingers down his sides. “Is Dick upset with me? He ran off before we could even speak.”

John shook his head, “No, he just… he knew we needed this.” 

Bruce nodded once more and John felt guilty, he needed to tell Bruce the truth before they did anything more. 

“We’ve been intimate… Dick and I.” John blurted out, feeling the sharp intake of breath and Bruce’s body tensing. 

“What?” His voice was like steel, his eyes losing the warmth they held a moment before. 

Fuck. “I’m with Dick too. I know you suspected something when we were younger, but I had no idea until you were gone. Dick loves me… and fuck. I love him too.” 

Bruce dug his fingers into his hips. “And now that I’m back?”

“I dunno… you were with two people before, it’s possible-”

“That was different.” 

“Bullshit, you were able to love two people and to be with them and my heart aches at the thought of choosing between the two people I love and need…” John pressed his lips against Bruce’s in a gentle kiss. “I dunno if this is going to work out, but I have to try.” 

“John-” 

John pressed his finger to Bruce’s lips, not wanting to hear his argument for or against it. “Do you love me?” 

“Yes.” 

His heart skipped a beat and then he kissed Bruce with unbridled passion. “I love you,” he panted. “And you’re the only one that can fuck me, you give me something Dick can’t and I need that.” John pressed his brow against Bruce’s chest. “Don’t make me choose, just love me and support this. Mary and Jon would approve… give us the chance that you never got.” 

Bruce sighed, running his fingers through John’s hair. He still seemed hesitant, but John thought that he’d see to reason. “We will talk about this later.” 

“Yeah?” John pulled back, searching Bruce’s eyes. “I love you.” His breathing hitched and he blinked back tears. “Fuck. I thought I had lost you.” 

Bruce kissed him and John moaned into his mouth as he rocked his hips against Bruce’s… John needed so much more. 

“How much time do we have?” John inhaled as they parted to breathe and John tugged on the fastenings to the Batsuit. 

“John,” Bruce’s voice was deeper and heady, it made John shudder with desire. There was a moment of hesitation and then he kissed John, giving into their more primal urges. Bruce helped him undo his suit and then there was nothing holding them back. 

It was quick and dirty and everything his fanboy concocted when he was a boy… John collapsed against Bruce, loving the feeling of Bruce’s softening cock inside him. “That was perfect.” 

Bruce snorted, pressing a kiss to John’s shoulder as they attempted to calm their breathing. “The things you do to me.” 

“Love you too.” John grinned, it felt good to be safe in his arms. “Now let’s go stop Bane from destroying our city.” 

~+~

They made a stop at his old apartment and John’s dress blues were still tucked in the back of his closet. He was surprised his apartment had been barely touched. He dressed quickly, wanting to be a part of the movement. He kinda wished Lucas was there too, to take a stand against Bane. But he was also glad that Lucas was still out of the city and out of harm’s way. 

“You look good.”

The Batman looked at him appraisingly, it made John hard all over again. And he wished they had more time…. But the sun was coming up and they had to find the trigger before it was too late. 

~+~

They advanced and John fought side by side with the Batman. He watched as the Batman took Bane down and they had only minutes to spare.

The waited breathlessly for word. 

Fox and Jones had stabilized the bomb. 

It was over, it was hard to believe. He didn’t know all the details, but he honestly didn’t care. His family was safe and that was all that mattered. 

John was handcuffing one of Bane’s men when he heard his name. He grinned when he saw Dick, running toward him. 

“Dick!” He cried out as he caught him and pulled him into a tight hug. They kissed. “So fucking good to see you.” 

“We did it!” Dick cheered and then he tensed as his gaze focused on John’s neck. 

“What?”

Dick brushed his fingers against the mark Bruce had left earlier, John shuddered slightly, his skin tingling at the touch. “Bruce.” 

“Yeah,” he nodded. “I told him about us. It’ll be okay.”

“Promise?” He questioned as John noticed a shadow move beside him and they turned. Dick pulled away and ran to the Batman. 

Batman scooped him into his arms and no one else took notice of it, but it warmed John’s heart as they embraced. “Promise.” John stayed back, they needed this time together. They had all the time in the world for everything else.


	25. Chapter 25

**Interlude: Bruce**

Dick was clinging to him, but not saying a word. Bruce was just glad that for now at least Dick and John were both alright. 

But they were more than alright, actually. Bruce had known that none of them would crumble, or give up, but he had still been worried and now it seemed that Dick – his son, Mary’s and Jon’s son – was on his way to become a very good – well, Bruce would call it a Freedom Fighter for now. 

“I missed you,” Dick said, finally letting go. 

“I’m sorry, Dick-”

“It’s not your fault. None of it is your fault, but we need to talk, Bruce. We’ve been hiding out in one of your safe houses and we have found things.” 

Bruce’s mind flashed to all the things he had stashed at those places. Alfred had probably given away every single one. So John and Dick would have food and water. They may have also found the adoption papers and – Violet. 

“Dick-”

Dick stepped away. “Not here. It would look suspicious,” he winked at Bruce and disappeared in the chaos around them. 

“I think you should take your boys home,” Miranda said gently. He hadn’t even heard her approach.

“You have secrets Miss Tate,” he said. 

“As have you,” she leaned over to whisper it, “Bruce.” 

He wasn’t even surprised. He knew Miranda was on their side and he also knew that someone would have had to train Dick. She was the only logical choice at this point. 

Bruce still wasn’t sure he was happy Miranda trained him, but he was grateful that she kept his family safe. 

“Thank you,” he said. 

She touched his arm and then let go and disappeared into the crowd as well. Bruce decided that the police should deal with this. His work here was done and Miranda was right, he should take his boys home. 

~+~

The house was in disarray, probably from the weather and neglect, and Alfred was nowhere to be found, until they checked the cave. 

“I bloody hate the cave, Master Bruce,” Alfred said. He looked all the years he has lived, Bruce thought, “What took you so long?”

“Revolution,” Bruce answered and hugged Alfred. He had thought he would never see the man again. 

“A noble cause, I hear,” Alfred replied. “I hope everyone is alright?” 

“Everyone that matters to me,” Bruce said and hugged Alfred once more. “You gave up my safe houses.” 

“It was time to do it, sir. You should have done it yourself,” Alfred chided. 

Probably, Bruce thought. “The boys are waiting upstairs. I wasn’t sure if it would be safe.” 

“It is, Master Bruce. This is a strong house,” Alfred said, stepping away. 

Bruce knew he didn’t only mean the bricks and nodded. 

~+~

Bruce tried not to look too closely, but he couldn’t help it. Dick and John seemed to be very comfortable in their personal space. They had always been that way, but now there was this extra intimacy. The way Dick had kissed John after the battle, the way maybe John had kissed Dick – it. Bruce didn’t know if he was actually jealous or not. 

His feelings regarding John had always been complicated, even before John had kissed him when he was only seventeen. And Dick – Dick was the last thing that connected him to what Bruce had always considered to be his one true love, but now he wasn’t sure. He loved John. Differently than he had loved Mary and Jon, but then, every love is different, because every person is. 

But John loved Dick too. While Bruce was giving him all he could give, John was sharing his love – he couldn’t think of it that way. Maybe he was jealous after all. 

“Master Dick, Master John,” Alfred said and Dick jumped up to hug the hell out of Alfred. He was even more graceful now than he had been before. Even more than his father, Bruce thought. 

“Alfred,” John said. His voice, god, how much had Bruce missed his voice.

Alfred hugged John too and then he straightened, looked around the house. 

“It could have been worse,” Bruce said. At least Bane hadn’t tried to destroy it. He could’ve burned it down to the ground. 

“I don’t see how, Master Bruce,” Alfred replied. “I’ll be in the kitchen, trying to make some coffee, you do still drink coffee, Sir?” 

“Yes,” Bruce said with a smile and then he was alone with his lover and his lover’s lover. It had been different with Mary and Jon, because they had both been his lovers. 

Bruce didn’t know what to say and it was no surprise that Dick was the one who spoke first. 

“So, John said you know and that it will be alright, but you just came back from god only knows where-”

“The Pit,” Bruce said, “Which is a prison.” 

“And he made you watch while you were there,” John said gently. 

“Yes, he did. I saw everything he wanted me to see, to break me,” Bruce said. His voice was becoming flat, he realized. He didn’t want to remember the pain and fear, the hopelessness. The anger. 

“But you didn’t break,” John said. 

Bruce wasn’t so sure. He still felt unbalanced. He came back as the Batman – he didn’t know how to be Bruce Wayne. 

Dick looked at him, long and hard. “You don’t understand this,” he said. “Even though you loved two people, you don’t understand this.” 

“Mary and Jon, your parents had been in love with each other as well. We were a couple – in a sense. This is different-”

“And you don’t know how to share,” Dick said. He didn’t seem angry. He seemed wise beyond his years. 

“Not really,” Bruce admitted. 

“You can learn. I don’t want to take John away from you,” Dick said and suddenly Bruce knew that Dick would give John up. That he had tried already, in those few weeks when John and Bruce had figured it all out, well, when Bruce had figured his shit out, he thought wryly. Dick had tried, and had been unhappy for it and the same thing would happen when Bruce would step away from John. He would make himself, John, and Dick miserable. So, it wasn’t really an option. 

“I don’t want to take John away from you either, Dick,” Bruce said, because Dick had already lost so much. And some of it was Bruce's fault. 

Dick nodded. 

Bruce had no idea how this would work. 

Dick grabbed his hand, it was so much bigger and stronger than Bruce remembered it. For the first time ever, he looked at Dick and saw a young man instead of the child Bruce wanted him to be. 

“Ah,” Dick said, “Now you see me.” 

“Yes,” Bruce answered, but he was spared from following it up with something clean and clever by Alfred. 

“I prepared some food,” he said entering the living room with a tray. 

“Thank you,” Bruce said. 

While they ate Alfred and the boys brought him up to speed. He knew who his allies were now, who helped and who didn’t. 

“So, Gordon knows my secret?” 

“It was a no brainer really…” Dick said, stuffing his face. “He’s a smart cop. Good man too-” 

“And he’s dating Miranda,” John threw in. 

“I think dating is a strong word here, they weren’t on dates,” Dick said. 

“Stake outs are dates,” John replied. 

Dick grinned. “You would know.” 

“Yeah,” John said, leaning into Dick’s space. “I would.” And then he kissed Dick and Dick smiled at him and Bruce – had no idea what he was feeling. They were happy. In that bubble of theirs. There was none of that awkwardness Bruce sometimes felt, especially around Dick. 

“Don’t get tense on me now,” John said and grabbed his hand and then he kissed Bruce too. He tasted like tea and salami sandwiches, because that was how Dick tasted. Bruce wasn’t ready to know these things. He pulled away, gently. 

“Too much?” John asked. 

Bruce nodded. 

John bit his lip. 

Sleeping with two people would be a logistical nightmare for him. 

Bruce thought that Dick probably wouldn’t mind if John came to him after he had been with Bruce, but Bruce knew he would mind. 

He hadn’t liked it when John went to sleep with Dick after they had sex – one step at a time, he thought. 

“I’m willing to try, John.” Because that’s how much I love you two, went unsaid, but Dick heard it anyway, because he smuggled into Bruce’s side. 

“Okay,” he said. “Thank you.


	26. Chapter 26

**~twenty four~**

“Is he okay with this?” Dick asked as John was crawling into his bed. “I mean you haven’t seen him for months. He hasn’t seen any of us for months-”

“It’s alright, Dick,” John said softly. “He knows you need me, too.” 

Dick bit his lip. He needed John, but John wasn’t his anymore. The Occupation was over, but the effects still remained. 

Everything was different now. John dragged him closer, so they could cuddle. “You’re a better cuddler, Dick.” 

“He was good at it too, before my parents died. He was a good cuddler then.”

“Maybe he needs to relearn it,” John mused. 

“Maybe.”

“Sleep now, Dick.” 

Dick sighed and John kissed his forehead and then Dick was asleep. 

~+~

The manor was still a mess three days later. Even if you were Bruce Wayne, you couldn’t get stuff fixed in a few hours, and it wasn’t like other people didn’t need relief efforts more. And the manor had only a few broken windows. They boarded those up. 

They did what they could themselves. Cleaning wasn’t one of the fun things, Dick thought, wryly. “I wonder what Jay is doing,” Dick said, sweeping the floor. At least the electricity was working again and they didn’t need to use the secret back-up generator. 

“Selina is taking care of him,” John said. 

“We need to check on the boys at the orphanage,” Dick replied. “I think we need to adopt Tim.” 

John’s head snapped to him. “What?” 

“I said, we need to-”

“I know what you said, Jesus. Where is this coming from?” 

“I’ve been thinking a lot about it actually. You know? It’s not just a random thought. Ever since we found the adoption papers-”

“What adoption papers?” Bruce asked. 

“Mine,” John said. “I know Jon and Mary wanted to adopt me. I know that you wanted to adopt me,” John said gently. 

“What else did you find down there?” 

“Everything you hid away. That whole life we could’ve had. Violet,” Dick whispered. 

“I knew it would’ve been hard for you, Dick and I was a mess,” Bruce admitted. “After they died. I was devastated.” 

“Don’t you think I was too? They were all I knew. I had you left, but you weren’t there.”

Bruce ran a hand over his face. “I messed up really bad, didn’t I?” 

“Yeah, you did, but I don’t blame you for that. You and my parents, you really were in love. And I only recently realized it was the forever after kind for you until they died. You were so young back then and willing to have children with a couple. I mean, the scandal if someone should’ve found out about it.” 

“We wouldn’t have hid it from you and John and Violet. We wanted you all to know how much we loved each other, how much we loved you,” Bruce said. 

Dick nodded. “I know that now. And it makes a certain kind of sense, why you didn’t want to have John in our lives, and why you didn’t want to acknowledge your feelings for him. He should have been your son and instead you and he – fell in love.” 

“It felt like I was betraying Mary and Jon,” Bruce said. 

“But you should’ve known better, Bruce,” Dick replied, “They would have wanted you to be happy. They have always wanted that. John makes you happy. He makes me happy.” 

“Are you still angry that I sent you away?” 

“In hindsight, I have to admit it did open my eyes to all kinds of things. Seeing John with you, it made me realize I’m just like dad. Falling in love with both genders and even at the same time.” 

“So, you’re not angry anymore?”

Dick smiled. “The Occupation did open my eyes, too. You being in the Pit, it helped you figure shit out, didn’t it?” 

“Language,” Bruce said. 

John snorted. “Really?” 

Bruce shrugged. “Habit. I know I can’t do much anymore to raise you right.” 

“I think you did the best job you knew how,” Dick sighed. It hadn’t been always easy, but it wasn’t like he had been abused. John on the other hand – “There is something-”

“Dick wants to adopt Tim,” John threw in. 

Dick gave him a look. “Traitor,” he said. 

John smiled. He didn’t want to talk about the Linds now, and Dick would accept it, but he also knew that he would tell Bruce, if John shouldn’t. What if the Linds adopted other kids? What if they still did? Other boys were in danger. Something had to be done. Kevin would be a grown man now, but Dick thought he would still visit his parents. He had to look into this. He had to know for sure. 

“Dick can’t adopt anyone, he’s a minor,” Bruce said. 

“That’s why I think you should do it,” Dick said. 

“Dick-”

“You didn’t give John a chance because you couldn’t, but you’re better now, and you have John, and Tim knows that John likes men. Knows that he loves you. Knows that I love John. It’s not like we would have to keep secrets from him,” Dick said. 

“Really? What about the Batman?” 

“Tim is smart. He helped us during the occupation. He…might suspect things,” Dick admitted. 

“Does everyone and their mother know my secret now?” Bruce asked. 

John snorted again, like he couldn’t help it. Dick smiled. Bruce was different. The Pit did change him.   
“Only the people close to you, only people we consider family,” John said. 

“Like Miranda Tate?” 

“Yeah, she is kinda like a bad-ass bigger sister and she did help us figure out our own shit,” John replied with a look at Dick. 

“And Gordon?”

“Really?” Dick asked, crossing his arms over his chest. “Gordon figured it out on his own, I told you and besides, you like him. He is like your only friend. And Selina knows because she was there when Bane took you. And Tim, well. He’s smart. He watches a lot.” 

“And he needs a good home where people will touch him. He is really…weird about it,” John said. 

“Weird?” Bruce asked. 

“Not like that. Not like someone hurt him or anything. No, like he doesn’t know how to react because no one has ever bothered to be close to him that way. Like his parents didn’t have time to cuddle and blow raspberries on his stomach…” he trailed off. “What?” 

Dick hugged him and didn’t say a word. John’s dad didn’t have time to do that either once his mom died.   
“I’m alright, Jesus,” John said. 

“I now you are, but I’m still sorry you didn’t have anyone to do this for you.” John sighed. “And that is why I think Tim would benefit from being here. With us, we are awesome cuddlers,” Dick added, he looked at Bruce as he said it. 

Bruce still didn’t seem convinced. “I’ll think about it.” 

“Not too long, someone could snatch him away,” Dick said. 

“Like Selina?” John teased. 

“Like Jay,” Dick said. 

John thought about it and nodded. 

For a second Bruce just looked frustrated and he exhaled. “I have a lot of catching up to do.” 

Dick nodded. 

~+~

Dick wasn’t listening for it, not really, at least. But – it was like Bruce couldn’t get enough of John now that they had each other back and Dick was still curious about that kind of sex. Why John craved it so much. Why Dick just didn’t. 

It was probably like liking different food, but – But, there was always that but. Dick wanted to know and he also wanted to know how it felt to be the one in control. 

The first time, and Dick hadn’t thought John would do anymore besides than that glorious blow-job in the shower, John had all the control, because he knew what to do and how to do it and because Dick had really wanted to be taken by John, to be consumed in a way. 

The second time, it had been John who had made love to Dick, too. And so far they only had those two times and now Dick wanted more. 

He wanted to consume John now, he realized, he wanted what Bruce had. 

It was only fair. 

~+~

“John,” Dick said as soon as John flopped down on the bed. He smelled like Bruce’s shower gel. Dick knew he showered before climbing into Dick’s bed. They hadn’t done anything more than a handjob and cuddling, but Dick hadn’t mind. He felt more exhausted now than he had felt during the Occupation. 

Maybe it was catching up to him. 

The visits with Miranda, to all the shelters and orphanages, were taking their toll too. 

“I’m listening,” John said, curling into him. Dick rolled over, so he was pinning John down, sitting on his stomach. John looked up then. “No cuddling tonight?” 

“I don’t- it’s not, we need to talk,” he finally settled on. 

“That sounds serious and since you chose a night for this, under the covers, I assume it has to do with sex?” 

“I was thinking and wondering-”

“Am I neglecting you?” John asked. He tried to sit up, but Dick put a hand on his chest and he fell back into the pillows. 

“No, I would tell you, that’s what I’m trying to do. Tell you what I want,” Dick answered. Why was this so hard all of a sudden? He used to be so direct with John. 

“Hey, it’s alright, whatever you want to talk about, it’s alright,” John said. 

Dick ran a hand from John’s heart straight down and let it rest against his cock. John wasn’t hard and that was okay, he just had mad sex with Bruce after all. Dick pushed his hand lower and stared at it. He wanted to know how it felt. 

“I want to be inside you, like you were inside me,” he whispered and nudged that place with his knuckles. “Where you connect with Bruce too,” he added. 

“Oh,” John said. It was more like an exhaled breath, really. 

Dick snatched his hand away. “We don’t have to, I just thought-”

“But you would like to?” John asked. 

“Yeah. I know that some people don’t switch, but I would like to try. You switch.”

“Yes, I do,” John said. 

“And you like it both ways,” Dick replied. 

“Yes, I do.”

Dick had the urge to ask if Bruce switched, but he was pretty sure Bruce was a top. And it didn’t belong here either. This was about Dick and John. About how Dick was figuring this out for himself. 

John let his hands run over Dick’s legs. “Did you like it? When I was inside you?” 

“When you made love to me?” 

“Yeah,” John said. 

“Yes, I liked it. You felt really good,” he bit his lip. 

“What?” 

“It was better the second time, you were-”

“Less demanding?” John smirked. 

“Yeah,” Dick admitted. 

“I am mellower and less demanding when I’ve already gotten what I needed,” John said. 

“Like right now? I know you were with Bruce. I can smell his shower gel on you and you will have new bruises, too,” Dick said, leaning down and kissing John’s neck. He let himself sprawl over John’s body and closed his eyes. 

“I’m not too tired to make love to you Dick.” 

“What if I want to make love to you?” Dick asked, but he wasn’t really in the mood. He just wanted an answer. 

“I would let you, Dick,” John said. 

“Would you enjoy it?” Dick asked. 

“I don’t know. I’ve never – no one has ever,” he stopped. “I only let Bruce do it.” 

“Oh,” Dick said. He had thought that John and Lucas had switched it up too. “So, you never let Lucas do it?” 

“It never came up. He liked it on the rough side, too,” John said. 

“But you would let me?” 

“I love you and I don’t think – everyone has the same rights, Dick.” 

Dick kissed his collarbone. “Thank you.” 

“You don’t want to have sex now, do you?” 

“No, just this. Just let me stay like this,” Dick said, closing his eyes. 

John stroked his neck, and then his hair and Dick fell asleep. 

~+~

As soon as the bridges were mended again, only two so far, people started to come back. 

Dick wasn’t really surprised to see Lucas and Dimitri at their doorstep, one Wednesday morning, two weeks after the Occupation had ended. 

“Thank fucking god,” Lucas breathed and hugged the hell out of Dick. Dick hugged back. Funnily enough that had been the first thing Amanda had said to him when she was finally able to reach the manor. They were still in Germany, but her father was trying to get a flight to the states as soon as possible. Dick had told her not to worry and that he loved her and then he had told her about John and she had told him about Nils. 

Nils who was in love with Amanda and thought Dick was hot. 

“Good to see you too,” Dick said. 

“Is John alright? Alfred? Bruce?” 

“We’re fine, Lucas,” Dick said. 

“I wished I was here,” he replied. 

“It was horrible, Lucas. I was glad, am glad, you weren’t here. People died,” John said from the doorway and then Lucas shoved Dick at Dimitri and hugged the living hell out of John. 

They didn’t kiss, Dick noticed. He didn't know if it was because of him or Bruce or Dimitri. Things changed, maybe that was the only explanation.

“John, fuck. I was so worried about you guys.” 

“We’re fine. How is Parker?” 

Lucas laughed. “Sick of me, I imagine. Also in the freaking car outside, because he thought you would be overwhelmed or some shit.” 

John laughed. “Dick, tell Parker to come in.” 

Dimitri let go of him and Dick ran outside to fetch Parker. “Sure!” 

~+~

It was like every freaking wet dream Dick has never dared to have, watching the twins. They were perfectly in synch. It was so surreal. Dick didn’t know Parker as well as he knew Lucas, but it seemed like he knew him anyway. 

“It’s blowing your mind, right?” Dimitri asked. 

“Yeah, it totally is,” he grabbed a carrot stick and watched the twins talk or explain or something, they were doing it with their hand and feet too, to John. John was laughing. 

Dick was suddenly aware how very few friends they had their own age. He had to find Jay. For real, not his half-assed attempts. 

“And you spent all the time with Parker?” 

“Not really, he went to the sea, to save fish, so me and Lucas, we found an apartment and waited.” 

“For it to be over, so you could come home,” Dick said softly. 

“Yes, but it’s not much of a home anymore,” Dimitri replied. “At least you are alright.” 

Dick nodded. They were. “We are alright.” 

“And you and John, you are?”

“Yeah, it’s complicated, because he’s with Bruce and I am still with Amanda, too, but yeah. We’re figuring shit out.”

“Good,” Dimitri said and hugged him again. Dimitri was a good huger. 

They had dinner and played board games and cards, because no one felt like watching TV, and then the awesome wondertwins and Dimitri went home. 

Dick leaned into John. “Awesome wondertwins,” he said. 

John giggled. Too much to drink maybe. But it seemed like a day for celebrations. Dick himself was a bit tipsy too. 

“Dimitri gives good hugs too,” Dick added. “We should have him come over once Tim lives with us.” 

“You really want that, don't you?” 

“Yeah,” Dick said. “Have you talked with Bruce about it?” 

“We are kinda in our second honeymoon phase,” John admitted. 

“You dog,” Dick said. 

John laughed. “You need to stop listening to Parker trying to be 'cool',” John said, making the air quotes too. 

“I think Parker is cool, actually,” Dick said. He meant it too. After all Parker was saving the whales and kittens from trees and shit like that. “They are the wondertwins, John. Lucas is with the Gotham police and his brother is standing between Wahfängern and baby whales.” 

“What?” John laughed. “You always slip into other languages when you're drunk?” 

“I'm not drunk and have no idea what you're talking about,” Dick said. 

“I need to get you into bed, right now,” John replied. 

“Ah, promises, promises,” Dick teased. He felt pleasantly warm and tired. 

They stumbled up the stairs to Dick's room and just barely managed to undress before they fell into bed. 

~+~

“Master Dick, Master John, you have visitors,” Alfred said, pulling back the heavy curtains. 

Dick burrowed under the blanket. Alfred was clearly a sadist. It was way too early to get up and he had a hangover. John grumbled and turned away from the sun. 

“Shall I tell Master Jason you are not well?” Alfred asked. 

“Shit,” Dick mumbled. 

“Language,” Alfred chided. 

“Tell him I’ll be downstairs in a few minutes,” Dick said. 

“What about Master John?” Alfred asked, looking at the bundle that was John under the blanket. 

“Nah, leave him. He can sleep it off. He isn't as young anymore,” Dick grinned and got up. He was showered and dressed in a matter of minutes. 

Jason was grinning wide as he looked Dick over. “Wild night?” 

“There was alcohol, board games and twins. I'm gonna keep my mouth shut about the details,” Dick grinned back. 

Jason laughed. “You're such a liar.” 

“Everything I just said was the freaking truth,” Dick said and then he grabbed Jason by the shirt and pulled him into a hug. Jason felt solid and warm as he hugged back. 

“Your Butler made breakfast and left it in the kitchen,” Jason said. 

“Shit Jay, where have you been? I've been looking for you. Left you messages and stuff.” 

“There were things I needed to attend to.” 

“Selina?” Dick asked as they made their way to the kitchen. It smelled like peach tea. Dick inhaled deeply. 

“You're such freak,” Jason said. 

“Don't mock it until you’ve tried it,” Dick replied. “So, your business?” He asked while he was pouring them tea.

Jason sniffed it and then took a sip. “I got B out of there.” 

“Really? I mean? How the fuck did you manage that? Didn't he go down?” 

“Bullet hit him. Shoulder. It’s gonna be okay. Selina got him antibiotics and shit. Didn't ask what she had to trade for them.” 

“You should have come earlier.” 

“Dick, your guardian, parent, what the hell ever, is the freaking Batman and B – he isn't on the Batman's Christmas list.” 

“Me and John would've helped, you know that. He did keep John safe.” 

Jason nodded. “I know. This isn't half bad,” he added, nodding to the tea. 

“Thanks. So...what is it you need?” 

“Selina said that the Batman could get her that clean slate she wanted. She wants it for B.” 

“Okay?” 

“They kinda have a thing, and maybe, possibly, are in love or some shit and want to play house -”

“Shit, Jay,” Dick said and hugged him fiercely. 

“Yeah, whatever...but B needs a clean slate or they're going to hang him. People are still angry, Dick. They don't care that B saved a lot of kids during these months. Kids no one cared about anyway.” 

“He had to go on national television with Bane,” Dick sighed. 

“Well, he didn't think it would matter. He didn't think he would make it anyway.” 

Dick nodded, grabbing a cinnamon roll. He didn't even wonder where the hell Alfred got it from. Probably made it. “These are awesome. Take one and then maybe one more to take back to your parents,” Dick said. 

“Dick,” Jason said. 

Dick stuck his tongue out. “I'm gonna talk to Bruce.” 

“It's so surreal that he is Batman.”

“I know right?” 

“There's another thing. I was talking to Selina about maybe adopting Tim-”

“That’s nice of you and all, but me and John decided that he’s gonna be a Wayne,” Dick said. 

Jason raised an eyebrow. “Really? What about you know who?” 

“Well, he has to be convinced, but I think I can do it,” Dick made his eyes real wide and shiny. “Please, please?” 

“Shit,” Jason said, “You look like weird, innocent porn. Not sure I'm turned on or creeped out. But I sure as hell would give you everything, so you stop looking at me like that.” 

“I used to be better at this, but in a pinch it'll do,” Dick grinned. 

Jason shook his head. “You really want him to be your brother.”

“Yeah. I think he needs to learn how to cuddle without being all weird about it, you know?” 

“You don't think me and Selina are the cuddly bunch?” 

“You give good hugs, but nah...he would get up to all kinds of stuff with you and B and Selina. And you know it. I want to raise him right,” Dick winked. 

Jason laughed again. Dick loved to hear him laugh. “Wanna go and play outside?” 

“Play?” Jason asked. 

“Yeah or maybe we can go swimming?” 

“You have a pool?” 

“We have two, but we don't brag,” Dick said. 

Jason shook with laughter now. “Okay. Lead the way.” 

Dick grabbed another roll. It was good to have someone his age to just hang out with. 

~+~

He and Jay were still in the pool when John joined them two hours later with a mug of coffee. He still looked a bit tired. 

“Hey, Jay,” John said. 

“Hey, yourself. I hear you and Bruce are ready to adopt?” 

John gave Dick a look. “He's right you know. You would both be his daddies.” 

“That is...” John took a sip of his coffee. 

“Weird? Not what you want to think about just now?” Jason asked, floating on the surface. He was only wearing his boxers and they didn't leave anything to imagination. Dick didn't look. 

“The second one,” John said. He wasn't looking either, Dick noticed and felt good about it for some weird reason. 

Jason turned on his stomach and swam to the edge of the pool. “He can take care of himself. It's not like you'll have to feed him. You'll just have to love him like family. I think you and Dick can do that just fine.” 

“Yeah, I think we can.” 

“Talk to Bruce then. Because Tim will wither away in that boys' home and it won't even be the Father's fault. He just has too many boys to care for, and after all the dead are counted, I bet he will get more still.” Jason said and then looking at John. “If you're taking Tim, we're gonna take Mark,” he added. 

“Really?” 

“Yeah, I think I should have a brother,” Jason said. “And when I get them the clean slate thingy, Selina and B totally owe me.” 

John laughed into his mug with coffee. “I think Mark will fit right in with you guys.” 

“I'm gonna take this as a compliment,” Jason said. 

“It's totally meant as one,” John assured him.

~+~

Dick called Amanda every other evening, when he could. There was so much stuff to do and helping Miranda with all her charity projects made Dick really happy. 

“You sound happy, too,” Amanda said. 

“You should invite that boyfriend of yours over so we can talk,” Dick replied. 

She laughed. “I just might. You are happy, aren't you?” 

“I am. Me and John are finally together. You are coming home-”

“Only for a few weeks, Richard,” she said gently. He missed her calling him that. 

“Yeah, but now that the Occupation is over I can visit you too.” 

“Will you ever talk about everything that happened to you during that time?” 

“No. I don't think so. There was just so much...death and unfairness and – no. Amanda I probably won’t. Not with you.” 

“I get it, Richard,” she said. “I wasn't there. I wouldn't understand.” 

“I am fiercely glad that you weren't here. Same goes for Lucas and Dimitri and even Alfred. At least I knew you guys were safe.” 

“I was so afraid, Richard. So fucking afraid that you would die. And when they hung up the special ops guys. I mean John is a cop and Gordon and you were with them all the time,” she stopped, took a deep breath. “I'm sorry. I'm still freaking out on you, even you are okay and hooking up with pretty boys.” 

“Only with John,” Dick said. “And I kissed Jay once and once he kissed me. He has these lips-”

“Look at you, the poster boy for modern polygamy.” She laughed and it made Dick feel all warm inside. 

“I miss you.” 

“Yeah? Did you miss me when you were sharing your bed with John?” 

“I missed you then, too. Not as much, because I was afraid for my life, but yeah. And I jerked off to memories of you, too.” 

“Hmm, anything in particular?”

“The way your breasts pressed into my back when we were in the shower.” 

“When I stroked you slowly, yeah...that is one of my favorites too, Richard.” 

“Can't wait to smell you,” Dick said. 

“You say the sweetest things,” she replied. 

“Send a picture of that Nils person, love,” Dick said. 

“Okay,” she replied softly. “I love you, Richard.” 

“I love you, too,” Dick said and listen to her breathe until she was ready to hang up. 

~+~

“I think you need to tell Bruce about Kevin,” Dick said and he knew it wasn't the best freaking timing, since they were naked in the pool and John was licking his neck, but- Bruce wasn't home and it was rare that they had a moment or more to themselves lately. Since Dick was helping Miranda with the relief efforts, Bruce doing a lot of fundraisers and John helping the police. 

“Really? You want to have that conversation now?” John asked, he was driving a point home by dragging his cock against the small of Dick's back. Shit. 

“It's important.” 

“We haven’t had sex since the Occupation, Dick. This is important too.” 

Dick turned around and kissed John gently. John groaned. “You can have your wicked way with me once I said my piece okay?” 

“My wicked way, hmm?” 

“As wicked as I can handle it,” Dick amended.

John kissed him. “Talk.” 

“I've been thinking about it. I know you think, it's all in the past and Kevin is a grown man now. But what if the Linds still have foster kids? What if he is abusing them when he comes over? They might stay silent because mostly it's a good home. What if he doesn't live in Gotham anymore? What if he has foster kids on his own, John? What if these kids can't get away? You never looked him up, did you? Not even once you became an officer.” 

“No, I didn't. I just wanted it to be over.” 

Dick nodded. “I don't blame you, but now we need to do something] and Bruce can do it. He can make sure that man is punished for what he has done to you. You deserve justice, John.”

“If I send the Batman after him,” John asked, “Wouldn't that be revenge?” 

“No, because Batman was never one for revenge. He is all about justice, John. You have to tell him.” 

John sighed. “I hate it when you make a sound case.” 

“I learned from the best,” Dick replied and kissed him again, this time a bit harder with intent. 

John pressed him against the edge of the pool. “Come on, sit up. I wanna suck you now.” 

“John,” Dick moaned and got out of the water, spread his legs and let his head hang. His fingers grabbed the edge of the pool hard as John took him into his mouth. John was just so fucking good at this and Dick hoped that John enjoyed Dick's practice blow-jobs too. And then he wasn't thinking about much of anything anymore, because John was caressing that spot just behind his balls that made him crazy with want.


	27. Chapter 27

**twenty five**

John took a deep breath, closing his eyes… he didn’t want to dredge up the past, but Dick did have a point. One that he had never considered before, because he pushed it far from his mind. What if Kevin was still abusing little boys? The thought made him sick and he wanted to hurt someone.

Bruce brushed his thumb over his inner wrist and John opened his eyes. “We’re here for you,” he began, squeezing his hand. “You did promise to tell me all about it and it seems you told Dick.”

“It wasn’t like that-” John rushed, not wanting Bruce to think that he told Dick over Bruce, especially when he had asked John about it. 

“He was trying to prove a point,” Dick added and John glanced over at him. “Cause he was worried he fucked me up-”

“Language.” Bruce stated and both Dick and John rolled their eyes. 

“Anyway, um, my last foster family-” John tentatively began when he noticed Bruce tense.

“The Linds?” Bruce cut in, anger laced in his voice. “But I checked them out thoroughly...” he paused, clenching his fists. “Did they hurt you?” 

John shook his head, slightly confused. He didn’t realize Bruce knew the Linds, but John shouldn’t be surprised… it kinda made sense. “No, they were great. Even when I was such an ass to begin with. I really didn’t want to be placed in another home, I was so done with that shit, but they were insistent and I relented, not that I really had a choice.” He studied Bruce for a moment, when it just clicked in his head. “Because you arranged it, didn’t you? Was it in preparation to being adopted by the Graysons?” 

Bruce nodded, “I gave them money until…” 

“My parents died.” Dick whispered. “And then you just left him there.”

Bruce nodded once more, dragging his fingers through his hair. “It’s my fault.” 

“No, you didn’t make Kevin do shit. He was in college and probably off your radar.” John argued, not believing for a moment that it was Bruce’s fault. “You were only trying to keep me safe.” 

“What did he do to you?”

“It was nice at first, I guess… he was loving and kind, but it was all fake. I didn’t know at the time, I thought we were in love and what we had was special. I was foolish to think that he really cared for me.” John sighed. “It was just some touching at first, he let me explore his body and he made me feel normal for liking boys. He encouraged me… over the summer and most of the fall. We kissed and touched and he got me off and I got him off… and then that Christmas he got drunk and he told me that he was going to fuck my little ass and that he was done with this lovey dovey shit. That I was taking too long and that he never cared for me.” John’s voice wavered slightly as he remembered that night in detail… Kevin had tried to force himself on John, but he had been too drunk and John had easily gotten away. He shook his head, trying to clear his thought. He took a deep breath before he continued. “I think that hurt more than anything else. It didn’t occur to me at the time that it was abuse. The only thing I could do was get out of the situation, so I ran away and lived on the streets for a while before I ended up at the orphanage again.” 

“He abused you, manipulated you, and forced your devotion for months. He was old enough to know better.” Bruce seethed. “What is he doing now?”

John shrugged, “I don’t know.” 

“Is that why you like it rough?” Dick suddenly questioned. 

John blinked, “What?”

“Well you like it rough, it’s one of your things…” Dick’s cheeks flushed lightly and he glanced at Bruce. 

“I-” John inhaled, it made so much sense to him. He initiated the rough sex, it felt more real to him and well, “Fuck, maybe you’re onto something. I never thought about it like that before.”

“And why you thought you were abusing me.” Dick added softly. “But it was never false between us, I love you and you love me. And I’m never gonna let you forget. I love you, John.”

“And I love you,” John smiled, knowing what they had was real and then he chanced a glance at Bruce, but he seemed deep in thought. “Bruce?” 

“He’ll pay for what he did to you.” He squeezed John’s hand and then swiftly got up, heading to the Batcave, John assumed. 

John followed him, “I want to help… let me help.” Bruce turned to him and John reached out to him. “I need to do this.”

Bruce nodded, taking his hand and they went down to the Batcave together. Dick stayed close, giving him the silent support that John needed. 

Bruce pulled away and signed onto the computer. “Do you remember anything about him? It’ll help narrow down the search.” 

“Not really, he went to Gotham University… majoring in education. I think.” John rubbed his neck, trying to remember anything else. 

Bruce typed in his name and stats. It didn’t take long and they found where he lived… John’s heart skipped a beat and his chest felt too tight when he realized where Kevin worked. 

“Fuck,” John inhaled. “Does he have a police record? Please tell me there wasn’t anyone else.” 

“He doesn’t have a record, but if you didn’t say anything, it’s highly likely that no one else has reported him either.” Bruce stated as he drew up another screen, hacking into the school database. “He’s been a teacher and coach at Gotham Elementary for years… wait, there’s a note here. A parent complained about him, but it doesn’t look like there was an investigation or reprimand.” 

John inhaled sharply, feeling sick at the thought. “Fuck.” 

Bruce didn’t correct him, he was too deep in concentration… Dick wrapped his arms around him, and John leaned against him, wrapping his arms around Dick in return. 

Bruce stood, he looked angry, vengeful. “He’ll pay for his actions.” 

John nodded and pulled him to him, needing to feel Bruce against him and he was rewarded by Bruce's strong arms wrapping around him and Dick. “Thank you.” 

Bruce kissed him and then glanced at Dick. “Take care of him.” He pulled away and swiftly disrobed and suited up. He looked amazing in his Batsuit and it took John's breath away, every time. 

Dick only held on tighter as they watched Batman leave them in the cave to clean up the streets… and John wished that he had said something sooner. 

~+~

He knew Dick was trying hard to keep his mind occupied, but he couldn’t concentrate on anything but what the Batman was out there to do. John dragged his fingers through his hair and got up. He just needed to move. 

“John.” 

“I know, I know…” John shook his head, he was anxious and he should just let Dick take all his pain away.

“So do you hate sex with me?” 

John startled at the question, not expecting that at all and turned to him. “What? No.” 

“But you prefer the rough sex with Bruce.” Dick looked utterly defeated. “And now you know why.” 

John rushed to him, pulling him into his arms and kissing him, “I love every moment with you, because it’s you.” He pressed his brow against his. “Never think I don’t want to be with you.”

Dick sighed, tightening his arms around him. He didn’t seem all that convinced, “Really?” 

“Really, you’re stuck with me.” He kissed him once more, savoring the tender kiss. “For better or worse.”

“John.” 

John pulled away from Dick, glancing over to Bruce as he entered the room. His eyes were dark and his body tense. 

“Is it done?” Dick questioned and Bruce simply nodded, not saying anything further. Dick glanced between them and sucked in a quick breath. “Okay, good.” 

John closed his eyes in relief, “Thank god.” Bruce arms were suddenly around him and John leaned into him, smelling the musky scent of leather and Kevlar on his skin. “I don’t want to know.”

“He won’t hurt anyone else,” Bruce vowed as he kissed John's brow. 

John looked up at him, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” He glanced over to Dick and realized he was no longer there… John didn’t even hear him leave. 

“The timing was never right,” Bruce stated, brushing his lips against John’s neck and he suddenly wanted to feel Bruce all around him. He needed to feel safe and whole. “I understand.” 

John nodded, “Love me.” 

“Always,” Bruce promised and then swept him away to their bed. 

~+~

John smiled against Bruce's skin, feeling safe and sated. He kissed Bruce’s skin and then he started to pull away, needing to shower before he went to Dick… like he did every night. 

Bruce grabbed his wrist and John paused. “Stay.” 

John raised a brow, Bruce had never stopped him before. John had just assumed he was okay with it, Bruce did agree to this. “What?”

“Stay,” his voice was more urgent and Bruce tightened his grip. It sent a shudder of desire through John’s body. John should be pissed, but it was such a turn on too. 

“Why?” John asked, his voice slightly breathless as Bruce pulled John to him, his body pinned to the mattress. John arched up into him, his body responding to the possessive, jealous streak. 

“You go to him every night,” Bruce hissed. “I’m trying, John, because I love you. But I can’t handle spending every night alone. I did that enough in that damn Pit.” 

John inhaled sharply, he didn’t realize it affected Bruce this much. He wouldn’t have gone to Dick every night… “You should have just said something-”

“I am.”

John nodded, wrapping his arm around him and kissing him once more. “I’m not going anywhere, this is still a work in progress… we’ll make this work.” Or he’d die trying. 

~+~

The next morning, Dick was nowhere to be found and John hoped Dick wasn’t upset with him for staying with Bruce overnight. It was the first night that they hadn’t spent together, since the end of the Occupation. He was still trying to figure out how to make this work… and he kinda wished Amanda was here to help. John rubbed his face, it wasn’t easy trying to keep two lovers happy. 

“Earth to John.” 

John snorted, rolling his eyes. “It’s good to have you back, even if you’re a pain in my ass.” He teased lightly and Lucas snorted. 

“I thought Wayne was in your ass.” 

John laughed, “Yes, he is… and it’s fucking fantastic.” 

“Good to know.” Lucas smiled. “So, what’s up first?” 

John sighed, it was back to business. They were working hard to clean up the mess that Bane had left in their city. Batman did his duty at night and in the daytime, John and Gordon cleaned up the streets. It was hard work, but they were getting closer. 

~+~

“Hey!” Dick grinned as he jumped up to greet him. “How was work?” He asked as John pulled him into his arms and kissed him. 

“Not bad… slowly getting there.” 

Dick nodded as he pulled away. “Don’t I know it, I had a charity event with Miranda this morning.” John squeezed his hand. “I saw Jay and he invited us to dinner tomorrow night, I said it should be okay.” 

“Sounds good.” John smiled as the sunk back down on the sofa. “So…”

“So?”

“We’re gonna have to work out a plan, every other night or week. What would you prefer?” John asked, not really wanting to have this conversation, but they needed too. “Bruce doesn’t want me to go to you every night… and I don’t blame him.” John sighed, rubbing his brow. “I’m sorry I suck at this, it’s a little harder than I thought to give you both equal time.” 

Dick nodded, “What does Bruce want, did you ask him?” 

“No, he just made it clear to me last night that he didn’t want to spend every night alone and I don’t want him to feel like that.” 

“That’s not fair, John. Cause neither do I.” Dick whispered. “And it’s not fair to you either and this is really fucked up, ya know?” 

“Yeah,” John cupped his face, kissing him. “We’ll make this work, somehow. I love you.”

“Love you, too.” 

John pulled him into his arms and they just cuddled on the sofa until Alfred called them to dinner. Bruce joined them and he was happy to have the two men he loved together. This was his family, his home.

“So, Tim, I think we should adopt him.” John began and Bruce shook his head. 

“Yeah, I think so too.” Dick looked to Bruce, with those big blue eyes. 

“Those puppy dog eyes don’t work on me anymore,” Bruce began, but fuck, Dick could get away with murder if he wanted too. 

John attempted the look, gazing into Bruce’s eyes. “Please?” 

“You two are incorrigible.” Bruce smiled, “Good thing I’ve already started on the paperwork.” 

“Really?” Dick inhaled, his face brightening. 

“I thought about what you two have said and I think it would be good to have some young blood in the house. Sounds like we need it more than Tim.” 

John smiled, “I think so too. We’ll just have to take one day at a time.” 

Everything was finally coming together. They were making a home for themselves.


	28. Chapter 28

**twenty-six**

Dick was glad he could talk stuff over with Amanda, it probably wasn’t fair to talk about his relationship with John with her, but who else could he talk this over with? 

“I know you think it’s not fair that Bruce has John to himself every night. Having the kind of sex you don't, but Richard, maybe Bruce feels lonely too.” 

Dick thought about it. It could be. He used to sneak into Bruce's bed when his parents were still alive. Damn, his parents slept in Bruce's bed too. John had been spending nights with Bruce before the Occupation. Dick had been jealous then too, but - 

“I know. I just got used to having him beside me every night, Amanda. I mean, during the Occupation we slept together. Just knowing he was there beside me made me feel more at peace. Safer too.”

“I understand,” she replied. “I think you and Bruce need to talk about this. About your feelings-”

Dick snorted. “Yeah, right. I will be talking and he will be looking at me, until I feel like I did something wrong-”

“Richard,” she interrupted gently. “You said he changed. That the Pit changed him. Maybe he will be more willing to talk about his feelings now. It is important. You know it. You can't play tug of war with John's feelings. It will tear him apart. He obviously loves you both equally.”

Dick sighed. She smiled at him. It was good he could see her face now when they talked. The internet connection was still wonky sometimes, but he’d take Skyping and seeing her face over the phone every second of every day anyway.” Hurry up and come over already,” Dick said. 

Amanda laughed. “I'm on my way, Richard. Daddy said we can be in Gotham next week. I wanted to surprise you, but you so obviously need something to look forward to,” she winked at him. 

He wanted to kiss her badly. “Just so you know? I will ravish you first and then we can talk some more.” 

“I count on it, Richard,” she replied. 

Dick had no idea how he could ever get so lucky to win her over. To have her love him and all his crazy family and love drama. “I love you,” Dick said.

“Oh, Richard. I know that,” Amanda replied smiling brilliantly at him. He said goodbye and then jerked off to her smile. 

~+~

“We need to talk,” Dick said after breakfast, when Bruce and he were alone. John was already on his way into the city to help the police like most days. 

“That sounds serious,” Bruce replied. “Is it about Tim?” 

“No, I know you will keep your promise to me and John. I know you will make Tim a Wayne. You will like him. I already love him like a brother, Bruce. He will fit in perfectly.”

“Your mother said that about John,” Bruce said. 

“And she was right. He is keeping us together,” Dick said. John might also have been the reason why Bruce and Dick were on so shaky terms, but Dick mostly blamed Bruce's chaotic feelings for that. 

“Sometimes, I wonder if he would’ve grown out of his crush when we would have adopted him. If he grew up being my son – instead of always being in love with me. Always pursuing me.” 

“We will never know, Bruce,” Dick said, only a bit wistfully. 

“No, we won't. So if it's not about Tim, then it must be about John.”

“Yes.”

“You're angry because I made him sleep in my bed after we-”

“After you have sex,” Dick rolled his eyes. “Bruce, I'm not a kid anymore. I have sex with Amanda, I have sex with John. He makes love to me-”

“I don't want details, Dick,” Bruce cut in a bit too sharply and then ran a hand over his face. “Sorry. This is hard for me. Sharing him with someone. Sharing him with you. You are my son. I know I messed up, but I’ve always seen you as my son, Dick.” 

“I know and when I was younger I actually thought I was the luckiest kid to have two dads that were both so awesome. But once you started to act crazy because of John-”

“You stopped seeing me as a father figure.” 

“Because you were wrong, and you knew you were wrong, and still persisted, Bruce.” 

“I had reasons, I really thought you were too young to be fooling around-”

“No, you didn't think that at all, Bruce. You thought John was too old to be touching me. But John loved me back then too. We both just didn't recognize it for what it was. I think,” Dick continued, “I loved him from the first moment I saw him. From the second I fell into his lap.” 

“Dick.”

“No, let me. I wanted to make him happy. From that very first moment I saw him, I wanted him to be happy. To be part of our family, to make him happy. Me, I wanted to make him happy, but he can only be happy with the both of us. I know you love him. I know you want to make him happy too.” 

“Yes, I do. I love you too, Dick. You should know that: I don’t say it often enough, but I’ve always loved you. In the Pit, it was you and John I was thinking about. I was worried about you and Alfred.” 

Dick nodded. It was good to hear that. Dick had suspected, but it was good to hear the words. “I understand that after the pit you need to have someone near during the nights, but Bruce. You can’t always have him. I need John too. I-” he bit his lip. “We don't always have sex. John and I. Not like you and John. I know every night he goes to your room you have sex. That is not the case with me and him. We sometimes just sleep. We haven't had sex in weeks, Bruce,” he looked at Bruce then. 

“You miss it?” 

Dick shrugged. “Yeah, of course I miss it. But you, you wear him out because you can't get enough of him and he can't say no to you, to us,” he corrected himself. “So we have to do it. We have to try and not be so selfish.” 

“You think I'm selfish?” 

“Yes, I do Bruce. You are used to getting your way. You are used to doing things on your own. But that won't work here. You have to work with me. I don't want to schedule our sex and sleeping patterns, that would just be weird, Bruce. You have to let him go from time to time. Or-” Dick said and took a deep breath, looking at Bruce. “Or you'll let me sleep there too. With you.”

“Like I did with your parents?” 

“Yes,” Dick said. It was a crazy idea, but he thought that it would work best. There was an empty room between his room and Bruce's. Actually there were more than one, but one would do. “We could use one of the empty rooms and meet there to sleep after-”

“After we have sex with John?” Bruce asked. “That's crazy, Dick.”

“Do you have a better idea? One that doesn't involve charts?” Dick replied. The more he thought about it, the better the idea seemed. A neutral ground where they could be a family. Their own crazy messed up kind of family. “We wouldn’t have to feel lonely and cold at all, Bruce. We could spend every night with the people we loved. Basking in their warmth. Cuddling. You used to be good at it when I was younger,” Dick said quietly.

“I-”

“And John showers anyway before he comes to me, so...you and I could do the same. I can't be alone at night, Bruce. Not now. It will be possible in the future, probably, but not now,” Dick admitted. He hadn't told Bruce about the Occupation, but he was sure that John did. “I need to feel a human heartbeat when I wake up, I need to know-”

“That there is someone there when you reach out, to grab your hand,” Bruce finished for him. 

Dick nodded and smiled up at Bruce. “Yeah.” 

“We need to talk with John about it.” 

“I don't think he will have any objections, Bruce,” Dick replied. 

Bruce nodded. “Dick.”

“Yeah?” 

“You know, you can come to me with whatever. I am here to listen if you need to talk about what happened during the Occupation,” Bruce said. 

“I know. I'm just not ready yet, Bruce.” 

“I understand,” Bruce replied. 

“Thanks for the offer,” Dick said. “It means a lot to me.” 

Bruce got up then and Dick knew he was uncertain about it, but Dick really wanted that hug now.   
He stood up too and face-planted into Bruce's chest. Bruce's arms were strong and warm and he hugged Dick close. He felt small, like a kid, like nothing bad could happen to him, and he wondered if John felt that same way when Bruce made love to him. Protected and loved. 

“I'm going to do better from now on, Dick,” Bruce said quietly. 

“Okay...” Dick believed him. He pulled away after a few more seconds. “There is something else I want to talk to you about.” 

“I'm listening.” 

“It's about that clean slate thing.” 

“The one I promised Miss Kyle? How do you know about it?” 

“Jason,” Dick said. “The thing is Selina cared for him and other kids-”

“You think she redeemed herself?” Bruce asked. There was a sharpness to his question. But Dick wouldn’t back down. 

“She doesn't even want it for herself,” Dick said. “She wants it for her lover, who just happens to be Barsad,” Dick said and let it sink in. 

“Bane's second in command,” Bruce said. 

“Yes.” 

“You want me to help the man who held a whole city hostage? Who kept John captive, who threw me into the Pit?” 

“He helped John. He kept him safe. He helped Jay and he looked out for the kids in this city that no one else cared to look out for. He punished the rapists and child molesters,” Dick said hard. He had come to terms with this. He would rather see these men exiled, than another child fall into their hands. He'd rather no child had to be saved.

“He let them out in the first place!” 

“No, that was Bane and besides you think that all of them were in Blackgate? What about those who saw an opportunity once the law was out of order?” 

“Dick. He is a terrorist.” 

“Who saved dozens of children. Who saved Jason. Who helped Selina. Who didn't push the trigger,” Dick said. “Selina is in love with him. Jason sees him as family. He offered to get Jason and Tim out. Probably other kids too. He isn't evil, Bruce. You have to see that,” Dick pleaded. 

“I need to think about it,” Bruce said. 

“Talk to John. He spent time with Barsad. He knows him. Talk to Jason and Selina, Bruce, but don't just think about it.”

“Okay. I'll talk to them and then I will decide what to do,” Bruce replied. 

“Thank you,” Dick said. 

~+~

“Dick?” John asked. 

Dick made room in his bed for John and John crawled in beside him. He grabbed Dick's hand under the covers and Dick turned to him as John did the same. Dick could smell John's fresh minty breath. He had brushed his teeth. 

“You talked to Bruce?” Dick asked. It wasn't a real question. 

“Yeah. You were a busy little bee this morning, weren't you?” 

“Shit needs to happen, John,” Dick replied. 

“Bruce said you think he's selfish.” 

“I am, too. We both are. It's only natural to want to have you to ourselves. But I am trying to be good about this, John. I just can't sleep alone on all those nights. He has you every night. He has sex with you every night and then he also wants to keep you, that's just not fair.” 

“Dick-”

“I know it's selfish, I know, John. Okay? I can't help it. He can give you everything. Sometimes, I have no idea why you even bother with me,” he bit his lip. He hadn't wanted to say that. But now it was out and they had to deal with it. 

“Dick, I love you.” 

“I know. But you aren't even sure you want me to make love to you,” Dick said. He had talked about it with Amanda, because he didn't understand why John could be gentle to other people, how he could need so much gentle platonic touches and then turn his back on people who wanted to make love to him. Gentle and slow. “Is it because Bruce doesn't let you -”

John grabbed his neck and pulled him closer. “No. Dick. No, it's not because Bruce doesn't let me fuck him. He does. Sometimes. But it's not what I need from Bruce, Dick.” 

“But it's what you need from me?” Dick asked. “What about the things I need? Don't you think it's messed up to shy away from this? Don't you think you should at least try to address the issues you have with people being gentle with you, when they have sex with you?” 

“Are you my therapist now?” John said, pulling away. 

Dick grabbed him and rolled on top of him. Pinning him down. John's breath hitched and Dick loosened his grip. 

“I want you to enjoy everything I can offer you, John.”

“Sometimes people just aren't into the same things, Dick and it's okay.” 

“You don't even know if you like it, because you shy away from it. Because Kevin made you believe that it's false. That people who are gentle in that way don't love you, but I love you.” 

“I know you do,” John said, straining to kiss Dick. 

Dick sighed into John's mouth. And then moaned when John slipped him his tongue and deepened the kiss. 

“You're trying to distract me with sex,” Dick said. 

“Is it working?” John asked. 

“I don't know, I think you have to try harder,” Dick teased. 

John smiled. “It's been so long, Dick.” 

“Not my fault, that you’re so exhausted when Bruce is done with you, John.” 

“I'm not tired now,” John said, making a point by thrusting his hips upwards. Dick could feel John's erection coming to life. He licked his lips and looked down at John. 

“We're doing it my way, okay?” 

“Dick-”

“I'll make it good, John. Just let me make love to you and if you should feel uncomfortable or freaked out, I'll stop, okay?”

John nodded. “Okay.” 

“Okay.” Dick had never done it before, but he had licked Amanda to orgasm and he thought that rimming would pretty much work the same way. He was good with his mouth, his tongue, and he liked oral sex. He loved to make his lovers feel good that way. 

“Hey,” John said. 

Dick looked at him. “Yeah?”

“You looked... scarily sexy right now,” John laughed and Dick had to kiss him then. 

“I'm gonna eat you out now, John,” Dick stated just so he couldn’t talk himself out of it.

John's breath hitched again. “Dick – you don't have to-”

“I want to. I told you I love oral sex. Giving even more than receiving, John. I want to stick my tongue up your ass-”

John laughed, rather shocked. “Shut up you, or I'm gonna do something drastic.” 

Dick grinned and let go of John's wrists, so he could get him naked. Dick kissed every mark he didn't leave on John's body and then sucked a few more onto John's hip and thigh. He licked carefully around John's cock and balls and then let his tongue slide lower between John's cheeks. John spread his legs to give Dick more room and Dick shoved every pillow they had under John's back. 

John laughed. “Read up on this?” he teased. 

“I watched educational porn on Bruce's laptop,” Dick replied. It wasn't even a lie. He kissed around John's hole and then pushed the tip of his tongue inside. John made a noise Dick had never heard before, but it sounded like a good noise so he just kept going. Alternating between kissing, sucking, licking, and pushing a bit deeper. He didn't let John rush him. This was a delicate procedure. This wasn't something that could be done hard. Dick wasn't going to push a single finger inside John. John was meeting the short thrusts of Dick's tongue, trying to take Dick's tongue deeper. Dick could feel the tension in John's body. The helpless noises made Dick unbelievably hard. He wondered if he could make John come like this. 

“Dick, please,” John said, grabbing for Dick's hand and pushing it to his cock. Dick wasn't going to deny John, but he would stroke him in time with his licks. His mouth was getting tired and he made a mess out of them both, but he would totally do it again. He stroked John gently but with increasing speed until John's body went taut and then limp. He kissed John's thigh and then licked upwards. John's cock twitched. Dick smiled into John's skin. And then he let himself fall beside John. He stroked himself lazily, knowing John was watching him. It really did it for Dick, knowing John was devouring him with his eyes. 

“You are so fucking beautiful,” John whispered and kissed Dick. Dick nearly choked on that kiss, he was just catching his breath from that intense orgasm. 

Dick smiled. “Did you like it?” 

“Smug bastard, you know I loved it, Dick.” 

“I'll do it again and again and again,” Dick replied. He sat up. “Come on, shower now. Bruce is probably waiting in our bed already.” 

“This is crazy, you know?” 

“It's only sleeping, John. Me and Bruce, we've done it before,” he winked at John and then grabbed his hand to pull him up and then dragged him with Dick into the shower. 

~+~

Tim crossed his arms over his thin chest and looked at them. “You want to adopt me?”

“Yeah,” Dick said. “John and I, want you to be our brother.”

Tim nodded. “And Bruce Wayne?” 

“Thinks we need fresh blood at the manor,” Dick said with a wink. 

Tim glared at him. 

“Don't you want to be adopted by Bruce Wayne?” John asked. 

“Do you like it here?” Dick asked. 

“I- I do want to go home with you,” Tim admitted. 

“But you feel guilty,” John concluded. “Because the other boys have to stay here.” 

Tim looked stubborn. “I know it's stupid. I know you can't adopt them all. I know that Bruce Wayne can't adopt them all and I get why you chose me-”

“Not because you know and we can keep an eye on you that way, Tim. It's because I love you like family already and because John thinks you need to learn how to cuddle,” Dick cut in. 

Tim gave John a look. 

“Guilty as charged, I'm afraid,” John said. 

“I'm not a puppy to be trained,” Tim said. 

“Don't fight it,” Dick replied. “Come home with us. Bruce is already working on the papers, Tim.” 

Tim uncrossed him arms and Dick took that as an invitation to grab him and hug him close. And then John's arms were around them too. 

Tim nodded. “Okay.” 

Dick hugged him tighter.


	29. Chapter 29

**~Epilogue~**

_Barsad_

Barsad knew that Jason and the Wayne boy were thick as thieves during the Occupation, and he knew that Jason believed that Dick would try to do the right thing, but he wasn’t so sure about Bruce Wayne. Hell, if Barsad was honest with himself, he wasn’t even sure what the right thing to do was here. He had been ready to destroy the whole city. He believed in the goals of the League, even if not necessarily in those of Bane. 

He still believed in the teachings of the League. Not all of it was bad. It was always about what you did with your knowledge. 

He hadn’t thought that a woman and a street kid would change the course of his life, but here he was now with Selina, tucked safely in the bed they were sharing and Jason – Jason, Barsad smiled. Jason was teaching Mark how to cheat at poker. 

Batman landed silently on the rooftop above the fire escape Barsad was standing on. He looked up. The Batman was a dark shape against the night sky. 

Barsad threw his butt away and got up onto the roof silently and then he waited. Jason made their case already. Barsad had no idea what he could possibly say to tip Batman’s opinion of him in his favor. 

“Dick thinks you deserve a chance,” Batman said. 

Barsad nodded. “He is friends with Jason.” 

“I talked with all of them. Jason, Dick, John-”

“Your lover,” Barsad said. 

“My lover, whom Bane captured and held captive. Whom you kept safe – according to John and Dick.” 

Barsad shrugged. He just – he hadn’t wanted John to be harmed for fun. Tortured, beaten or raped. He wasn’t that kind of man. “I didn’t do it for him. I would have done it for anyone.” That was the truth,after all. And Barsad had the feeling the Batman already knew it. 

“But you didn’t have to help the children,” Batman said. “They weren’t left in your care.” 

“Are you trying to make a case for me? I did kill, I held this city hostage, I helped Bane regain his power. Saving a few children can hardly matter.” 

“Do you want to be punished? Do you want to be thrown in jail? Executed once tried?” 

Barsad laughed. “No. No sane person would want that. But I don’t want you to see a man in me I am not,” Barsad replied. He needed the Batman to see him and still find it in him to give Barsad the clean slate. He wouldn’t want to live with the Batman constantly doubting him, or his own decision. 

“You watched as he broke my back,” Batman said. It was a growl, really. 

Barsad nodded. “Yes.”

“And you stood at his side when he freed the inmates of Blackgate. Murderers and rapists. Child molesters.” 

“Yes.”

“You brought them to the court. At least those Dick, Selina, and Jason left for you to find. You sentenced them to death.” 

“Doctor Crane sentenced them to exile,” Barsad corrected gently.   
Batman was in his personal space in a flash. He was frightening. He was stronger, but Barsad had seen him broken and he knew – no. He wouldn’t go there. He wasn’t here to fight. Batman took a step back as Barsad looked him in the eyes. “What is the verdict then?” He asked calmly. 

“Jason believes you can do good here.”

“I don’t intend to get mixed up in your business again,” Barsad replied wryly. 

Batman gave him a look. “But you intend on staying? With a master thief and a street-kid.” 

“And Mark,” Barsad said. Mark was the white sheep in their black sheep family. He probably wouldn’t stay that way for very long. 

“Yes, I heard from Dick about that too,” Batman was looking at him. “You’re not a good man.”

“No,” Barsad replied. “But are you? You burned down the Leagues headquarters. Innocent people died in that fire. Boys not older than twenty.” 

Batman took another step back. Barsad was suddenly acutely aware that Bruce, that Batman had never thought of it that way. He watched as Batman shook it off. 

“You are, however, honorable,” Batman said. 

“I try to do what I think is right,” Barsad replied. “It might not always seem that way, but then you know how that feels, don’t you, Mister Wayne?” 

Batman nodded and then he took out the USB drive and handed it over to Barsad. “For you and Selina Kyle.” 

“Will you be regretting this? Checking in on us, worrying?” Barsad asked as his fingers curled around the small device. 

“I will try not to,” Batman answered. 

For some reason it made Barsad smile and then Batman nodded and he was gone. 

~+~

Jason was waiting for him in the small living room. Mark was sleeping over with the Father’s blessing. Barsad had the feeling that it was John Blake’s good word that made the Father allow this. 

“He was here, wasn’t he?” Jason asked. 

“Yes, he was.” 

“So, you guys had a nice little chat about our future on the rooftop?” Jason asked, he tried to sound like he didn’t really care, but Barsad knew he did. He was hoping for a family he could fit right into. Barsad knew that he and Selina could be that family. 

“We did.” 

“B.” Jason said. 

Barsad actually liked it when Jason called him that. “He gave me the clean slate, Jason.” 

Jason exhaled harshly. “No shit?” 

“I believe John Blake and Dick spoke on my behalf.” 

“You aren’t a bad man, B,” Jason said. 

“I’m not a good man either,” Barsad replied. He had very few illusions left about himself. 

“You can always be better, you know?” Jason grinned. “Wanna wake up mom-”

Barsad laughed. “Don’t let her hear you.” 

“I’m not afraid of her,” Jason said and Barsad believed him. It was a good thing. Their kids shouldn’t be afraid of them. 

“I’ll let her sleep and tell her tomorrow.” 

“Me and Mark will be gone for a few hours then. So you can celebrate,” Jason said cheekily. 

Barsad shook his head. Who would’ve guessed he would be happy about this? 

“See that you do. Try and not get into too much trouble, especially with your brother around,” Barsad said. 

“You know, I like the sound of that, brother.” 

Yes, Barsad thought, he had always liked that word too. Family had a nice ring to it as well. 

 

_John_

He didn’t think that this would have actually worked… he had his doubts, but it was the perfect solution for them. John loved being able to sleep with both of his lovers. Bruce was a solid mass behind him, his strong arms wrapped around him and then Dick was curled into his chest, his head tucked against John’s heart. 

John always slept in the middle, but that was exactly where he wanted to be. He smiled when he felt Bruce brush his lips against his neck. “You’re thinking too loud.” Bruce whispered into his ear and John glanced back at him. 

“Just happy thoughts.”

Bruce’s eyes sparkled and John knew he was happy too. He could feel it, in the last few weeks Bruce had been more open and alive. Like he cherished every moment like it was his last. The Pit had changed him for the better it seemed but John hated that he had to endure it, that their town had to go through so much in the process. But it was an eye opening experience for all of them. 

“Good.” Bruce smiled and John couldn’t help but lean back and kiss him. John hummed against his lips and moaned when Bruce deepened the kiss with a slip of his tongue. 

“Shhhhh,” Dick grumbled still half asleep as he curled tighter into John’s arms. 

John chuckled, turning back slightly and kissing the top of Dick’s head. It was almost time to get up, but he indulged Dick as much as he could. 

He knew there would be a knock on the door soon and Tim would be there, ready for their morning ritual. It had quickly become a thing, but John didn’t mind. It showed how far Tim had really come… it had been rough at first, but Tim had really opened up to them, emotionally and physically. He no longer cringed when he was hugged or touched.

Tim was a smart kid and he learned and adapted, it was so good to see the changes in him. And his family.

Bruce had really taken a shine to him and he loved teaching Tim. That boy craved knowledge and he soaked up everything as quickly as a sponge. 

“Helllllllo?” Tim called out as he knocked on the door. 

John smirked, right on time. 

“Tim.” Bruce’s deep voice answered and then Tim came running over, pausing at the edge of the bed. 

“Morning,” John smiled and nodded at Tim, it was all the encouragement he needed and he crawled up, splaying on top of them. 

It was perfect.


End file.
